Well, I made it back in one piece. Quick shout out to all my rig peeps in the Rocky Mountains. Although my friends in North Dakota are just now discovering karaoke (which they pronounce Kah-roe-key) and I’m going to go out on a limb and say they have no clue that I write a blog…let alone what a blog is. But I love them anyway! Oh yah!
Another big shout out to Blair. She approached me at church on Sunday as we were leaving asking if I was “Lincee who writes the recap.” I was excited to talk to someone about the upcoming episode, but somehow we lost each other and nothing was mentioned more than a hello. Blair…find me on Sunday. We’ll discuss. I’ll meet you by the popcorn counter. (We meet in a movie theater. My church is so hip.)
Thanks to the well wishes for the ginormous knee issues I’m experiencing. I have the sweetest strangers posting on my site!
And finally, can someone please tell me why “Defying Gravity” from the hit Broadway musical Wicked will NOT stop playing in my head? Sure I have dreams of flying high above an audience, my face painted green, and screaming to the top of my lungs that no one will ever bring me down, but I had dreams of being a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader too. Look how that turned out.
The word you are looking for is…
Anyway…
SIMPLE DISCLAIMER
Another big shout out to Blair. She approached me at church on Sunday as we were leaving asking if I was “Lincee who writes the recap.” I was excited to talk to someone about the upcoming episode, but somehow we lost each other and nothing was mentioned more than a hello. Blair…find me on Sunday. We’ll discuss. I’ll meet you by the popcorn counter. (We meet in a movie theater. My church is so hip.)
Thanks to the well wishes for the ginormous knee issues I’m experiencing. I have the sweetest strangers posting on my site!
And finally, can someone please tell me why “Defying Gravity” from the hit Broadway musical Wicked will NOT stop playing in my head? Sure I have dreams of flying high above an audience, my face painted green, and screaming to the top of my lungs that no one will ever bring me down, but I had dreams of being a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader too. Look how that turned out.
The word you are looking for is…
Anyway…
SIMPLE DISCLAIMER
The following information you are about to read is of personal opinion. If this e-mail circulates to friends, family, enemies...that is your business. However, if you or someone in your address book happens to personally know, sort of know, know the brother/cousin of, thought you saw in the grocery store buying Spring Oreos and Spaghetti O’s or have a spin instructor that looks exactly like one of the Bachelorettes on the show...none of this is personal and I'm sure they are all lovely people.
I absolutely loved last night’s episode. Our girls were in full force last night with tears, insecurities and back stabbing gossip. Isn’t this what we love about our beloved show?!? Can I get an AMEN!?!?
We begin with my favorite host Chris telling the girls they are on their way to Lake Tahoe! This excites the nine remaining girls and they scream at the top of their lungs! All except Bev that is. Bev is down. She has a bum ankle and will not get to show our Bachelor: An Officer and a Gentleman that she is a cool guy’s girl who loves outdoors and snow. Cry me a river Bev.
The Lieutenant pulls the Delorean up next to the private jet. They fly to Lake Tahoe. They board a bus. Andy dances. Lincee blushes. Tina is self conscious. He takes them to their suite. They scream like little girls again. Baldwin tackles three girls onto one bed and asks if they’ve ever played steam roller. Psycho Stephanie proceeds to “steam roll” her way across three girls to land in the horizontal tango with Andy.
And this is just the first two minutes of the show! Nice!
GROUP DATE ONE
“Put on your party dresses and see who feels lucky!”
Punky/Nicole
Gymnast Stephanie
Dani
Bevin
The viewing audience is almost immediately taken to a closed door in which sweet innocent Tessa is doing her best to console the constant tears of Bevin. Poor Bev has only half an hour to get ready for her group date and is not capable of doing anything. Even the simplest of tasks are IMPOSSIBLE to accomplish while hobbling around on stupid crutches. What’s a 32-year-old…I mean…a 28-year old to do?
Take advantage of the nice girls of course! Amber irons her dress. Tess does her makeup. Tina does her hair.
Oh she’s milking it. Give her the entire cow.
Andy feels that Lake Tahoe is the most romantic location ever for a date. He uses this small fact to create an ice breaker for the four girls by asking them, “What’s the most romantic place for a date?” Punky has barely uttered the word, “Cabo” when Andy’s antenna zones in on Bev’s face. Something is wrong. He senses pain. The good Doctor must get to the bottom of this.
“I saw Bev’s wall of protection starting to crumble. I took her aside to see what was going on.”
Seriously. He said that.
Surprise, surprise, Bev takes this opportunity to fall on Andy’s shoulder and cry about all of the fun everyone is having and how she can’t do anything because of her stupid ankle. She wants him to know that she is a fun person and HATES that she is hurt.
Andy: “People get hurt in life. That’s what people are there for…relationships. If I were to get hurt, I know that people would come to my aid.”
Bev: “But it’s weird to me to have someone help me. I don’t get to show you who I am.”
Andy: “Do you feel the electricity when I touch you. Do you feel that? I want you to remain hopeful and stick with it.”
Seriously. You can’t make this up people.
The rest of the girls are beginning to feel a bit left out.
Dani: “He’s a sympathetic guy and she is working it.”
Punky: Throws out our first “f” bomb bleep. Classy!
Gymnast Steph: “I think they are making out.”
Indeed they were making out. Well. Sort of. Andy somewhat pecks with tight lips. Must have been the angle of the camera.
They return to dinner. Bevin comments on the jealous looks thrown her way and hopes that someone doesn’t stab her in the back. Then she adjusts her black mini dress due to the fact that her white girdle was exposed.
The group walks in a drill team line down the row of slot machines to Harrah’s Casino. Bev calls for a hard eight.
Lieutenant as he sips from his straw: “Was that a hard eight or heartache?”
He’s full of them tonight ladies and gentleman.
Before Bev can giggle and pretend blush, Lieutenant Baldwin’s radar picks up on an unhappy soul. Here we go again.
Andy: “Steph wasn’t herself. I decided to have some alone time with her to see what was plaguing her heart.”
Gym: “I’m just emotionally and physically drained. I don’t want you to think I’m overwhelmed…I’m just going to cry on your shoulder for a minute. It’s hard for me because I like to plan things.”
Andy: “ I want you to know that I think you are amazing. I hope I get to meet your family.”
Then Dani walks in to steal him away. Lord help me if this chick starts to cry.
Dani: “I like to see your vulnerability.”
Andy: “You are a very strong woman. I would expect nothing less from a north easterner. (huh?) The connection I feel with you is worth fighting for…you are the most genuine person I’ve ever met.”
Then they kiss. Well. Sort of. Another series of tight lip pecks. Must have been the lighting.
And now the moment they’ve all been waiting for. Who gets the special quality time with the Bachelor: An Officer and a Gentleman?
After a brief swig from his straw and a very robotic discussion with the ladies, my boy picks Bev. He’s a doctor. It’s his nature to care about people.
It is at this point that I say out loud:
“He’s going to carry her to his suite. She’s conveniently forgotten her crutches.”
And he does. Bev doesn’t care that her Spanx are showing on national TV. Like a true man, he kicks open the hotel door and flings her on the sofa. They have a discussion about nerds and how he always won the science fair at high school. (Did anyone else notice how snotty our Lieutenant was during this conversation?)
Andy then tells Bev that he has always wanted to be an astronaut.
RANDOM SIDE TRACK
Last night I watched the Bachelor: An Officer and a Gentleman with my dear friends Bob and Rebecca. Their dear friends Chris and Corina were also there to bask in the presence of our Lieutenant.
