You people are so funny. I should write a recap about the message boards.
BFF #2 Paul sent me a link that someone posted on the Houston ABC site about my recap and how “the author Lincee is mysterious and likes the Dallas Cowboys.” Let’s set some things straight, shall we?
Myth #1: I love the Dallas Cowboys.
Wrong. I don’t care for them. It’s a long story…but good. Next time we meet, I’ll tell you about it.
Myth #2: I’m a gay man.
Is it wrong that I feel good about myself that my writing is compared to a gay man? No? I’m a straight girl.
Myth #3: I live in Connecticut.
Negative. Live in Houston area.
Myth #4: I work at Levenson in Dallas.
Wrong again. Old job.
Myth #5: I’m not really going to LA to see my new BFF Chris Harrison to rag on him about what has got to be THE most hideous tie known to man.
That would be false. Jill, my sister Jamie and I are leaving this weekend. Hollywoooooooood.
And my favorite of ALL TIME…
Myth #6: I am an ABC plant trying to generate publicity for the show.
I know what you people did. You read my Levenson profile that says one of my clients is ABC Radio. That is true. Tom Joyner, Paul Harvey… But I worked on the account for about a year and it went away. I’ve never met BFF Chris Harrison in person before. But I will this weekend. To, again, ask what the deal was with THE most hideous tie known to man was about.
All together now…bless his heart.
SIMPLE DISCLAIMER
The following information you are about to read is of personal opinion. If this e-mail circulates to friends, family, enemies...that is your business. However, if you or someone in your address book happens to personally know, sort of know, know the brother/cousin of, thought you saw in the grocery store buying tofu or have a nail technician that looks exactly like one of the Bachelorettes on the
show...none of this is personal and I'm sure they are all lovely people.
Website count: 69,110
I knew this was going to be a great episode when I received a call from Caroline and Jamie practically screaming in the phone around 8:30 last night. Little did they know that I had TiVo’d the episode so that I could watch it in its entirety without commercials. Needless to say, they were both disappointed when they couldn’t discuss the absolute nonsense that was going on during home town dates.
But before we get to dive in to that nightmare, ABC decides to torture us with a video montage of previous “bucket grabbing” home town dates from beyond the Bachelor grave.
You remember Tara’s father. The one that toted the rifle and shot at Quarterback Jesse’s feet? Classic.
Remember how Boring Alex pulled that kid’s arm out of the socket and made him cry?
Remember how Bachelor Bob could not understand Mary Mary’s family as she was in the kitchen planning her wedding with her nine sisters?
Remember Brook’s Dad? You know the BAMA room?
To make us all feel better, they show a GOOD home town date. With Trista and Ryan. Lord that girl’s voice STILL bugs to this day.
QUICK RECAP OF THE GIRLS
Fortunately, if you have never seen any of the shows, ABC wraps the past four weeks in a nice neat package and encourages McHottie to give us a rundown of the competition. He notes:
“Susan is beautiful. She’s smart. But she doesn’t let her beauty go to her head.”
Translation: McHottie has a McThing for McSusan. And why I ask you WHY did ABC makes us endure the horrid “smitten kitten” remark again? They must have done that for us. Seriously.
“Sarah from Canada has a beauty and innocence, but seems a bit distant now.”
Translation: If only McHottie was about six years younger.
“Sarah from Tennessee is fun and great to be around.”
Translation: So is McHottie’s dog.
“There is something about Mowana. She is sexy, mysterious and natural.”
Translation: McHottie would like a closer look of that back tattoo.
Home Town Date One
California
Mowana
Mowana is stoked. Dr. McHottie is coming to her town to meet her parents, soak up the sun and surf. She greets him with a warm, “How’s it going gook lookin’?” He responds by picking her up for a hug and putting her down. And then picking her up again and putting her down. And then awkwardly picking her up a third time since she is not letting go of the death grip she has around his neck.
Clue number one Dr. McHottie.
Dr. Mc confides in Mo that he doesn’t like to make plans. He just wants to take chances and live outside the comfort zone.
Note to self: Never EVER go to the emergency room Dr. McHottie attends.
They continue to lie on the beach talking about how vile it was to live in the house. Funny. I kept waiting for Tara to stumble up with a margarita in her hand slurring, “We were just wondering where our boyfriend was!”
Instead, Mowana talks about how she loves the fact that she has put her heart out on the table and left it there for McHottie to take. She says the experience has been remarkable and she feels free.
Where’s my dang bucket?
Mowana is so pumped to take McHottie surfing. He has never been before. And he still hasn’t. Because there was not a wave in sight. So they just sat around on the surf boards and made out.
Curses to the ABC intern! I thought you were better than this! You are on a beach. Find a board. Pay some kid to borrow there board for 20 minutes. Get out there and boogie board yourself to the action. I don’t care if you have to tape the camera to your head. Such a shame that all the action was filmed from the shore. I’m disappointed.
This just in…the regular ABC intern was back in Nashville redecorating McHottie’s house. Ohhhhhh. It all makes sense now. Carry on.
After a close crotch shot of Mc and Mo holding hands, we meet her parents. Everyone is hugging and McHottie takes this time to go and bond with Mo’s Dad. Dr. McHottie says that he appreciates him opening his house to a complete stranger and tries desperately to get a reaction out of this stone faced man. Nothing. Maybe a grunt or two…but otherwise, daggers.
Clue number two Dr. McHottie.
Before dinner, they decide to sit down and visit. Mo’s step-mother says that the entire show is disgusting and under minds the home, family and marriage. She asks him how he sleeps at night and then goes to another room…unable to look him in the face.
Everyone stares. Mo does not jump in. She wants to make sure her man is STRONG and can handle himself.
McHottie tells the crowd that his parents have been married 35 years.
Silence.
McHottie tries quickly to rebound and says, “If you stay who you are and get to know each other, everything is fine.”
Silence.
The father finds his voice and questions, “What do you believe in?”
McHottie enthusiastically answers, “A lot of things. How much time do you have?”
Silence.
He stammers, “I want to feel good as a person. I want to be a positive member of society.”
Ouch.
At dinner, the father asks if McHottie is a Christian. He says he is a Presbyterian. The father responds, “What does that mean?”
And McHottie is denied.
Mo finally jumps in and proposes a toast to the Louisiana Purchase or something like that and they eat. Later, her Dad steals her away and questions that she is so “caught up” in this guy. She vows that she recognizes something in him and reminds her Dad they he meet her Mom at a football game with cookies and hot chocolate. Yep. It’s destiny.
Meanwhile, Dr. Mc “appreciates” the family having him over for the fourth time and tells them that he likes their daughter and this is very real. Mo and Mc give each other lame hugs and kiss for the camera.
Home Town Date Number Two
Canada
Stoner Sarah
We see Stoner and her magic boobs feeding ducks on a random pond, waiting for her knight in shining armor to arrive.
Funny. If this were me, meeting my parents in Hallsville, Texas, we would have to have our “scenic meeting” at the water tower, Dairy Queen or the steps of the First Baptist Church.
But Stoner and her magic boobs are feeding ducks in a quaint pond and McHottie walks up. She and her boobs ask for a hug in her best mouse voice and he obliges. McHottie is hoping to re-connect with Stoner and her magic boobs. They had a connection. But now he wants to reconnect. Because reconnecting would be amazing. It was amazing before…you know…when they connected. But now…since the amazing disconnect, it is obvious that an amazing reconnection is what the Dr. McHottie ordered.
They go play pool at a bar. Stoner and her magic boobs ask if there are rules to this game after admitting that she and her magic boobs have played before. She and her magic boobs ask about the house and if he knew what was going on. He says yes. She and her magic boobs want to talk about Mowana. He doesn’t. Stoner and her magic boobs decide to throw Mo under the bus anyway and McHottie defends her.
“You wouldn’t want me to judge you for being immature and not old enough would you?”
This is called foreshowing ladies and gentlemen.
They have a miniature fight in the bar. Stoner and her magic boobs put on their best 8th-grade pouty face…just to prove that she is mature…and they leave to go to her house.
And when I say her house, I mean her house. My girl Stoner and her magic boobs still live at home. We find this out when her Mom talks about how many phone calls Stoner and her magic boobs receive all the time. I was laughing my butt off.