I’d like to take this time to point out that Bob, Chris and Corina work for NASA and Rebecca used to work there. You can imagine the anticipation we all felt when our beloved Bachelor: An Officer and a Gentleman started talking about his dream of being an astronaut.
I believe it was Chris who said, “I call BS. He’d never make it. There are no hot tubs on the space station.”
I never laughed so hard in my life.
Andy thinks Bev is real. Bev says she can’t NOT be real. We see her girdle again. Andy wants to know if he is in Hawaii in a year, where will she be. She answers Hawaii.
And then they kiss again. Well. Sort of.
Actually…I’m beginning to feel bad for the guy. I ask Bob his opinion on the kissing technique. No comment. Hmmmm. It must be the camera. Yeah. That’s it. Andy is scared of the camera and doesn’t want to really kiss her until later.
He takes her back to the girls’ suite. He says she is his sanctuary. She calls him romantic. They kiss like they are in 6th grade and the Lieutenant tells the camera that knowing that there is a woman like Bevin on this adventure makes him feel like there is going to be a happy ending.
GROUP DATE TWO
Psycho Steph
Tessa
Tina
Kate
Andy is excited about skiing in the outdoors. (As opposed to skiing in the indoors?)
Steph jumps him because it’s her birthday! And nothing else is ever said about it. Uh oh Steph. Red flags. Flying. Everywhere. Beware!
Kate has never been skiing before. She doesn’t see the appeal of something that is cold and wet. She hates snow.
Is anyone else LOVING Kate as much as me this episode?
Tess is a natural. She invites Andy to jump on the back of her skis. He digs this. She says there is friction in the air. Andy thinks it’s because everything is becoming real and emotions are soaring.
Andy: “I hope that you know I really feel a connection. I’m not just blowing smoke. I hope you stick with it.”
Tess: “I feel one too, but I have to be honest…it’s hard to be friends with people who feel strong connections with you too.”
Keep in mind that this whole conversation is peppered with sniffs and snot. I want to make sure you have a true visual…
Steph is not here to be in sorority house. She tells the camera that she would throw another girl under the bus. Would not hesitate.
Steph to Andy: “I know you want strong independent woman. I’m telling you that some of these girls can’t do that. They are too young and immature. Keep your eyes open. You are doing okay. I came into this and knew exactly what I was getting into. Most of these girls didn’t.”
Andy confesses to the camera: “It’s really hard to hear what Stephanie has to say. Jealously is a rampant beast. (Bob laughs) A lot of girls are annoyed. I’m trying to be a gentleman. The intense drama between the girls is beginning to annoy me. To hear that, gets under my skin. I’m trying to find a wife.”
To Psycho Steph’s dismay, Andy invites Kate to join him in a gondola ride up the mountain. This is when Kate decides that she probably won’t get a rose and she is gong to reek havoc on the girls. She proceeds to throw Amber and Psycho Steph under the bus. Andy appreciates her honesty and knows that she truly wants him to find love.
Bless Andy’s heart.
To no one’s surprise (in our little NASA group) the Lieutenant picks Tina for his super special alone time.
Tina: “I came here to see if we connect. It was never about me competing with someone else.”
Andy: “You are unique and sexy…not into playing games or back stabbing.”
Tina: “Thanks! I’m really, really trying! Are you high maintenance? The car…the yacht? Seriously? You can’t afford that?”
NASA group: LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY!
Andy: “You impress me with your questions. I think you are just what the doctor ordered.”
NASA group: Collective groan from all five of us.
Meanwhile, Psycho Steph is confused as to why Andy didn’t pick her for alone time. The last time they were together was the first solo date. She decides to reflect by the window.
Kate: “What are you doing?”
Psycho: “Crying about how beautiful the view is.”
Insert Jim Halpert face from Kate.
Classic. Absolutely classic. She must read this blog and did that for me.
Cyber high five my friend!
ONE-ON-ONE DATE
I absolutely loved last night’s episode. Our girls were in full force last night with tears, insecurities and back stabbing gossip. Isn’t this what we love about our beloved show?!? Can I get an AMEN!?!?
We begin with my favorite host Chris telling the girls they are on their way to Lake Tahoe! This excites the nine remaining girls and they scream at the top of their lungs! All except Bev that is. Bev is down. She has a bum ankle and will not get to show our Bachelor: An Officer and a Gentleman that she is a cool guy’s girl who loves outdoors and snow. Cry me a river Bev.
The Lieutenant pulls the Delorean up next to the private jet. They fly to Lake Tahoe. They board a bus. Andy dances. Lincee blushes. Tina is self conscious. He takes them to their suite. They scream like little girls again. Baldwin tackles three girls onto one bed and asks if they’ve ever played steam roller. Psycho Stephanie proceeds to “steam roll” her way across three girls to land in the horizontal tango with Andy.
And this is just the first two minutes of the show! Nice!
GROUP DATE ONE
“Put on your party dresses and see who feels lucky!”
Punky/Nicole
Gymnast Stephanie
Dani
Bevin
The viewing audience is almost immediately taken to a closed door in which sweet innocent Tessa is doing her best to console the constant tears of Bevin. Poor Bev has only half an hour to get ready for her group date and is not capable of doing anything. Even the simplest of tasks are IMPOSSIBLE to accomplish while hobbling around on stupid crutches. What’s a 32-year-old…I mean…a 28-year old to do?
Take advantage of the nice girls of course! Amber irons her dress. Tess does her makeup. Tina does her hair.
Oh she’s milking it. Give her the entire cow.
Andy feels that Lake Tahoe is the most romantic location ever for a date. He uses this small fact to create an ice breaker for the four girls by asking them, “What’s the most romantic place for a date?” Punky has barely uttered the word, “Cabo” when Andy’s antenna zones in on Bev’s face. Something is wrong. He senses pain. The good Doctor must get to the bottom of this.
“I saw Bev’s wall of protection starting to crumble. I took her aside to see what was going on.”
Seriously. He said that.
Surprise, surprise, Bev takes this opportunity to fall on Andy’s shoulder and cry about all of the fun everyone is having and how she can’t do anything because of her stupid ankle. She wants him to know that she is a fun person and HATES that she is hurt.
Andy: “People get hurt in life. That’s what people are there for…relationships. If I were to get hurt, I know that people would come to my aid.”
Bev: “But it’s weird to me to have someone help me. I don’t get to show you who I am.”
Andy: “Do you feel the electricity when I touch you. Do you feel that? I want you to remain hopeful and stick with it.”
Seriously. You can’t make this up people.
The rest of the girls are beginning to feel a bit left out.
Dani: “He’s a sympathetic guy and she is working it.”
Punky: Throws out our first “f” bomb bleep. Classy!
Gymnast Steph: “I think they are making out.”
Indeed they were making out. Well. Sort of. Andy somewhat pecks with tight lips. Must have been the angle of the camera.
They return to dinner. Bevin comments on the jealous looks thrown her way and hopes that someone doesn’t stab her in the back. Then she adjusts her black mini dress due to the fact that her white girdle was exposed.
The group walks in a drill team line down the row of slot machines to Harrah’s Casino. Bev calls for a hard eight.
Lieutenant as he sips from his straw: “Was that a hard eight or heartache?”
He’s full of them tonight ladies and gentleman.
Before Bev can giggle and pretend blush, Lieutenant Baldwin’s radar picks up on an unhappy soul. Here we go again.
Andy: “Steph wasn’t herself. I decided to have some alone time with her to see what was plaguing her heart.”
Gym: “I’m just emotionally and physically drained. I don’t want you to think I’m overwhelmed…I’m just going to cry on your shoulder for a minute. It’s hard for me because I like to plan things.”
Andy: “ I want you to know that I think you are amazing. I hope I get to meet your family.”
Then Dani walks in to steal him away. Lord help me if this chick starts to cry.
Dani: “I like to see your vulnerability.”
Andy: “You are a very strong woman. I would expect nothing less from a north easterner. (huh?) The connection I feel with you is worth fighting for…you are the most genuine person I’ve ever met.”
Then they kiss. Well. Sort of. Another series of tight lip pecks. Must have been the lighting.
And now the moment they’ve all been waiting for. Who gets the special quality time with the Bachelor: An Officer and a Gentleman?
After a brief swig from his straw and a very robotic discussion with the ladies, my boy picks Bev. He’s a doctor. It’s his nature to care about people.
It is at this point that I say out loud:
“He’s going to carry her to his suite. She’s conveniently forgotten her crutches.”
And he does. Bev doesn’t care that her Spanx are showing on national TV. Like a true man, he kicks open the hotel door and flings her on the sofa. They have a discussion about nerds and how he always won the science fair at high school. (Did anyone else notice how snotty our Lieutenant was during this conversation?)
Andy then tells Bev that he has always wanted to be an astronaut.
RANDOM SIDE TRACK
Last night I watched the Bachelor: An Officer and a Gentleman with my dear friends Bob and Rebecca. Their dear friends Chris and Corina were also there to bask in the presence of our Lieutenant.
I’d like to take this time to point out that Bob, Chris and Corina work for NASA and Rebecca used to work there. You can imagine the anticipation we all felt when our beloved Bachelor: An Officer and a Gentleman started talking about his dream of being an astronaut.
I believe it was Chris who said, “I call BS. He’d never make it. There are no hot tubs on the space station.”
I never laughed so hard in my life.
Andy thinks Bev is real. Bev says she can’t NOT be real. We see her girdle again. Andy wants to know if he is in Hawaii in a year, where will she be. She answers Hawaii.
And then they kiss again. Well. Sort of.
Actually…I’m beginning to feel bad for the guy. I ask Bob his opinion on the kissing technique. No comment. Hmmmm. It must be the camera. Yeah. That’s it. Andy is scared of the camera and doesn’t want to really kiss her until later.
He takes her back to the girls’ suite. He says she is his sanctuary. She calls him romantic. They kiss like they are in 6th grade and the Lieutenant tells the camera that knowing that there is a woman like Bevin on this adventure makes him feel like there is going to be a happy ending.
GROUP DATE TWO
Psycho Steph
Tessa
Tina
Kate
Andy is excited about skiing in the outdoors. (As opposed to skiing in the indoors?)
Steph jumps him because it’s her birthday! And nothing else is ever said about it. Uh oh Steph. Red flags. Flying. Everywhere. Beware!
Kate has never been skiing before. She doesn’t see the appeal of something that is cold and wet. She hates snow.
Is anyone else LOVING Kate as much as me this episode?
Tess is a natural. She invites Andy to jump on the back of her skis. He digs this. She says there is friction in the air. Andy thinks it’s because everything is becoming real and emotions are soaring.
Andy: “I hope that you know I really feel a connection. I’m not just blowing smoke. I hope you stick with it.”
Tess: “I feel one too, but I have to be honest…it’s hard to be friends with people who feel strong connections with you too.”
Keep in mind that this whole conversation is peppered with sniffs and snot. I want to make sure you have a true visual…
Steph is not here to be in sorority house. She tells the camera that she would throw another girl under the bus. Would not hesitate.
Steph to Andy: “I know you want strong independent woman. I’m telling you that some of these girls can’t do that. They are too young and immature. Keep your eyes open. You are doing okay. I came into this and knew exactly what I was getting into. Most of these girls didn’t.”
Andy confesses to the camera: “It’s really hard to hear what Stephanie has to say. Jealously is a rampant beast. (Bob laughs) A lot of girls are annoyed. I’m trying to be a gentleman. The intense drama between the girls is beginning to annoy me. To hear that, gets under my skin. I’m trying to find a wife.”
To Psycho Steph’s dismay, Andy invites Kate to join him in a gondola ride up the mountain. This is when Kate decides that she probably won’t get a rose and she is gong to reek havoc on the girls. She proceeds to throw Amber and Psycho Steph under the bus. Andy appreciates her honesty and knows that she truly wants him to find love.
Bless Andy’s heart.
To no one’s surprise (in our little NASA group) the Lieutenant picks Tina for his super special alone time.
Tina: “I came here to see if we connect. It was never about me competing with someone else.”
Andy: “You are unique and sexy…not into playing games or back stabbing.”
Tina: “Thanks! I’m really, really trying! Are you high maintenance? The car…the yacht? Seriously? You can’t afford that?”
NASA group: LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY!
Andy: “You impress me with your questions. I think you are just what the doctor ordered.”
NASA group: Collective groan from all five of us.
Meanwhile, Psycho Steph is confused as to why Andy didn’t pick her for alone time. The last time they were together was the first solo date. She decides to reflect by the window.
Kate: “What are you doing?”
Psycho: “Crying about how beautiful the view is.”
Insert Jim Halpert face from Kate.
Classic. Absolutely classic. She must read this blog and did that for me.
Cyber high five my friend!
ONE-ON-ONE DATE
Amber had onions for dinner and is worried about her breath. Someone suggests she suck on a lemon. And she does it. What the crap Amber? Ever heard of toothpaste? Binaca? Orbitz gum?
Then there is the dilemma about what to wear. Jeans? Heels? Hat? Scarf? Too dressy? Too casual? Where are we going? Outside? Inside?
Hey Amber? It’s Lincee. Look. No one cares. Give it up.
Andy arrives and takes her to a cozy cabin. She spots the rose immediately and turns into annoying girl. They begin an awkward conversation about rumors and intensions and what people have been telling him. It’s all very cryptic, but the smile that is usually plastered on our Bachelor: An Officer and a Gentleman is mysteriously gone.
MAYDAYMAYDAYMAYDAYMAYDAY!
The ship is sinking Amber! Take immediate action!
So they go to the hot tub so she can make him forget about the rumors. The talk about how romantic Lake Tahoe is and how romantic the hotel is and how romantic the hot tub is and how romantic the champagne is.
Andy gets this goofy grin on his face and says, “I know something that will make it even more romantic.”
I kid you not reader…my first thought was that Andy was going to fart in the hot tub. And I would have laughed my butt off. Literally. WHERE WERE YOU ABC INTERN! THAT WOULD HAVE GONE DOWN IN BACHELOR HISTORY!
Instead, he runs and gets the rose. And they kiss. Well. Sort of.
RANDOM SIDE TRACK NUMBER TWO
My dear friend Caroline called me this morning to chat about the show. We visited about the obvious things and then she gets quiet.
“What is it?” I ask cautiously.
“Lincee…do you think he is a good kisser?”
Sadly, I answer no. But I do believe there is potential.
The thing about this conversation is that Caroline’s sweet husband Michael even noticed the Lieutenant’s lack of lip action. When a guy is commenting on how the Bachelor: An Officer and a Gentleman is falling short of our expectations in the makeout department, it might be time to take action.
This is two years in a row ABC. I know Andy is not as bad as Renzy, but seriously…maybe there should be a coach on site? The potential is there.