McHottie gives advice to Stoner’s brother about medical school. He looked 12 to me, so he must be some Doogie Howser. The Mom continued asking dumb questions about the show. Told McHottie that Stoner had blessed her life with energy. Stoner and her magic boobs decide to kill the mood by bringing up constant reminders that there are other girls in this competition. McHottie found this annoying.
Stoner and her magic boobs follow her Mom to her fluffy pink bed with mosquito net hanging from the ceiling. She clutches her teddy bear and asks Mom how to play the game to win McHottie’s heart. Mom says to be herself.
McHottie comes in. He pays the kid brother $10 to stand outside the door and knock if the Mom comes up the stairs. They lay on the princess bed. Stoner and her magic boobs ask McHottie a serious question, “Do you believe you create your own destiny?”
McHottie doesn’t understand what she means, so he removes the teddy bear from the front of her mouth and kisses her to make it all go away. He claims that she is an onion…with many layers.
They get lit from her stash hidden in the teddy bear and pass out.
Home Town Date Number Three
Nashville
Nashville Sarah
Hey…did everyone catch that McHottie and Nashville live down the street from each other? I know…it was tough to realize. I had to remind TiVo a few times, but I finally got it. Once from him. Once from her. Once from Mom. Once from Dad. Once from Aunt Rhoda. Once from the dog. Once from the sister. Once from the other sister. Once from Chris Harrison. Once from my boss. Once from my sister calling. Once from Julie calling. Once from the snotty kid. Once from the mean kid. Once from hot dog vendor and once from reading online.
But I finally figured it out. How amazing is that? What a connection. Seriously.
McHottie walks to Nashville’s house with his dog. The dog makes herself right at home and walks in the apartment. They go to the park and talk about all they have in common. Like being from Nashville, and biking, and going to the park, and being from Nashville.
McHottie confesses to Nashville that he wants to live in the mountains one day. Nashville tries to act casual, but there was sheer terror in her eyes. She doesn’t climb mountains! If he took her to Colorado…he would know!
Eventually, her two sisters arrive with a gaggle of kids claiming to be Miss Stone’s students. We all know that they are the ones that the parents wanted on national TV. If you look closely, you will see a multitude of SUVs in the parking lot with little beady eyes peering through binoculars.
McHottie gets a big kick out of Miss Stone leading her class through a rambunctious game of Let’s Sit in a Circle and Introduce Ourselves to McHottie.
BORING MISS STONE! We are in a huge park. Give me a little Red Rover or dodge ball…something. We came all the way here to sit in a circle? This is SO not worth the Barbie doll my Mom promised me.
Nashville takes her family to McHottie’s home for dinner. Dad and McH talk shop. Burgers. Grilling. Favorite cuts of meat. Bourbon. Nice.
Nashville and the women folk talk about the life of a doctor’s wife in the den. Long hours. Cute nurses. Living away from their back yard. Doesn’t seem to be a match.
To make matters worse, Mom pulls out the home video from 1993 of Nashville singing and dancing. She thinks this will surely make McHottie change his mind about her daughter. But alas…McHottie finds it endearing that Nashville doesn’t take herself too seriously.
The two make out. Of course we don’t see the lips because there is some weird editing going on. I’m pretty sure Nashville was standing on a stool. They both confess that there was an amazing connection that they lived so close and had so much in common.
Home Town Date Number Four
North Carolina
Susan
There it is again. Susan on a random bridge in the woods. There are no bridges in Hallsville. Maybe I could use the football stadium? Or the historical marker we have in front of old Mrs. Wood’s house?
The pair wears matching denim and black, sitting on the green grass drinking wine from coffee mugs without shoes on. Another life question is asked, “Are you comfortable in life? Are you content?”
Susan claims she is in transition. McHottie pulls out his fortune cookie and states, “The key to my own happiness is to be happy right now” and stuffs the paper back in his pocket to use later.
Susan then rambles on about some glass being half empty and one being almost full and pouring one into the other and sharing and drinking and evaporation and then it all being okay in the end. McHottie shakes his head. He gets her depth.
They attempt to toss a football and then kiss in the Duke Gardens. Susan says that she “likes how you do that” and McHottie says, “Do what?”
We’ve got some sharp ones here!
After smiling for the camera, the two go to meet her parents. Mom announces that Susan is a dater. McHottie looks interested. Susan snatches her Mom up by the arm and drags her to the kitchen. They have a moment.
Mom: Susan…you don’t have an apartment, career and you just broke an engagement. Are you sure you want to do this?
Susan: (Smiling stage left) I will do what I have to do Mother. And thank you for not wearing makeup on national TV so I can look that much prettier than you.
Back at the table, Susan’s Mom can’t stand it any more and divulges that Susan is not ready for a relationship because she is freshly out of a broken engagement.
McHottie does not look concerned.
Susan and her Dad have a heart-to-heart about her career. Basically, she tells America that she is in this to further her career as an actress and will do whatever it takes to get there.
I don’t like her any more. Don’t think she is honest. Especially when she takes McHottie to the local LaQuinta and brainwashes him into thinking she is in this for real. She waves a locket in front of his eyes and tells him she is 100% honest in her intensions and feelings. She is not rebounding. You love Susan. Susan is the one for you. Kiss me now.
Which he does.
ROSE CEREMONY
Lord help me. I was so proud of ABC for not having the lame photos on the Pottery Barn dresser, but here they are again. Four photos in a library. Candles everywhere. Roses. Books. Weird curtain.
And then the video messages:
Stoner Sarah and her magic boobs: I hope you want to do this with me.
Nashville: I’m so glad we had fun fun fun. It was amazing.
Susan: I’m looking forward to falling in love with you. (Bucket)
Mo. Dear Mo. Mowana cracked. Little unstable are we? Can I get a Lexapro over here? Don’t have any? Here…you can have one of mine.
She said that she found a piece of herself in McHottie and that when he was with her family, she was 100% solid. She thanked him for being him and giving a piece to her. She confesses that she would love to be herself with him because she knows he would be careful.
Mo. C’mon. Take it down a level or two. Give me a break. Surely she did not want that to be on national TV. Surely the ABC people claimed they ran out of tape or SOMETHING. Awful. Just awful.
McHottie gives his three roses to:
Susan: who almost tripped into him
Mo: who said she “guesses” she’ll accept the rose. (Do I need to replay the hysterical tape for you again?)
Nashville
Poor Stoner Sarah, her magical boobs and McHottie are forced to squeeze into a tiny seat outside the rose ceremony room for him to tell her that they met too soon. What the crap does that mean? She calls him out and says it was an age thing. She professes to the camera that life sucks. He sucks. She sucks. Everything sucks. And that she feels sorry for him.
But enough about that…the exotic, romantic overnight dates with the infamous forgo keys are next week! Can’t wait!
It is my understanding that when you witness the Women Tell All live show, you must promise your first born child that you won’t say anything about the episode you watch. I, being a proud American, will honor that commitment. Don’t’ ask about the episode because I won’t tell you. I’m that cool. Wish us luck this weekend!
Website count now: 73,906
You guys rock. Thanks for the great posts on the message boards!
All about the shame, not the fame,
Lincee
About Me
- Lincee
- My older sister taught me at a young age to say the ABCs, so when it was time to learn them in school, I memorized them backwards, and it has been my "stupid human trick" since I was five years old. I can also talk like I’m stuck in a closet.
276 comments:
1 – 200 of 276 Newer› Newest»Where DID those magic boobs come from?
Holler back, Lincee! Good luck in LA! Definitely go have some sushi at Koi or lunch at the Ivy- lot's of celeb citings to be had.
Maybe host Chris will give you that rainbow tie he had on last night!!
Have fun in LA Lincee..also, can you please post a pic so we can look for you?
Did anyone else notice that everytime McHottie and Nashville talked about how close they lived together, the actual distance varied? At first it was: "We are both from Nashville." Then is was: "We live in the same area." Moving on to: "We live 1/2 mile away from each other." Followed by: "We live a block away from each other." We get it. What's next? "She lived in my basement apartment and we never knew it?"
good luck in LA. I know you'll come up with a great question so we can all see you!!!