I’m just saying.
BEFORE THE ROSE CEREMONY
Then there is the dilemma about what to wear. Jeans? Heels? Hat? Scarf? Too dressy? Too casual? Where are we going? Outside? Inside?
Hey Amber? It’s Lincee. Look. No one cares. Give it up.
Andy arrives and takes her to a cozy cabin. She spots the rose immediately and turns into annoying girl. They begin an awkward conversation about rumors and intensions and what people have been telling him. It’s all very cryptic, but the smile that is usually plastered on our Bachelor: An Officer and a Gentleman is mysteriously gone.
MAYDAYMAYDAYMAYDAYMAYDAY!
The ship is sinking Amber! Take immediate action!
So they go to the hot tub so she can make him forget about the rumors. The talk about how romantic Lake Tahoe is and how romantic the hotel is and how romantic the hot tub is and how romantic the champagne is.
Andy gets this goofy grin on his face and says, “I know something that will make it even more romantic.”
I kid you not reader…my first thought was that Andy was going to fart in the hot tub. And I would have laughed my butt off. Literally. WHERE WERE YOU ABC INTERN! THAT WOULD HAVE GONE DOWN IN BACHELOR HISTORY!
Instead, he runs and gets the rose. And they kiss. Well. Sort of.
RANDOM SIDE TRACK NUMBER TWO
My dear friend Caroline called me this morning to chat about the show. We visited about the obvious things and then she gets quiet.
“What is it?” I ask cautiously.
“Lincee…do you think he is a good kisser?”
Sadly, I answer no. But I do believe there is potential.
The thing about this conversation is that Caroline’s sweet husband Michael even noticed the Lieutenant’s lack of lip action. When a guy is commenting on how the Bachelor: An Officer and a Gentleman is falling short of our expectations in the makeout department, it might be time to take action.
This is two years in a row ABC. I know Andy is not as bad as Renzy, but seriously…maybe there should be a coach on site? The potential is there.
I’m just saying.
BEFORE THE ROSE CEREMONY
Kate apologizes for her word vomit.
Psycho Steph thinks her dress is smoking hot.
Lincee thinks her boobs are fake.
Kate then throws Amber under the bus saying that she heard from
her best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend who heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Tina who said that Amber and Andy almost had s-e-x the other night and the relationship must be pretty serious. This makes Amber cry to Andy.
Kate then tells Bev that there are a couple of people who shouldn’t trust her.
Andy takes his drink with a straw out to the Pier One wicker patio furniture and has some alone time with Tess.
Tess: “Like a said before a thousand times…when I’m with you, I’m cool. But when I’m living with these psycho girls, it’s weird. For me it has to build. When I compare…I feel like I should leave.”
Andy: “Tessa…focus on this (points to heart) and forget the other girls. I know that we have a connection. Are you willing to get to know me more.”
Tess: “Just be open and honest. If you know what you want…I don’t want to get hurt.”
Why do I have the feeling that this chick is going to get hurt?
ROSE CEREMONY
Tessa
Bev: Carry it close, okay?
Dani
Tina
Stephanie Kansas
I have to say that Bob called it. He said early on that Psycho was out. I have to admit that I’m a little said that she’s gone. Kate too. There are only good girls left, so the next five weeks are going to be about hot tubs, sort of kissing and lots of zingy one-liners from our Bachelor: An Officer and a Gentleman.
Is it bad that I’m already bored? I hope ABC proves me wrong…
Lots of love and prayers to our Virginia Tech friends.
All about the shame, not the fame,
Lincee
Psycho Steph thinks her dress is smoking hot.
Lincee thinks her boobs are fake.
Kate then throws Amber under the bus saying that she heard from
her best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend who heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Tina who said that Amber and Andy almost had s-e-x the other night and the relationship must be pretty serious. This makes Amber cry to Andy.
Kate then tells Bev that there are a couple of people who shouldn’t trust her.
Andy takes his drink with a straw out to the Pier One wicker patio furniture and has some alone time with Tess.
Tess: “Like a said before a thousand times…when I’m with you, I’m cool. But when I’m living with these psycho girls, it’s weird. For me it has to build. When I compare…I feel like I should leave.”
Andy: “Tessa…focus on this (points to heart) and forget the other girls. I know that we have a connection. Are you willing to get to know me more.”
Tess: “Just be open and honest. If you know what you want…I don’t want to get hurt.”
Why do I have the feeling that this chick is going to get hurt?
ROSE CEREMONY
Tessa
Bev: Carry it close, okay?
Dani
Tina
Stephanie Kansas
I have to say that Bob called it. He said early on that Psycho was out. I have to admit that I’m a little said that she’s gone. Kate too. There are only good girls left, so the next five weeks are going to be about hot tubs, sort of kissing and lots of zingy one-liners from our Bachelor: An Officer and a Gentleman.
Is it bad that I’m already bored? I hope ABC proves me wrong…
Lots of love and prayers to our Virginia Tech friends.
All about the shame, not the fame,
Lincee
130 comments:
Actually, he told Dani, "I'd expect nothing MORE from a Northeasterner."
Nice unintentional dig on the Northeast. Or strong women?
LOL...Just LOVED the girdle, and the snot. Sexy, baby, yeah!
so funny - can't believe you didn't comment on Bev jumpin' the Bach in the suite! What did she say...something like 'give me a check up' I was gearing up for a strip tease (or something) but I guess Bach panicked because next thing I knew she was sitting next to him again.
SO glad you noticed the SPANX! That was a faux pas no born and raised southern girl would have ever allowed!
New drinking game... count the # of times Andy says he feels a connection/electricity. ugh.
Andy can be the astronaut in the next "Team America" movie with that giant head of his...
Andy is a very weird kisser - he never turns his head to kiss. You can't get a good kiss going when your noses are schmooshed together.
you thought he was about to fart? I thought the shorts were about to come off!
Best comment in the recap is that you thought he was going to fart! So funny and YES that would have been an all time favorite moment in Bachelor history!!! Great recap, Lincee!
Love the Farris Bueller reference, you rock!
I couldn't stand it! I missed last night's episode and vowed I wouldn't read the recap until I watched it, but I am weak! Great recap! Makes me ready to go home and watch!
I don't get what "Hold it close" means. You?
The fart reference was classic. My office mate must think I'm crazy from the amount of laughing I did over the past 5 minutes. Hilarious.
Let me just say that as a former Space Camp Counselor (go ahead, make jokes), I absolutely LOVED that he wanted to be an astronaut. LOVED. I seriously geeked out y'all. Go NASA. If it weren't for this whole "engagement" thing, he'd be my perfect man. Seriously.
Bev (aka - the gimp) needs to make up her mind about the ankle. She either needs the crutches or she doesn't. People with ankle injuries do not typically jump on other people. Also, it's just an ankle injury. Get. Over. It. If you're going to wear something to keep the swelling down, get an ankle brace, not SPANX.
Kate - um, wow. Can we say duplicitous? Yikes.
Pyscho Steph - baby, go put some clothes on. Nobody wants to see that. Really. Do you need to borrow a sweatshirt?
Lincee, I also think Tessa is going to get hurt. Does any else remember the brunette with long hair sobbing after a rose ceremony during the season's sneak peeks? I think it is probably Tess. Whoever it was, you couldn't help but feel sorry for her.
Oh the drama of it all. I can't wait for next week.
God Bless you for calling out Bev's spanx! I was dying!