As always, you are right on! Good luck in Hollywood! Always been about the shame, but now it's time for you to get some FAME!
I don't think we are supposed to post comments here anymore, but...
Good luck in LA Lincee! I think that is the coolest thing ever! When does the show air? I will be dying to hear what you have to say about it after it airs (then you can talk about it, right?)
I thought you lived in Dallas. I think it is pretty cool that you live in Houston, so do I! If you don't have a group to watch the Bachelor with, you can come to mine!
From one Baylor girl to another, Sic Em!!
Lincee, you never let us down! Love your train of thoughts and the random comments! I still find myself laughing out loud over your comments - love 'em!
Stoner & her magic boobs - I think my friend was reading that sex ed. book in college!
Once again, a girl starts talking about past relationships and the doc reaches for his drink! and once again, I'll re-iterate, never a good sign.
My thoughts: he was a avoid a nuclear meltdown by picking Mo. The obvious age difference (which I called out when he picked Tara and Stoner) was his easy out. I hope and pray that he knows what he's doing....maybe he's got his own surprise for us up his sleeve!
Word to the straight guys, Paul & Lincee!
For the record: I cannot stand Susan. Haven't liked her from day one. She's NOT pretty. She's cute from a distance, yes, a distance. From date #1 in Paris I thought she was feeding McHottie a line. Everytime she talks I think she's auditioning for a soap. She drives me crazy.
And what? No comment about Stoner's hair during her post-rose ceremony meltdown? I couldn't stop laughing. She was nice and neatly combed with the Farah hair then BOOM, crazy hair, red, teary eyes. It was classic.
does anyone else think that dr. mchottie resembles a bobble head doll at times? i can't stand susan. she is a great big faker just waiting for someone from the bold and the beautiful to call her.
Hey Lincee!
I have to say, I think this week's recap might be the best one ever! I was watching with one of my friends last night, and we also noticed the magic boobs! Thanks for making my Tuesdays fun!
THANK YOU!!!
Last night my husband pointed out that McHottie has a McBobble Head!
Long time listener (since Firestone)...first time caller.
Since I feel like I have a friend going to the L.A. taping, I thought I'd draft some possible questions for you to ask ABC. (I have no questions for the girls - you've pretty much summed it up for us every week)
General Questions to ABC:
1. Have you any idea how many times I've heard "I wouldn't watch this show if it weren't for the recap" and will you be compensating me for that?
2. How long have you been reading my recaps? Be honest, now.
3. Did you coach everyone to stop saying "journey" and replace it with "adventure"? What will you replace "amazing" and "connection" with next season?
4. I didn't bring a blanket to hide under while we watched video of hideously awkward moments...right here...live...with the bachelorettes. I'll need something to bring me down off the ledge. Will you be supplying Valentine Oreos or should I just jump? DP and Pringles will be fine, but Valentine Oreos would be salvation. No, Red, I don't want a swig. On second thought, maybe I will...we did just watch the replay of stoner's tongue.
That's all for now.
Love your commitment, love your banter, love my Tuesdays! Thank you!
Best of luck in LA... How will we know which one is you???
i'm sure we'll all be able to easily spot lincee at women tell all....she'll be the one with the notepad! lincee, how are you going to do it without tivo? because you're witnessing this first-hand, we will need seriously detailed notes.
oh, and since you got to take a guest, you should've auctioned that trip off!!! a "be my guest at the winner tell all" contest. you could've made some serious cash!!! you'd could buy a lifetime supply of oreo's and dp!!
anyway, this recap had me giggling at my desk so much that i think i'm going to have to start reading these from home!!! have a blast! we're all want to see you on nat'l tv just about as much as ms. rotting eggs!!!!
mary in dallas
houston huh? i swore you were in dallas at the beginning of this amazing/crazy recap journey/adventure.
i propose a recap fan club convention starting in houston and making it's way to "a town near you"! events include: "dress like your favorite bachelor/bachelorette" and "how many times can you use the word amazing and rediculous in a sentence?" Special appearences by Bob, Trista, and Alex (because you KNOW that fool is still up for grabs!).
Thanks for the re-cap Lincee! Good luck in Hell-AY!!
Looking forward to seeing you on the Tell All!
I'm surprised Lincee didn't comment about how insane Sarah and her magic boobs looked after she got booted! Not trying to be mean here but her hair was so big it looked like she stuck her finger in a socket and her face was red and blotchy. My roomates and I were laughing hysterically!
Good luck in LA!!
Lincee ---
Any chance you will post recaps from seasons gone by??
Houston
go hallsville...east tx is the place to be born and leave home..
pittsburg is my old grounds and we
don't even have a Dairy Queen anymore..thanks for everything
you do to make us smile
Poor Stoner Sara, she was kind of growing on me. I was a least hoping Moana or Susan would get the boot. Maybe McHottie felt bad, b/c their parents obviously have it out for them. If Moana gets out of control at the Women Tell All taping(assuming she's there), please slap some sense into her. Sheesh.
Did anyone notice that although Moana was SOBBING in her taped message to McHottie, that not a single tear rolled down her pathetic face? She was wiping them away like crazy--all those big (not)wet alligator tears...someone get that girl an imaginary tissue for God's sake--we've got a pretend flood over here!
Um it's "undermines" not "under minds" LOL
I wonder if Moana is taking acting lessons from Susan....
Lincee,
Excellent as ever!
Please, please, please find a way to sneak in your pink hardhat!
Nashville Sarah cracked me up last night when she said she was sure that being from Nashville was the basis for their "connection." When he said he wanted to move to the mountains, she was suddenly the deer in the headlights! Classic!
And as soon as I saw the pictures on the antique built-in furniture, I couldn't wait to read the recap, because I knew you'd have something to say!
"This is called foreshowing ladies and gentlemen."
LOLOLOL! And it's FORESHADOWING not foreshowing thats not even a word.
Oh well good recap anyway! Thanks.
hey 3:18, if you're going to point out a typo on lincee maybe you should make sure your punctuation is correct! haha
fyi-on moana's myspace page, there's a picture of her in the same surfing getup that she wore on the hometown date. she's also wearing jewelry on a very significant finger. not saying it's anything, just interesting.
mary in dallas
"LOLOLOL! And it's FORESHADOWING not foreshowing thats not even a word."
Yeah, well, if you parse "LOLOLOL" you're saying "laughing out loud out loud out loud." Makes way less sense than "foreshowing."
Oh honey, I will defend Lincee and her on-it sharp wits any day!
I thought "The Women Tell All" was live?
HI, Lincee.
Just an idea. After watching Dr. nashville's demeanor whenever one of the girls wants a kiss, i understand his desire to go to the mountains - I think he wants to go to Brokeback Mountain, to be specific. And Sarah Nashville, who has about as much sex appeal as a dead gnat will be his choice for the Final Rose. She'll be a great beard at all the medical society functions a good doctor's wife must attend.
Just my opinion. And have fun inhollywood.
Lincee,
I really wish we could be friends...I have been wishing this for many seasons now. I live in the Orlando area and when I read you were recently in Orlando (even though I have never met you) I was sad I didn't know so I couldn't meet. And trust me, I thought it was very strange after I first had the thought, but I think I've read weirder messages on your site. So anyways if you're ever at Disney world again, let me know!
Chris H.... if you are reading this, the best thing you can do is have Lincee up on stage to put the smack down on these chicks....that would be better than "the most exciting rose ceremony yet"
Ratings would skyrocket if she was asking the questions...
Yeah! Dr. McHottie is like a cold fish with these kisses! I don't think I've seen one bit of tongue yet. Whenever he kisses ANY of them, it's like all the positive ions in the room just disappear, and there's suddenly an overwhelming negative charge. Bleah. To quote Lincee, where's my bucket?
I think Susan could be a good beard too, though. Poor Sarah Nashville truly seems to want Doc to be her perfect pinup Mr. Right grillin' husband, but all Susan wants is a ticket to Hollywood. He helps boost her career...she helps him stay in the closet awhile longer...perfect!
Have a WONDERFUL time in LA and keep us updated as much as you can!
Love the Sarah park date SUV/binoculars add in - hilarious!