Did anyone else hear Amber's roommate on the Sam Malone Morning Show? I just caught the end of the interview. Roomie and Amber were shocked to hear Amber being thrown under the bus in last night’s episode. Roomie promises Amber will come on the Sam’s morning show to talk about The Bachelor (after the final rose).
Ding, dong, the witch is dead! Except that witches are fun and the show needs at least one. Still, I'm sure they kept Psycho Steph on retainer and we'll see her again for an encore if things get slow. Or maybe Dani will become a true Nor'Easter and blow everyone's house down.
Can you please add to the disclaimer that reading this blog in an open office setting may disrupt your coworkers - I laughed out loud at the fart comment!
I just loved the departing monologue from Psycho Steph ... I will totally miss her & Kate!
Lincee! What church do you go to???? Road trip! :)
How can we not mention the 3 inch heals that Bevin was wearing. What the hell??? If your ankle hurts so much how can you wear the heals. I call BS! She is so milking it.
I was crossing my fingers that Dani would bring up her dead boyfriend again when she has her "super special one on one time" with the O&G. Seriously. Talk about sympathy roses.
How awesome was it that the ABC Intern placed the two Stephs RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER during the rose ceremony?!? So when he said, "Stephanie..." there was a look of pure horror on Psycho's face. I loved it!
Kate was by far the comic relief of this season. She didn't even like Andy. She was just hi-LAR-ious. She totally knew she was going home last night and, by god, she went out with a BANG! I want to be her friend. I will miss her!
I honestly felt sorry for Bev. She was smart to use it to her advantage to tight lip "make out" with the O&G and it WORKED. SHe made me proud.
Much anticipated recap today- I thought I was going to need my own bucket last night!!! Can Andy be more of a goofball? Shocked no references to Bev wanting him to give her "an exam."
Seriously.
And I have to say I'm sad to see psycho Steph go- she kept the crazy drama in there and so sad Kate is going after a STELLAR performance last night.
Tina. Really? Am I the only one that doesn't see that connection?
And lastly- was anyone else sort of surprised by the reaction we got from Punky/Nicole? We've heard nothing but complaints from her- but she never goes for alone time, etc with him? Then she's bent over sobbing? What gives! Think she deserves a Bless her Heart- a genuine one..
Shout out to the person who said no born & raised Southern girl would have her Spanx showing... DAMN RIGHT! --however- I feel if you look that good in a bikini, why are you even wearing spanx?
I love a girl who sports SPANX on national television! Nice catch! I have to admit I was bummed I wasn't able to watch the show last night, but I totally cheated and just watched it online at work. :) (Its a slow day!) Thanks - as always!
Lincee,
Yes, the snot at minute 34 was priceless, he cleared his snot then proceeded to kiss Bev. Sort of. It was oh so gross! Eww gross.
Kate's Jim Halpert face (put to music even) had me laughing too...rewind TIVO and laugh again. I will miss her.
As far as his astronaut dream, he does have the shiny white, perfectly veneered teeth, going for him. So, maybe!
Thanks for the funnies and glad you are back safe and sound!
BFF Jenn
I think that we need to see more of Chris Harrison. I miss him!
I can't believe none of the girls called BS on Bevin's ankle drama when she was able to walk to the casino and stand all night at the craps table in strappy heels.
I actually hit rewind on the TIVO when I saw the Spanx - hilarious!
ESPN page 2 is running a good recap too: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=bachelor/070424
I heard Sam this morning...then I came to work and viewed a couple websites with spoiler picks...I had to know. After hearing Amber's roomie saying that they go out partying together in Midtown, I just couldn't imagine her doing that if she was the final rose girl! And she's out...either next week or week after. Sam seems to think she gets a home town date because camera crews from ABC came and shot her interacting with her students and following her around town last year sometime. So, we shall see how far she goes. I'm personally pulling for Tessa. I have been since the second episode!
I was born in Dickinson, live in Denver and literally laughed so hard I cried when you had him farting in the hot tub. The person in the office next to me came in to see if I was OK ...
Random moment I had to comment on… at the ‘pre-rose ceremony’ when Andy and Bevin were sitting together discussing her nerves—he tried to push her hair behind her ear like 12 times and it wouldn’t bend or budge. Thought that was classic—especially after all of his tirades about liking his women au natural.
And as a fellow Dukie, I must say that our beloved bachelor definitely fits under the well-known category of “complete nerd stuck in an attractive person’s body.” A type that is rampant on campus. Hey—at least he admitted to it for a brief moment before talking about himself again (and again, and again…).
Poor Punky! Is no one going to show her some love??
Actually surprised that she made it this far.....she reminds me of the pyscho from a few bachelors back that was more the "friend" type. (They both even have similar features.) The writing was on the wall for her when he barely even acknowledged her presence on the group date and prior to the rose ceremony. Bless her heart...she was so so sad.
Love the SPANX! horrible that we saw them once but completely unforgivable that we got the second shot of them....that is a sign of poor breeding!
(And Pyscho Stef and the stripper dress is beyond poor breeding)
Lincee, thanks so much for the entertainment! I now have a reason to live for the two worst days of the week..the show and your blog.
Lord help me when it's over....you'll have to start blogging about another show or current event or something!!!!
PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!
Andy has given me hope that there are still nice guys out there, looking for nice (well kinda nice) girls and not keeping loser chicks on the show just for good tv.
Nicole, Kate and especially Psycho needed to go. I think Psycho accidently got interviewed for the wrong reality show and should've been on "Extreme Makeover" to fix her three mile apart eyes, receeding hairline, and those lips, teeth, gums - that whole area! yuck
Is anyone else shocked that Tina is still in the running? I had her out the moment she crooned the Star Spangled Banner (while I hid behind my pillow). I've had her nixed at every rose ceremony, and yet, she still survives. HOW??
I will miss Stephanie and her silicon implants. It just gets boring once all the crazy is gone.
Do the girls keep all the roses they get? Yeah, I noticed the amount of Bev's hairspray stuck in Andy's eyes while kissing. I'll miss Kate, too. Tina's out next week.
BTW, did Chris spill Champagne when he was dinging the glass with the spoon? *snicker*
Oh, I think there's plenty of crazy left (i.e. Bevin). But Steph SC did have her own brand of crazy/bitchiness. She's a climber.
I noticed the stiff hair thing too. Funny!
And the glass clinking/almost spillage thing too.
Bevin is a FAKER but smart to do what she did. I just don't like her helmet hair, bird face, and tacky tats...
I vote for Tessa or Amber
Definitely still some crazy in the mix with Bev. Have we all forgotten the "SIR YES SIR" boot camp yell?
Bev, Bev, Bev - oh honey we do NOT need to see your SPANX.
Personally I think I would die if a 6 time triathlete found my girdle - even if he is a nerd at heart.
just a comment on the "unexplained watch" given to Bevin.
I am thinking a little token rather than be sued maybe.
I was thrilled to see those 3 go. I had them picked for the night. Although I dont understand why he is keeping Tina, he has not even tried to kiss her.
Why is he keeping the uglies around this season? Tina...I agree, after the Star Spangled Banner, I thought she was a goner. And Tessa....eww. She doesn't have a rockin personality and she's not even cute!
Go Amber or Gymnast!
Lincee...do you go to Second Baptist?
I think this episode definitely highlighted Andy's kissing "technique." Even my husband commented that he kissed like Hugh Hefner (which I found appropriate since we did have "Hef's wife" on earlier!) I was busy trying to determine if Andy has veneers on all of his teeth!
I am going to miss Kate. A lot.
I liked Bevin til last night. She whined and cried to the girls until they helped her get ready, then she whined and cried to Andy that, by gosh she's 28 years old and doesn't need people to carry her bags and crutches. What a whiney butt.
Im soooo glad other people saw the SPANX other than me!! I yelled it out and ran to my roommates room to ask her if she was them. Also...I dont understand the Tina thing...I mean she pooches her lips like Bette Midler in "Hocus Pocus." She has outlived her 2 episode courtousy stay. But whatever! I also have to agree with Lincee, I was LOVING Kate last night, sad to see her go, Im glad Slutty McSlut is on her way back to South Carolina though...thats just 1 last thing I have to worry about. Still not completly sure who my fav is, but I gotta say Andy and Danielle might be a pretty cute together!??!
I'm w/ you 1:14...I was rooting for Bev until all of that drama last night - now she's just getting on my nerves. I'm kind of liking Tessa - she's got such a unique look - very pretty... any ideas on her origins?
I think the producers let insane Steph go because Bevin will be plenty insane by next week. I can't stand her, and neither can the other girls. Andy may ditch her b/c she is not the "meet the family" type.
Payton may be the next Bachelorette. Why else would ABC set up such an obvious ploy for the entire audience to feel sorry for her?
Andy may like Tina b/c she is the only one with a brain. Altho, despite being a doctor, Andy doesn't come across as very smart. Maybe he is just hammered all the time? He does not impress me at all. I watch it for pure entertainment (well, maybe not pure).
I think Andy will end up proposing to Tessa and then after the show is done Tessa will dump him.
Thanks for the blog, I look forward to reading it!
We love Tessa, too. I have read that she's part Chinese/Jewish. She reminds us of dear Meredith from a previous season w/a similar hunky blonde fella.
I am so torn on the departure of psycho. I was looking forward to lots of drama with her! But when you have alone time with Andy, is it really a good idea to spend the entire time bashing other girls (I'm looking at you too Kate)? Dumb, dumb. But I'm glad I don't have to hear her say, "Me an Aaandeee" one more time. I would have been wasted if that phrase were part of a drinking game.
I am so pulling for Tessa. Which means she's toast.
Punky confused me. She didn't seem interested in him at all...was just BFF with all the girls. The tears seemed out of left field.
I liked Bev up to this point. Why is she acting like a 15-year-old?
Andy is gay...hence the 'yuk I am going to get cooties from you' kissing style.
Forget Payton as the next 'rette- I want Stephanie SC!! Oh wait- they already have that show on MTV-
it's called I LOVE NEW YORK!
I have to say in Bevins defense- she had heels on- but if you go back and look when they're walking into the casino- her left foot is HUGE! I think she's hurt- but just playing it up than usual!
Props to the Hocus Pocus joke!
can someone please clue me in to the Ferris Buller comment?
ROCK ON Ladies!
Group consensus around here was that our boy Andy was "feeling no pain" through most of last night's episode -- but then who can blame him when cocktails are served 24/7? The slurring and wobbling have mostly been the domain of the women (wasn't it just last season the woman fell asleep on the beach and then was delusional when she woke up??), but Andy sure seems to be slurping SOMETHING powerful with that da*n straw!
Kudos to whoever was running the camera last night -- the facial expressions from the opening frames were classic! How Nicole could have the meltdown at the end after it was crystal clear she wasn't being given ANY face time with Andy is beyond me -- and we all thought Slutanie was the crazy one!
Can't decide what the 411 is on Tina -- I can only guess the mutual attraction relates to her being a medical student. If there's physical attraction between those two I need new glasses.
I'm thinking this is coming down to Tessa (she seems to grow on ya -- or maybe it's that the others fall away), Bev and Amber. The other three feel like flotsam.
Face it -- ABC sure doesn't choose these guys for their kissing prowess -- Chris, time for some on-the-job training, pronto!
Just wait folks -- you thought the departure of the gruesome threesome was the end of the drama -- I think NOT!!
That was a great recap Lincee! You are awesome!
Ditto on the high heels on Bevin, I think that the doctor should advise her that high hells & bad ankle= no no!
Host Chris –
You did not lie – this is the best season since Firestone!! Any word on any of this season's bachelorettes getting their own show (The Bachelorette)?
I just have one bone to pick. Why on earth is there a link to the ESPN Page 2 Bachelor Recaps on the ABC Bachelor webpage, but not a link to Lincee's recaps? Can you swing getting a link to Lincee's blog on The Bachelor webpage?
I'm sure all Lincee fans would appreciate it if you could get ABC to put a link to Lincee's blog!!
Thanks!!
In your first blog, you predicted that Bevin would go far. How did you know that? I keep waiting every week for the whiney, desperate girl to get the boot!
I'm just waiting for him to call one of them by the wrong name.
I'm surprised nobody has mentioned the "where is Lake Tahoe" conversation!!! Oregon? Washington??
I can't make up my mimd about Bev. The minute I think she might be okay she opens her mouth and ruins it for me. And Tina? I don't get that one at all! My vote is for Tessa or Gym Stephanie.
Whoever said they'll miss Punky Nicole - I totally agree! She was fun.
Props to The Bach for keeping his eyes on Steph SC's face instead of her "dress" during their couch-time pre-Rose Ceremony. Impressive.
Hi Lincee and Recap Readers...
I honestly think the ABC intern puts together a vocab list for all perspective bachelors and bachelorettes. It includes words like "connection" and "energy", etc. I always wonder if the bachelor/bachelorette gets a bonus if they use more of the words. Like a baseball player who gets a bonus if they hit a home run. Perhaps Officer Andy is going for extra style points with the cheese lines he drops the vocab words into.
I would have given Officer Andy style points if the fart would have occured...completely priceless!
We love you out in Cali! Lincee, if you're ever in SJ you can watch the bachelor with me!
Random side thought - what happened to husband Chris?
how is it that a sprained ankle keeps you from being able to put on your own makeup but still allows you to walk in strappy high heels?!
Classic: Andy and Tina are having super special one on one alone time and they walk up to the observation deck. What does Andy say once they get there? "A LAKE!" Dude, you're at Lake Tahoe, What did you expect to see on the observation deck?
Another great week Lincee! The fart comment was the best laugh I've had in days. Ti-ny bubbles.......
I think that the interns totally goofed up last night when they didn't film the girls' flight back to Charleston. Can you imagine what Punky, Psycho and Krazy Kate had to say on that cross-country ride, especially since they seemed to be so vocal (read that as snide) during the whole show? Do you think that they had a reunion at a local pub and comisserated their dismissal? Another great video moment missed! It's truly amazing that so much drama came out of one small geographic area. South Carolina and Texas are truly the hotbeds of contestant recruitment!
I have a feeling Kate was a mole. Watch how she spoke to Andy on the gondola...watch how he speaks to her - as if they're friends - and not new friends. He's asking for information on the other girls - in ways that a "sensitive" guy like Andy would consider inappropriate/unkind with others. And there was not even a HINT of chemistry between them - which didn't seem to bother either of them. Just a hunch...Kate may be showing up again at some point.
2:59, and everyone else....stop asking about the husband! Geesh! I don't even know the girl, but when Lincee didn't answer that question when it was asked 20 different ways last week, I think it's should be clear that it's nobody's business!!!
Because she writes a funny blog about The Bachelor, do you really expect her to share her personal life with a chat room of strangers? Let's just stick to picking apart the contestants!
What is wrong with you people!?!?