Hey, Lincee!
I think Susan's sneaking in an audition for a part, any part will do in Hollywood. She's lying about her feelings for Travis - ie, she has none. And Moana is moaning her way into the looney bin up in Rusk as I write this, I'm sure. That leaves safe-soccer-mom Sarah who lives down the street from the doc so she's the safe choice. We'll see at the "Final Rose". I have a feeling Trav has a surprise for us. I don't think he'll choose anyone UNLESS...he can give the lucky girl a promise ring or a broken heart locket - (he'll wear the other half under his pink scrubs).It should be interesting...
Thanks for the recap Lincee! Another great one!
Have a great time in LA. Maybe you could wear a little pin that's a pink hard hat. I'm thinking Swarovski (sp?) crystals . . . Anyhoo - enjoy and thanks for making my Tuesdays great!
You asked last week if anyone went to high school with Chris Harrison. I didn't go to high school for him, BUT for my 16th birthday (I'm almost 27), I got an autographed headshot of him. My Mom works at the same TV station in Oklahoma City where he was a sportscaster & she told him I had a huge crush on him. I could have killed her! He is a really, really nice guy.
Did anyone notice Mo's lame comment about her mom and dad meeting at a football game?
Ummm, yeah...so aren't they divorced? Way to go Mo...
Who's the English teacher.....give her a break.
I noticed the family comments from Mo's step mom. This show ruins the meaning of family...hello?! You're sitting in a home with your new husband's first wife's daughter...oh my. I know families can break up and reform and be wonderful but give me a break, lady.
Is anyone else thinking that Fabrice (from the Jen S. Bachelorette days) was waiting outside the McMansion to party with our favorite female Stoner now that she has been released. I mean seriously, their in Paris and an ABC intern can't find Fabrice? Now that would make for some great television.
okay, being a chic and all, i HAVE to know where the magic boobs came from! is there some kind of new bra on the market that i'm unaware of? quick, fill me in! i, too, want the magic boobs!
HEY ALL - I just realized how we will all know Lincee when we watch the Tell All show. She will be the one laughing so loud with friend and sis on each side trying to calm her. However, they will be laughing equally as hard from what Lincee has been saying under her breath during taping! (If we only had the privilege of hearing those comments first hand)
Seriously, have a great and safe time on your trip. We look forward to your next recaps...when all is legal for you to share.
Straight guy #3 you are my hero, next to Lincee of course!! Glad to hear you are an Auburn grad...me too. War Eagle!
i want you to know lincee, that the only reason i'm currently watching the bachelor is so that i can laugh at your recap on tuesday! i personally think the remaining girls stink and i hope he doesn't pick any of them! run for your life, dr. mchottie! (who by the way, is getting more "opie-like" by the week! i'm thinking dr. mc-opie is more appropriate. oh, and btw, did he actually have a woody in that scene with mowana on the beach?!
Did anyone else notice this comment at the very end of the preview for next week? "The ladies will have to make the BIGGEST DECISION OF THEIR LIVES ---- whether or not to accept the key to the fantasy suite!!"
I was seriously laughing out loud for a good couple of minutes over that one. If that's the biggest decision of their lives, they have some issues goin on there!
I can't remember if it was mentioned on this board or not...but did anyone else think that Nashville's mom looked like Kathy Bates???
Quick question: Is next week's the Women tell All or the overnight dates episode??
Lincee, great recap as always. Good luck in LA and definitely bring your notepad and camera in case any catfights break out!! Congrats on going. We are so proud of you.
I'm thinking next week that Susan and Mo stay in the "Fantasy Suite" with him, and Nashville forgoes.
anonymous 3:59: Next week is the overnight episode...
Response to 3:57pm - YES, I'm surprised by some of these parents of the girls. Many of them do not even resemble the girls in the slightest, and others are just plain clueless parents! It's like they're not aware that they're on national TV. Of course, I'm not sure how my parents would react if I brought home someone for them to meet whom I had met on TV. P.S. That home would be Cary, NC, just a few miles from the bridge that Susan stood on in the Duke Gardens!
Thoughts on next week: I think for Nashville to pump her game, she will need to stay in the fantasy suite, to overcome her currently somehwat weak romantic chemistry with Travis. However, I predict that Nashville MAY be the ultimate winner. I think that he will see the light with Susan and it will be between Nashville and Mo.Thoughts...???
How do you find Mowana's MySpace.com site?
I am glad someone else saw it! I didn't think any of them resembled their parents at all! Not to mention how completely mortifyied I would be if my parents acted like some of their's (yes, susan's mom I am looking at you...)
Let's leave the comedy to the comedians like Lincee! Some people think they are funny and they are not...and we certainly don't need any spelling or grammar lessons here. You just don't get it. do you? Anyone else besides me think this was better when the only comments we had were Lincee's? The idiotss ALWAYS spoil the fun!
Lincee, please give us a heads up to let us pick you out in the crowd at the "Women Tell All" special. Thanks!
Lincee...i really "appreciate" you posting these comments and I really "appreciate" all the fun times. gag me...how many times can one person say "appreciate" in one evening??
On Parents: I think that Nashville's family was definitely southern and resembled her in looks. And Stoner's mom and Stoner looked a little alike. What about Stoner's dad? Maybe came from a broken home?? There was no talk of her father...
susan's mom looked like the boy on the Dutch Boy Paints can. And Nashville's mom DID indeed look like Cathy Bates. Get the dewlap removed, OR liposuctioned for heaven's sake! It can't cost that much!
Did anyone see the Dateline special on MySpace.com? It's getting major publicity for the potential dangers it causes with perverts and predators getting information on young kids...it's the first time I've heard of that website.
Personally, I like "under minds" better. It actually makes more sense. I think we should introduce it to Webster.
And back off, peeps! Miss Lincee's busting her rump all day in her pink hard hat, and she squeezes out just enough time to put together an entertaining recap and we spend time correcting her grammar? Please!
And, yes, I am aware that that was a run-on sentence. :)
Anonymous 3:53 - I too noticed the "biggest decision of their lives comment" and also thought that was a little sad.
I can name three bigger decisions right here:
Moana needs to decide to take that Lexapro from Lincee or melt away into oblivion, Susan needs to decide if she's happy living life as a golddigger or if she needs to acquire some sort of shelter on her own, and Nashville needs to decide to cut the umbilical cord strapping her to her parents or get a bigger apartment so they can all move in together.
To Anonymous 4:09pm.. or how many times can he say "amazing" and "connection" or "amazing connection" can't he find another word??
"susan's mom looked like the boy on the Dutch Boy Paints can"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Too funny.
Did anyone else notice last night that when it showed Stoner Sarah crying at the end that it was really close to her face? If you looked closely, it was the Farrah Fawcett hair from last week. Also, she was wearing layered necklaces, as she was at last week's rose ceremoney and not this week's. She was probably glad to go this week!
go to myspace.com and search moana marie
you'll see it there
The magic boobs totally trip me out. I mean where were those suckers hiding in the beginning? How could we have all missed them for that long? Maybe McStork the Dork is doing a little plastic surgery on the side. We'll have to see if Loco Lucci's grow between now and the next episode!
Good luck in LA!! Great recap!
You know, I have a guy that lives a half mile from my house. He scratches his butt while walking around in his tightey whiteys...
I dont think its gonna be a no-brainer connection with us.
Ever.
I am thinking that BFF Chris will let her walk up to the mike and ask a question. She is his guest...
great job lincee-every week it just keeps getting better...
i'm so excited for the overnite dates...
have a great time in la!!!!
and if you find out anything about where we can find our own magic boobs please let us know!
okay...raise your hand if you think he's gonna actually marry any of these girls? *crickets...crickets*
i think we have another dud bachelor season. he just doesn't seem that into any of them. just going through the motions now. and i agree with whoever said that nash will not use the "spend the night" key. she's kind of a goody.
thanks again lincee for a great recap. totally worth the wait!
Nashville's mom definitely looked like Kathy Bates!
4:16 PM,
I looked up moana marie and some girl's picture came up who can't be "our" moana! I tried Mowana marie but that didn't work. Maybe I'm doing something wrong. Thank you anyway!