I agree, 6:27. Give it a rest, everyone!! For crying out loud!
What about when he tried to push Bev's hair out of her face? It wouldn't move, but he keep trying anyway. Gotta love the helmet.
Did anyone think that Andy was drunk - during the Tessa/Payton date and during the casino date?
Nice Spanx Bev - white?
I think there might be something in the Kate as a spy theory, that would be soooo great!
I think Amber might be the one crying hysterically in the previews, just a hunch she leaves before Tessa.
Slutanie... too funny!
No joke about the WHITE spanx, atleast get black with some lace or something. And Lincee with the 32 yr old I mean 28 yr old comment was too good.
I kid you not - during the one-on-one date when he said "I know something that will make this even more romantic" while in the hot tub, one of my friends said, "oh my gosh he's going to fart!"
Tina. Must. Go. She isn't even interesting to make up for not being very cute. And he called her sexy?? What?? When they are on together it makes me cringe with the awkwardness for them. And what's the deal with his bad acting soap opera face when things start to get intimate, that bugs me to no end too. And the electricity when we touch comments with Bevin were so cheesy. I feel like I am back in 7th grade when I watch him, bless his heart, SERIOUSLY!
Andy is Val Kilmer's character from Top Gun, was it Ice? It's the cheesy wrinkled brow and all those teeth and I AM the doctor comments. I do love Top Gun though, can't help it, total 80's indulgence or was it 90's, I must be getting old :(
Great catches Lincee...it was a great show...but as always...an even better recap...but...i really don't know who to root for...i liked Amber better before last night...yet, I'll get by, because we Texas girls are strong...FYI interested parties...in case you missed Lincee's posts last season, and one of the first ones just this season (her top 10 I believe) She is a single Texas gal!
Looks like I'm one of the few, but I like Tina. She actually seems like she has a good head on her shoulders and is not a psycho chick. (not that there aren't plenty of psycho medical students) More like someone who a doc/triathelete would marry and not just do in a hot tub - guess it's television though.
Having sustained an ankle injury in the past, it would take more than a few cocktails to wear the heels all night - she full of bs. Worked it for all she could though.
So probably a clever girl.
Psycho Steph - yes, they had to be fake.
Absolutely, no respectable southern girl would let the spanx show but have to admit even skinny girls need the spanx sometimes.
As for the kissing - yes, very wierd but then again, if you had the ABC camera man zooming in on your mouth, figure you'd be a little off your game as well - I'm just saying...
Where are the straight guys from seasons past? We miss you guys.
Thanks Lincee - love Tuesdays!
Ditto to everything! Especially dropping the questions about Lincee's relationship status - good grief!!!!!!
I probably covered my eyes and cringed during that episode more than I have for any other (at least that is the way it seems today) :)
I like the idea that Kate is a mole - however, she did apologize to him for saying all of those things, so I don't know.
I can't WAIT until next week - Hope you all have a good one :)
Here's my theory on the straw....
I think Andy perhaps has some newer/recent veneers on his teeth. He's drinking through straws as to not mess up the work?
That's my thought. Anyway - if you'll notice in the most recent issue of Cosmo - Andy was a Cosmo boy a couple of years ago!
From MLM's sister)
Loved Kates look during the rose ceremony and Stephanie's breasts, how much fabric tape did that get up take anyway? I nominate Bevin as the next in line for "psycho babe". She is conniving and manipulative and I predict her manic tendencies will really start to blossom in the next few episodes
Kate as a mole???? Holy Cow! That is perfect! The comments about them having no chemistry, awesome observation. Her Harpo faces were priceless! How abou this? She is the mystery person he invites on one of his one-on-one dates next week? Why does he invite her to join them? Kate is his sister!!!!!!!! What a perfect plant to help him figure out who these girls really are.....brilliant!
Loved watching the show with you, Lincee. You are welcome at our house any Monday night :-)
Okay, Halpert faces...not Harpo...sorry!
I was so glad that Stephanie got kicked off. What's the deal with the other Stephanie? They didn't show her much at all this episode.
Y'all!
I was flipping through the channels this morning when who else did I see but Prince Renzy hocking doggie shampoo on QVC!! Let the record show that I was not watching QVC only channel surfing. He apparently is trying to maintain his stature as a prince by selling "royal" doggie wipes. (I mean, they contain Aloe so they gotta be good.)and shower in a bottle for poochie. I wonder why you never see Prince Will on QVC...
Lincee, regardless of your recent marriage to Jose (!), I think it would be amazing if you could work your way onto the show as one of the girls! Of course your contract would have to include that you could maintain this blog (not giving away future info of course). How fun would it be if we could get your take on the girls after living with them?!
I know, crazy random though, but I for one would love it.
I can't believe you didn't recap the end where Punky broke down! That was, by far, solid gold entertainment!!!
I watched this episode with my sister and a guy friend. He pointed out that he always raises his eyebrows when in conversation. Hte rest of the night, I couldn't stop noticing. Next week, I think we are going to make it a drinking game!
The spanx were priceless! My sister and I laughed harder every time you could see them! Also, I broke my ankle last year, and there is NO way that you can walk on heels!
I love Chris Harrison, so I kind of felt a little sorry for him when he spilled the champagne when he clinked the glass.
I love Amber, but am starting to like Tessa. She reminds me of Meredith.
regarding your question about the ESPN blog link from the Bachelor site - ABC owns ESPN - no brainer
Lincee,
Funniest blog this season, I think. You should just tell everybody that you left the drunk after he crashed into a fence and killed a chicken and they'll leave you alone. It worked for me.
I think they need to get the best kissing interns to pre-test all bachelors before they land these shows. I could care less if he was a previous nerd. He looks good now. But damn - who wants to marry a guy who not only can't kiss but spend hours a day in the gym. Blech...
Who was the guy that Meredith dumped before Ian. I loved him!! Does anyone know if he got married or what he's up to?
Bevin is the new psycho....The girls are startin' to hate... she's like that Mowana chick from last time. Wah! Wah!
Bring back the bachelorette! I nominate Tessa. She's not into Andy enough anyways.
All the Andrew's I know that go by Andy drink through straws. The Drew's don't use straws. The Drew's are hot!
Yay for recaps!
Apparently, I am the only person who didn't notice Bev wearing Spanx. I hope I still have the show recorded so I can go back and see them. Do people really wear those on dates?
I'm at a toss up as to who is leaving next week. I think the Bach hasn't tried to kiss Tina b/c he might really like her, and respects her(not that he doesn't respect the other women, but Tina carries herself differently). I'm not so confident in saying she'll go home next week. I kind of hope he keeps her around b/c her awkward questions crack me up! "You can't afford that?!?"
I'm still stuck on the straw thing. I don't think Andy is doing it to protect his dental work. I have two veneers, and I was never told that not drinking from a straw would mess anything up. Perhaps he thinks it'll just get him drunk faster(even though that's a myth). They're all falling in love with beer goggles on. Fantastic.
not that i am a bachelor "stalker", but after the article in the houston chronicle about amber and her teaching dilema, i looked up her school's website....she is not listed there as a faculty member?? fired, or quit to prepare for a wedding?!?
I LOVE your blog!!!! I can totally see Chris saying "I call BS" with his wine glass in his left hand and his fist in the air!!! so funny!!!
I look forward to reading many more of your entries!!!
Thanks for the laughs!!!
Jaime
If you go to ABC.com and watch the season premier, on 1:03 minutes you hear crying from the girl who gets the last rose and ring. I think I know who it is but I won't spoil it if you want to figure it out yourself.