I think McHottie screwed himself...I think the three remaining are all worthless! I liked Canada and her magic boobies...I'm pissed she's gone..not just because I enjoyed seeing her last night...who am I kidding that's the only reason!
Well, my girl, you did not disappoint. Your recap this week was over the top hilarious as usual. Thank you for the side spitting laughs.
Do have the best time in LA and PLEASE figure out a way to i.d. yourself. If you don't do it for anyone else, do it for me,
your truest and best #1 fan!
Did anyone notice on 'scenes for next week' when it shows Dr. Stork and Susan talking and he says hes concerned about her motives? I caught you ABC, trying to make us think its over between the Doc and the wanna be actress...but then they slip in the hot tub scene with the two of them, so I guess she 'acted' her way out of it..? Susan if he picks you either you deserve an Emmy or he deserves a kick in the ass.
Doc Travis will either walk away from the whole gig or give Sarah a right-hand ring to wear until he comes back from the mountains after tracking grizzly bears. He'll be missing some limbs, of course, but he can get some new ones on the DiscoveryHealth channel. He will go down on the remaining knee and propose to Sarah that they retire to a little cabin on Brokeback where he will herd sheep and she will make goat cheese to sell at Whole Foods. She will be the only one who comes down off Brokeback once in awhile - got to make a living selling that cheese. All this for the cheesiest show on ABC!
An update from Overland Park, KS... Susan definitely is not in the top two. My friend works with her, and "Financial Analyst" is quite the exageration of her real job. (Surprise, Surprise!!)
I believe she landed in Kansas City after she broke-off her engagement (sorry - no dirt on that!), and is living with a friend until they move to Hollywood.
Does anyone remember all the Hot Tubs that used to be in every episode of the bach? Seriously, every girl was in a suit at one time...just when you think your safe from the boiling water, they show us a scene from next week...looks like Dr. Stork and Wannabe Actress get in on in the ol' hot tub...GROSS
THE BEST POST EVER!! LINCEE ROCKS!! I love the whole thing. Especially Moana's death grip. classic.
Lincee, do you think Chris will introduce you at the show? He should considering they have 65,000 viewers who are only watching their cheesy show because of your re-caps! Cheers to Lincee, heck ABC might even offer you a job! Give the intern a high-five from all of us, that poor person has seen and done things none of us would want to!
Do we really need to spend time insulting the parents? I mean, they are forced to take part in this awkward situation, I think they're probably doing the best they can. Maybe some of them are nuts, maybe they're not all model quality, but how would we all feel if someone took a 10 second clip from the most ridiculous part of Thanksgiving dinner and put it on TV. The girls made a choice to be on the bachelor, let's keep our criticism to them.
I agree with 456pm...although funny to poke fun at the families, their daughters are the ones who signed up for this crap. And lets not forget the editing genius of ABC, they purposefully make those families look horrible and/or fabulous. But...when it comes to Susan's family, I really don't think any of them like her. Sad really, no wonder she wants to pretend to be someone else for a living!
Lincee -
Great recap - as always!!!! It cracks me up how the straight guys identify themselves. Did you all have a meeting and assign numbers?? LOL!
Mowana's video message - geez she went right to the ugly cry didn't she??? I agree, McHottie picked her 'cause couldn't risk a major meltdown. He knew Stoner'd just light up in the limo and mellow out.
Nashville needs to branch out a bit. He said he wants to move to the mountains - not Siberia for God's sake!!!
Susan...don't like her. Not a bit.
I'm very excited to see you and BFF Chris on the Women Tell All. Make sure you check his tie before he gets in front of the camera.
I'm so glad you're being rewarding in a small way for all the entertainment you've given us.
Best of luck and safe travels!!
Or make that "rewarded" for the grammar police. ;)
4:33p-
just go to this
http://www.myspace.com/moanamarie
you were searching in the "name" or "display name" field, instead of the top one with the myspace drop down menu
Good luck in LA! That Doogie Howser comment was classic. As are most of the rest of them! Have fun!!!
Big fan of Sarah from Canada. This is how a rank em:
Sarah: Hot, a little young but very hot.
Nashville: A litte goodie goodie.
Susan: Hot, but a goldigger
Moana: Crazy dirty whore.
Big Mistake on getting rid of Sarah. However, on the overnight date he will finally see Moana's back tatoo in all it's glory. There is no question she has one and no question he will get to see it.
I don't know about anyone else, but Travis is losing credibility fast.
Good call on not going to his ER, Lincee. I'm pretty sure he got into med school because he had a connection with a lady on the entrance interview panel.
And good call on his bobble head.
I realize that Stoner was too immature for McHottie, but I really do think that she would be the lesser evil. I guess Nashville will have to do, because soon-to-be-the-new-Carly-on-General-Hospital and Mo-wanna-take-an-Ativan are inevitable future contributors to the Bachelor's bad track record of relationship longetivity.
Lincee--I've had pneumonia for the last three weeks, so honestly your highlights have been the highlight of my quarantined life. So thanks.
Have fun in LA. Take a bucket. A big one.
What was up with the pink and purple walls in Travis's house?!?!?
As a Duke alum (2 years ahead of Travis...knew him through mutual friends) I just have to comment on his sly "Are you allowed to kiss in Duke Gardens?" comment. Kissing in the Gardens is nothing. Anyone who went to Duke can tell you that one of our "unofficial" graduation requirements was to have sex in Duke Gardens (lots of crowded bushes on graduation weekend). I think Travis may have been looking to complete his graduation requirements 10 years late.
Now that magic boobs is gone, I have lost some interest. Your recap is the only thing that is keeping me watching next week :)
Side note: Did anyone else want to puke when Nashville kissed McHottie? It was like watching him kiss his sister. Next week is going to KILL me if they "sleep" in the same room. I don't even want to imagine that!!!
Lincee, you make The Bachelor recaps better than the show itself.
Keep it goin'!
I think Mo said she'd "give herself to McH because he'd be careful." I get the feeling she's a virgin (note the christian family that almost executed McH for being presby). Oy Vey, Mo. I've got some extra Effexor and Tracedone here if the Lexapro from Lincee doesn't work out for you.
Glad you called out Showtime Susan. Guess the ABC intern was decorating the Pottery barn dresser for the Rose ceremony and not there to tell her to stop looking at the camera and 'act' natural.
i went to the Men tell all from Jen Scheft's season, it's life changing. I am pretty sure everyone in the audience gets on the episode. You'll have to tell us what you're wearing so we can look out for you!! woohoooo~!! - also, i think mcHottie should get his cheek implants removed...
to all the people who say...
"I would pay to read your stuff."
Screw You!
No one PAYS to read a blog and quit saying that because some people couldn't afford it if you did have to pay. So stop saying that you idiots. Just complement Lincee with other means. Be creative and original but leave the cash out of it. k?
Is it just me or were Mowana's parents and STEP MOTHER at dinner - and the lady was crying about marriage being sacred???
Sara Nashville and Travis's kiss may be second only to Liza Minelli and David Gest as the most passion-less kiss on record!!
Love you, Lincee!!
Could somebody please explain to me A) How did Lincee get to talk to Chris Harrison? B) Is she really going to meet him and why and what are they going to do? C) How the heck did I miss all of this action...I swear I read every word of the blog?
Did any of you see Stoner Sarah's crazy hair after the rose ceremony when she was confessing that everything "sucked"? It was very messy.
Leigh, I have been upstairs reading your cap and m-board for an hour and neglecting grading papers for school tomorrow. Couldn't help myself--Wait, hold up--did I misspell a word or make a grammatical error or some kind of wrong word? I may have even tho I passed that darn TCAT test 18 years ago. Love your recap. You make me proud! Mummy
Hey 7:41 Anonymous...
If I promise to buy you a copy of anything Lincee *may* publish or have for sale in the future would you calm down a bit?
Dear 8:30-
This is from the Episode 4 recap blog...I copied and pasted here...
Lincee said...
Easy people. Easy.
I can understand why some would believe that I am not serious about going to the show.
Long story very short:
Chris posted. We all laughed. He emailed. I didn't believe. I asked for proof. We talked on the phone. I asked several questions. He answered. He invited. I accepted. I'm going.
If not him, I plan on having fun in LA and will have great material for the next recap on how I was PUNK'D!
Don't know what I'm wearing yet. Will let you know. Or not.
FYI: DP is indeed Dr Pepper. Anything diet makes me gag.
You guys are cracking me smooth up with your comments. Still love my lawyer and straight guys with wives.
5:55 PM
Lincee, you rock, as always! Thanks for all you do!
I wish we had met when you lived in Dallas. (Been a "long time 'listener' too") Hope all goes well for you in H-town. Remember your THOUSANDS of little people when you are rich and famous and a household name! :) Have a "ridiculously" fabulous time in LA. You totally deserve it!
Jen in Dallas
Did anyone notice that MO-Wanna's step-mom was talking about the sanctity of marriage, BUT she obviously didn't care that her husband didn't believe in it as he has been married before to MO-Wanna's mom? And that woman didn't speak at all?
You never differenciate between husband Chris and host Chris anymore?
Whomever said that Mowana was a virgin is INSANE!! That tramp stamp on her back SCREAMS out that she is definitely NOT a virgin!!
My votes for Sarah. She's the lesser of 3 evils.
I can't believe I just read all this crap. We all wish we could be as clever as Lincee but it just ain't so. My daughter's 5th grade teacher gets her hair cut by Travis' sister's mother-in-law. It's a small world. Hey, people quit saying you want to be Lincee's friend. You just shouldn't meet up with people you meet online.
Did anyone else notice what Travis said when Sarah's parents were coming to dinner? He said something like, "It'll be great... we'll just be BBQing and MY DOG WILL BE HANGIN OUT". For some reason that cracked me up!!!
I have a slight obsession with feet and McHotties looked like they belonged on an orangutan. Anyone else notice that?
Topic: Why the Bachelor brings us right back to our high school cafeteria table - commentary on who is dating whom, whose haircut looks horrible, why she/he is in it for the 'wrong' reasons and can you believe what so-and-so did in Chemistry class (<-- substitute 'in the chateau') ????
Discuss amongst yourselves.
SO glad we have this opportunity because I missed h.s. SO much. oh wait - no I didn't. I enjoy this so much better. We all get to say everything we want with NO FEAR of having to take our own medicine !!!! whew. what a revelation. someone get me some Internet Blog stock.
p.s. Can we all agree to at least peruse previous comments so that we don't have to slog through 8 of the same ones ? YES Stoner Sarah's hair looked bad - but let's move beyond that... perhaps to the overanalysis of Womoana's (HA HA that was FUNNY) familial situation. I think we need more CA detective work. Someone go find out what happened there and how in the world Ms. Glass-House-2nd-Wife-Family-Breaker-Upper(?) feels the need to throw stones at McHottie who didn't even want to be on the show to begin with - but not at her step-daughter. and on live TV. maybe we could get her to do a guest appearance. someone work on that.
last note: editing. how fun would it be to be an editor for the Bachelor ? We all know the Bachelor audience is Playdough in your hands.
fwiw it's undermines not 'under minds'.
Wanna Moana?
No?
Me neither.
Lois the Longhorn, THANK you for calling out that "tramp stamp" comment. Jeez. Some people. I thought the same thing last week when Moana's "tramp stamp" was mentioned the first time. What a stupid and derogatory term and concept.
But you said it much better than I.
i love how mo's step mom is disgusted by the outright disrespect the show has for Marriage when someone forgot to remind her that she is a step mom.
moana also shared that her father is a great judge of character but has been married twice
Wow, 7:41. Don't be ugly. Chiiiillllll.
Remember...this is a happy place...polka dots, happy, all in good fun.
I couldn't agree more that 'Tramp Stamp' was a rude and uncalled for comment. But that doesn't change the fact that they are tacky and class-less...sorry, but young ladies contemplating such a stupid decision need to know how most of the real world views them.
Lincee...have a blast in tinsel town!
Some of you people need to chill. These people have gone on national T.V. and are therefore subject to anything anyone wants to say about hair, tatoos, makeup, kissing, feet, etc. This is a blog (in the comments section, mind you )where people are free to say what they want.
Isn't this the whole point of Bachelor recaps?
Way to go Lincee!! Great recap!
Good luck in L.A.!!!
HA!!!!!
i'm cracking up at the tatoo chicks! defensive much?
Lincee,
Thanks for another great one! Have so much fun in LA! You are the best!
And to whoever (or whomever - dang grammar police!) suggested the 'Lincee Fan Club Road Show' - I think thats the best idea I've heard all day! A Lincee Convention - wish I would've thought of that! Sign me up!
Everyone have a great day!!!!
I think they should have a new twist this year.....let McHottie chose one chick he dismissed come back so they could "see if there is a reconnection"!
My vote is for COLE!
lois the t-sip,
no one is calling you or anyone else who has a tatoo a tramp, but having a "tramp stamp" doesn't exactly scream you're a regular at the first baptist church either (even though you might be...). just CHILL and be comfortable with your decision to get a tatoo. i've got one too, and it's going to be okay. (deep breathing)
anybody else that myspace-stalked moana see that her "released" blog had a comment from a friend a/b "letting go of T"??? and it was posted this week.
Thanks Lincee for another great recap...simply hilarious!
Good Luck at the show!!
Looking forward to reading that one...when you're "allowed" to comment on it.
Have a fun and safe trip!
Hi Kids, it’s your friendly neighborhood Grammar Policewoman. It’s time to hit the breaks on bad English.
1. Who vs. Whom: if you can substitute “him” instead of whom, then you’ve got the right one. It’s a little thing we like to call an objective pronoun. A nominative pronoun, like who, is appropriate when the pronoun is the subject of a sentence, phrase, or clause.
2. Threw vs. through. About which one to use with the phrase “under the bus,” please just think this one threw...errr...I mean.... Homonyms just don’t cut it when they appear in writing. The same goes for to/too/two and there/their/they’re.
3. Undermine: (transitive verb) to subvert or weaken insidiously or secretly.
4. Under mind: no one really knows.
Thanks for participating in today’s lesson; I hope this information helps. Lincee rocks and what’s with Moana’s HUGE hair at the rose ceremony?!
In the words of Charlie Brown....good grief!!
Someone should tell Nashville's Mom that the Dr shows on TV are NOT Reality! ER Doc's generally work 12 hours on and then they are yours. No calls in the middle of the night waking you up multiple times....yes they may have rotation over the weekend...but then they are off during the week. There is a life, and "Gray's" isn't it.
Straight Lawyer John....you make me laugh.....not as much as Lincee...but you are funny
Straight Lawyer John,
When DO you have time to work? :)
Lincee:
GOOD LUCK IN HOLLYWOOD!!!! Your 15 minutes are just beginning! You should wear your pink hard hat to the Tell All!! :)
This is just pitiful. This is supposed to be a place where people state their opinions. Some people are so sensitive that they forget these are just opinions. Have conviction in your decisions and don't be so stinking insecure folks! Tattoo folks- get a grip!
Maybe you don't like blondes? Or how about hating blue eyes? Its ok to have an opinion. Our world is made of a bunch of PC "ninnies" and that is why the quality of people has declined so much in our generation and the majority of men have become gay! Lincee is an inspiration because she doesn't do what is PC and people respect her for it. Don't ruin the blog board by being whiny!
Did anyone else notice the ABC intern driving them around? ABC has never showed the driver before (or at least not that I have noticed)! How funny-we had a glimpse of what she looked like!
http://s15.invisionfree.com/
The_Bachelor_Recaps/index.php
Don't forget, you can go to the link above to keep up with the conversation in an easier format than the comments page. There's also a link on the left side of the blog.
Enjoy!
10:26...can you please speak to my stepdaughter about opinions? She can't take them.
I second your entire comment.
LIncee - Have a GREAT time in LA! Will be thinking about you out there this weekend! Hope that Chris Harrison at least offers you a free dinner or something!! Soak it all in and can't wait for the next update!
Hey Tramp Stampers....That term has been around forever..and you knew that when you decided to get the bullseye didn't you? There is a reason strippers, etc have these in that location. If you somehow missed what the rest of the world knows, then crawl out from under the rock already!
Wow - I've been reading the comments for several weeks now, and I've got say some of you guys have gone from being funny to just down right mean.... come on, how would you guys do in front of a camera 24/7. Maybe Mr. McHottie's not Mr. Personality "I'm On" all the time and I think because Sarah from Nashville is just so normal she may come off 'non-exciting' - especially compared to Lucci-want-to-be-Susan and Mo-whatever-she's-up-to, but come on... there's no need to get ugly - this supposed to fun -
And I just can't help but comment on some of these folks who want to now be Lincee's best friend and feel they have a 'connection' with her - I've been reading Lincee's recaps for several seasons, and Lincee - "Run, girlfriend, I'm thinkin' you may have some potential stalkers out there!"
I'm just saying.....
You should also make a point to stop by Fred Segal. There will be celebs shopping there for sure. We also saw Denise Richards and Matthew LeBlanc at The Ivy (not together) when we went for dinner. On a side note...I feel like Susan should be on that cheesey soap opera "Passions". She seems like she's just a little too camera-ready with her arsenal of adjectives and carefully constructed sentences. I think this season will be a wash. I think in the end we'll all want him to pick Nashville, but he's going to pick Moana, only because she'll move to the freaking mountains with him.
-Texas loves ya!
I like Moana's hair, Nashville, tatoos and english lessons. Does that make me a bad person?
I think not.
Again, nobody is saying that you are a bad person. I love that you have an opinion. Just be secure with it! Own it girl!
I love English lessons!! They're great!! I'm glad I'm not alone.
C'mon, Lincee...you and he could follow the big cat pawprints down the road to the high school - are those still there?
Or better yet - since he's so outdoorsy - search for the gators in Caddo Lake or hike in the Sabine bottoms...
Too bad Romero's Christmas Wonderland went away years ago - 'cause the home dates times might have been at the right time to walk through that wonderland - now you'd have to settle for walking around the square in Marshall...they might light it up for ABC at any time of the year to make it purty for the world to see.
Love your site - keep on' typin' and have a blast in LALA Land.
Do y'all think they're going to use someone from this show as the next bachelorette? If so, who?
Someone earlier suggested Rotten Eggs, but that'd be a little too intense, I think. All the men would be leaving video messages crying (real tears) wanting to be sent home!!
Did I miss something here? Was it "Please skip YOUR little blue pill day" yesterday and apparently today? WOW!
Little friendly reminder - A. You are on a blog about reality TV, even better The Bachelor. B. You are all taken the fun out of the blog that is supposed to lighten everyone's day (right?) & make us laugh laugh laugh. -Well, yes I think I am right since we have Straight Lawyer John, stroller moms and Straight Guy 1-20 on here.
Last I checked, not a space for the grammar, spelling police or any other outrageous responses (like tramp stamp uproar). Have any of you girls [who, by the way, I really wouldn't want to know] taken a step back to see what the other part of the world (the one that is NOT in yours) might think of you?
Tid bit, may be a good idea next time you go to post.
Keepin' it real.
I agree straight lawyer John! This site is all about Lincee's comical recaps...let's have fun...and leave the real business to the BFF!
I also agree on the comment made about Dr. McDork...no wonder why he needed to go on national television to look for "love"...if that's what we're calling it.
Straight Lawyer John: "This is good fun and the people here are good people-have fun and laugh a bit. Let Lincee and BFF police the site-self appointed cop anonymous blogger's attempting to censor others are tiresome to the max." What the h*ll are you trying to say there? I am not saying that correct punctuation is crucial, but can you use it just enough to ensure we know what you are TRYING to say and not just let the sentence go on and on and on? I am not even sure who you are criticizing.
Straight Lawyer John,
I almost peed my pants when you said "to the max".....i'm still crying. I'm not sure why its so funny. I just got this mental picture of you sitting in your fancy 'lawyer' chair at your computer, blogging...'to the max'....you make me giggle.
Silly Lawyer! What kind of lawyer are you anyway? Do you use your powers for good or evil?? Hmmm?
I wish all of the 'anonymous' one's would come out of hiding.....come on, come out of hiding little anonymouses......
Y'all, this is really funny. We are here to share our common love for ridiculous shows such as the bachelor, and y'all are being critical of one another for typing errors. Who cares!
Oh, and I have a crush on straight lawyer john!
enuf abowt tiping pepole!!! hoo kairz?
don't be hatin' on lawyer john!
2:34...
it's time for your nap.
It's time for EVERYONE to take a nap -
Back to the blog at hand:
Next Bachelorette? Go.
TTF Lincee. Make us proud in LA!
topic: next bachelorette...
I am going with Sarah from Canada...hear me out. She was real and fun and seemed to have a good family. I think it would be fun to watch. Moana would be WAY too intense and Susan would be WAY too scripted.
Straight Lawyer John you make me laugh out loud! Actually, you and the other Straight Guys 1 - whatever (I have lost count) all do!
Once upon a time I was hooked to the show. Then I was hooked to the show and the recaps. Now I'm just hooked to the recaps.
What's more....it's becoming more fun to dish about the recaps than it is to dish about the show itself.
Thanks for making Tuesdays excellent Lincee!!!!!
I vote for Sarah S if she doesn't 'win' this round. I think there is a lot more spunk we aren't seeing
Solution for McHottie if he decides to choose Sarah. Chattanooga, just an hour and a half south of Nashville, has some of the best rock climbing and white water kayaking in the country. He gets to stay in the South with the "friendly" people and Sarah gets to stay close to the fam. Don't really care that much...just wanted to advertise my great city a little bit.
How many more seasons until they premiere "Brokeback Bachelor" the most amazing season ever!!! Nothing but gay men fighting for one really awesome gay man. I bet the hometown dates might be a little uncomfortable in certain cases. Let's face it though...this concept would never work because the guys in the house would just hook up with each other and no one would care about the guy who wasn't even living in the house. At any rate...who do we even root for at this point in this season? I don't think I like any of them. I don't think he does either. Has anyone noticed that the Bachelorette has a much better success rate...?
Well if it is of any important to you, there is a guy/girl (probably the miracualous ABC intern) that has "predicted" the entire season of who will stay and who will go and where every date will be and who it will be with. The post went up the first week of January and so far, this person hasn't missed one detail and has been absolutely correct. I will be more than willing to pass it on, but don't know if that is consiered "spoiling" the show.
ok...i'm still crying from anonyous 2:49's comment "time for your nap." classic.
secondly...my name is amy from tn...and i'm anonymous no longer.
is it really only wednesday? lincee...i hope you have time to respond again before the next show. as funny as the straight trio and lawyerjohn who i have an blog-crush on)are...nothing takes the place of you. seriously.
About the parents--
It is one thing to make fun of how they act, but quite another to make fun of how they look. Most of these parents are in their 50's+.
Give them a break.
Thank you, Lincee, for not focussing how they looked. You are right, Nashville's dad was precious. At first I thought he was being rude, but then I realized he was just nervous-- poor guy.
Shout out to chill out - I'm howling.
ok...so i made some spelling and grammatical errors my first time out with a identity.
newman!
First time poster here.
Another staight guy sucked in to the show by his wife, and then ultimately sucked into this blog. I guess the worst part is that I enjoy it way more than I thought I would!! Lincee, great reading, great jokes, great everything! I just spent the last two hours at work catching up on every episode.
So thanks in advance if I get fired.
aN identity!
man!!!!
i am so trying here!
LINCEE!!!!!
Finally, you, or BFF #2 Paul, posted a picture for all the world (or at least a whole dang football stadium) to see!
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
You are absolutely gorgeous Lincee. I just knew you were. So, with all that talent and those gorgeous looks, we will look for you in some capacity after your visit to LA. Have the time of your life and recap the fool out of it when you get home. You'll be too busy to bother when you are actually in LA I am sure. ;-)
I remain lovingly,
Lincee's #1 fan
You are a riot!
Totally love that you are from Houston. My good friend just moved there, from California, and I was a little worried, but knowing you are there, gives me piece of mind...
Have a blast in La La land. Be sure to shop on montana & robertson - two of my favorite shopping streets.
3:57 Anon - OMG.
Brokeback Bachelor
Hilarious!
Though I'm not sure even Lincee couldn't get the straight guys to tune in. :)
Nice to meet you! Your friends in the pic look like real charmers!!! You have good taste!
grrrr
"couldn't" should be "could".
You grammar police have got me all sorts of nervous.
I've always been a bit behind on trying new things, so have to admit that this is the first blog I've ever visited. Have loved every episode recap and am impressed by your ever-growing fan club! Have fun in LA! If you can't wear your pink hardhat, please wear pink so we can look for you. Speaking of pink .... check out Pink's Hot Dogs while you're in Hollywood (hot dog to the stars!) or make a visit to Philippe's -- the home of the french dip sandwich (kind of ties in with the whole Bachelor Paris thing). Enjoy!
Ok anonymouse at 8:36...
I don't see why anyone would take offense to the "tramp stamp" comment
but I absolutely take offense to the "t-sip" remark.
Do they let aggies on this site?
LOL
Lincee - you are the BEST thing that has ever happened to The Bachelor. You and I see eye to eye and you totally crack me up!!
thanks for the wonderful commentary.
You're going to have so much fun out here! You have to go to lunch at The Ivy...weather is going to be perfect! Thanks again for all the laughs over the past couple years!
J from KS... for such a grammar policewoman, you should pay attention to the proper use of break vs. brake.
5:06 ha ha...
Holla to all the other Ags!!
Gig'Em!
Great, we've gone from tramp stamp revolution, grammar police-to now hollering out to the aggies...ya'll are cracking me up!
You must go visit the new forum, it is soooo much easier than scrolling down this page all the dang darn day! BFF#2 set it up great, and Lincee has made her appearance there too! So, ya'll move on over and do some posting there too. Trust me. You'll like it!
http://s15.invisionfree.com/
The_Bachelor_Recaps/index.php
Oh, and before I go...Go Horns!
Sorry if this has already been posted, but looks like ABC is hard up for any off us to be in the audience at Girls Tell taping.....this on bachelor home page abc.go.com
Bachelor Fans Needed!
Attention Bachelor fans! If you live in the Los Angeles area, you can be part of the audience for the "Women Tell All" special taping Saturday, February 11th. For information call the audience hotline at 818-972-7071.
I say we get a Winnabago, digital cameras, bunch a booze and tape our own reality show as we caraban to Hollywood...."ABC presents 'The Lincee Quest'!"
You mean "Hook 'Em Horns"
It's Anon 8:23 pm again, sorry for the typos....trying to type with 7 month old on my lap....don't want the wrath of the homonym and spellcheck police....I am aware of my mistakes!
Anyway, who's in for the Road Rules quest to meet Lincee in Hollywood!? We can stop by the American Idol auditions as well... "Your going to Hollywood, dawg!"
Count me in the roadtrip to LA!
Lincee's # 1 fan
It's taken me a couple of days to finally sort this out, so let's see what YOU think:
First, we have.....
Susan: Pretty girl, very recently out of an engagement (like, less than a year ago), whose own parents 1) think her motives are suspect; 2) say she's moving too fast; and 3) must be utterly mortified to have heard their spawn use the term "smitten kitten" in public. In short, a mess in a dress.
Then we have.....
Tennessarah: Attractive, nice eyes (albeit a bit like a deer caught, etc.), who LOVES her family, LOVES her job, LOVES Nashville, but seems shocked, SHOCKED, that McHottie might actually want to pick up and go -- someplace else. What if the Bachelor had come from say, Seattle? How was she planning to handle that? And let's not overlook the curiously chaste and almost-fraternal relationship she and McHottie have. Not that they should be swapping spit already, but their affection and physical contact seems creepily incestuous -- not to mention the lack of "that light" that shines when he's been in the company of others.
And finally.....
Moaner. Frankly, this girl gives me the willies with all the crying and the intense expressions of feeling for McHottie. Have you noticed that the waterworks start whenever she gets fired up about what she feels -- whether she's happy or angry? Mind you, I don't hold the whole poison house against her -- I remember junior high very well -- but she so far has "played" roles, either the distant "I don't care" or the "I'm above it all" or the one that really bugs the crap out of me: the coy "I guess...ha ha ha" answer when asked to accept a rose. It was questionable the first time, and now it's absurdly juvenile.
Ok, there you have it. I don't know about you, but I find it hard to fathom that these three are even remotely the finalists. Indeed, I'm horrified to admit that Rotten Eggs might have been right about the group, and about him. Yikes!
5:48 anon:
It's called a pun. But thanks for looking out.
I'm still amazed Mo's handywork didn't include a rabbit boiling on the stove during Dr. Mc's hometown date w/ Sarah Nashville.
Also, it made me laugh that my cousin wondered if the "Magic Boobs" might be a product of the love child created in tent on the camping/huge tongue date.
Can't wait till next Tuesday!
HI-LAR-IOUS! I always look forward to reading your recaps! Good luck in LA- hope you get the chance to ask a question. thanks for keeping us all up to date!
Mo's a freak, but she has GREAT eyebrows.
So, I like the recap of the episode, but it seems as though you missed one VERY intense moment when McHottie was with Nashville...Did anyone notice during that faithful visit to the park that McHottie emitted a questionable noise right after showering Nashville with compliments? Best description you ask?...He was so caught up in the intensity of the amazing-ness of the date he let out nothing short of an amazing --- moo. Yes, cow-like mooing, it seems as though even the editors think of him as more of a dairy cow than a stud. If you Tivo'd it, I suggest going back to that moment...it can provide plenty of laughs...:o)
Hey Linceeeeeee.....keep up the great work, and which one are you in the picture?? thanks!
Lincee, I'm so glad you're blonde! You represent us well!
Good things about this blog....
1)Lincee is appreciated by more people
2)Lincee gets a trip to LA and to meet BFF #1 Chris H
3) BFF#2 Paul's talents are appreciated by many
Bad things about this blog...
1)Stalkers
2)people who do not appreciate Lincee's humor and grammatically correct her!
3)Those who are negative and voice it so angrily
To those who took offense to the 'tramp stamp' comment: I had never heard the term before and mentioned in a comment that I "loved it". Well, I still think it appropriate to the stamp, not the person, but I should keep that to myself. Therefore, I apologize for jumping on the 'bandwagon' and blog-voicing that.
To Lincee, I still love your humor, but will stick with YOUR comments on the episodes and not the comments of your readers. I too have joined ranks with the fan who enjoyed it more when you were simply an email. I am just glad that you got a trip to LA from going national....world-wide!
Have a great trip.
A Baylor Pi Phi
Hello Lincee,
I am a friend of a friend from Austin. A couple of my friends and I always watch the show together, and I have even suckered my husband and his friends into joining (thanks to your recaps). I am so glad that you take the time to write this blog. It is something I look forward to every week, and you do truly have a gift. Here's my two cents: moana is unstable, Susan is a faker, and TN has no personality (that we can see yet)... I'm hedging my bets on the southern belle. Thanks again Lincee, you're the best!
Ok, I am quite secure with the fact that I may be an idiot, but how is it that I am on this site, but when I go to Lincee's message board, I can't see any of this? Where is this site I am on? How did I get here?
HELP!
Lost in the Lincee abyss.
Thank you anonymous at 2:27pm!!! My husband and I both looked at each other at the same time and commented how it had gone from - "Nashville!! We're neighbors!!" to the same area...to a half a mile...to a block away!!! I love the living in the basement comment!! That's next when they don't officially get engaged, but just decide that he should move in downstairs...
I don't think Dr McH should choose any of the bachlorettes. Susan's using him to be an actress, he will ask Nashville to "just be friends" because there's no chemistry there, and he is just looking for trouble if he picks Mo. If he was smart, he'd head for the mountains now and hide out.
OK I like your column but the way you throw out your website hits every other paragraph is annoying. Maybe having a blog is the best thing that ever happened to you, I don't know, but you mentioned your hits 3 times in this weeks column. Good for you, but also...shut up. Its just a blog. It's not the same as 80000 people paying money to see you in concert or buying a book you wrote or a cd you sang.
2:41, that totally crosses the line. You're fired. For real.
Post a Comment