I can't tell from the cry!!!! I listened to it over & over.....Tessa????
I hate to say it, but the cry kind of sounds like Bev...or maybe it's just that we've heard her cry so much lately it's just stuck in my head..... I hope it's Tessa
my predictions of who I think will get the boot next week:
Dani
Tina
Who I want to get the boot:
Bevin
Amber
Who I want to win: Tessa - I think he likes her, because she is the only one who is making him chase her - She's not bending over backwards and most of us know that guys like the chase! :)
WHAT DOES "CARRY IT CLOSE, OKAY?" MEAN?????????
Did any of you catch the "spoiler" that was posted on uTube of Bevin and OAG in what looked like a rainforest? The video was a home movie shot by Bevin. My thoughts are that it's from after the show...in other words, Bevin wins. Did anyone who saw it get a different impression?
Lincee, Just wanted to let you know Andrew Firestone was in Denver this past weekend and I got to meet him. He was very nice and way cuter in person! In addition, our first doctor, Travis is moving to Denver (he is in Breckenridge right now).
4:33...I didn't see the video, but I think the final three go back to Hawaii with Andy and some or all go into the rainforest to hike, etc. It could just be a video she took while the show was being filmed as well.
I'm so glad south carolina is gone...
anonymous 3:56.
I took "carry it close" to mean, watch out for the back-stabbing Bee-atches
6:07...thank you for the information! It was killing me "knowing" who had won!
That spoiler better not be true, if Bevin wins I'll puke... Put your h.m. radar on Andy. She is way too much maintenance for your sports lovin' guy's guy self. I wish they'd have a girls guy on next time. Someone who's hot, but humble. Sensitive...but not a pushover. Someone who loves the outdoors...but will read her poetry by the fire. Someone who's a fantastic kisser, but waits until later and only kisses a select few, not psychos and lame asses. Damn, where have all the good guys gone?
hey 6:07,
does andrew have a girlfriend now? his was the first season i ever watched and he is still the best bach ever. i want him to end up with someone awesome. what about Dr. McHottie? is he making a "connection" with anyone?
Does anyone know what happened to the Bachelor diary? Didn't all of The Bachelors used to keep diaries that ABC posted on their website after each show?? I don't see them there now. Anyone??
LINCEE! You are utterly amazing! I read part of your blog to my husband, and while he finds the show ridiculous, he laughed out loud after hearing your blog.
I TOTALLY missed the spanx! And I've already deleted it from my dvr, shoot!
Glad Stephanie, SC is gone. Her boobs are most definitely fake, no normal woman has boobs that perfectly round, bleh...she was gross.
Can't wait for next week!
Umm was anyone else thinking what I was when Bevin was all whiney and cry-ey like "I want to show you the real me, but I can't b/c I'm hurt!" Not to get all philosophical but the "real me" is the the one that comes out when you're down and out... All I have to say is - not impressed.
Although, what do I know, I somehow missed the Spanx.
PS. WHY did it take us till episode 5 to point out Stephanie SC's bolt-ons. There is no secret why she got the first impression rose, as she practically bounced them off his corneas on the way out of the limo.
Yes, anonymous you are right! Bev is way whiney. Usually men are notoriously whiney when they are not feeling well. But usually when women grow up we get tough. Preparing us for motherhood when we don't have jack to care for us when we get sick. And so we learn to suck it up and deal. It's only a sprain, it's not like she broke it. She's a putz.
6:07 & 6:36,
I saw that video on utube before it was pulled and I almost thought the same thing (that is was home shot by Bev after the show), but I think I remember Andy saying "I'm on a fantasy date with Bev" and also at the end of the video, when they round the bend on the river you can see another canoe like boat in the near background with professional like video equipment. So, I think that video is just from one of the last dates before the final rose ceremony...
I am working for Kate right now! This was so funny! She cracks me up every time I talk to her. She told me some things about Steph SC before but never said anything bad about the other girls. I know she never really liked Andy. She thought he was nice but thats about it. She really is a fun person to be around!
Who do we think wins? I can't tell from the video. Someone tell me, I really can't wait. I hope isn't Bev but Tessa or Amber. Although, Tessa would be a great choice for the next bachelorette.
I'll be out of the country for a month from 5/9 and want to set up the VCR for the remaining shows before I leave. Does anyone know if they are all going to be 75-min. shows airing at the same time each Monday? Or will there be a 2-hour finale. I can't seem to find the schedule posted anywhere.
If the 5/7 show will be hometown dates, I figure the 4/14 show will be the remaining 3 women for the "forgo" fantasy dates. That will get us down to the final two. Will there be a WTA show as usual the following week, then the final rose show on 5/28? And is there any word of an ATFR show scheduled for 5/28 or 6/4, since apparently there's a proposal at the end of this series? (Seems pathetic even to care, but I find Lincee's recaps the more hilarious if I've seen the shows myself.)
4:40pm that is definitely a great question for the handsome Still Our Host Chris Harrison to answer...I tried figuring it out and got a brain freeze.
1:19pm My guess is Tessa and Dani in the final two. The obvious choices are Amber and Bev based on their latest "sort of" makeout sessions. However, I think ABC is trying to trick us. You know, Dani and Tessa don't have as much camera time, but he could be doing the weird kissing thing with them as well...ABC editing will fool me not! :)
11:51am Please tell Kate that random Jenn in Austin waves "Hi". I feel as though I know her, and her one-liners were spot on funny!
~BFF Jenn
Anon 4:40 PM
I just ran downstairs to check my TIVO for you and it is only showing the next two shows.
4/30 @ 8:45 pm (central time) for 1 hour 15 min
5/7 @ 8:31 pm (central time) for 1 hour 29 minutes--this one is the hometown dates.
The TIVO is supposed to update tonight. It so I will leave you a comment again with further info.
US Lincee... oooppss I mean Bachelor ;) fans have to stick together!
Does anyone else think that sometimes, certain things about Andy: O&G remind you of Andrew Firestone? Like, a look or a facial expression . . . I've noticed that a few times, actually.
The other guy Meredith had to choose between (besides Ian) was named Matt. He was a sweetheart, wasn't he?? I hope he found someone great - - too bad Meredith and Ian didn't work out. I liked Meredith a lot.
Tina? Just don't get it.
I actually think she and Andy seem to have ZERO chemistry, but that he likes her and her company, but as a friend. He would rather have her around to talk to than keep the 3 he let go home this week, and who could blame him???
Bevin? Sheesh.
If he doesn't see her for the fake whiny-butt that she is, then he deserves to end up with her.
She is a moody, pouty, downer.
Why did he find it acceptable for her to bring the whole night down, with her self-absorbed cry-baby drama-fest? He should have been annoyed by that . . I mean, what guy is ATTRACTED to a girl who can't try to find the best in a difficult situation? Oh, that's right - - the kind of guy who's like Dr. Jack Shepherd from Lost . . Andy has a savior complex. ANDY TO THE RESCUE!! "I'll save you, Bevin. I must. I am a doctor."
And let's face it - - is Bev really so bad off???
It could be SO MUCH worse.
I wish Andy would find her lack of positivity a big red flag.
I really, REALLY like Tessa.
I think Tessa seems 'real' and sweet and genuine. I think any guy would find a good partner and friend in Tessa, and those are such important foundations.
Dr. Phil in female form, signing off, hee hee.
Chris Harrison, our host - - where are you???
To the person wondering how long the next episodes would be so you can set your VCR, here's the solution: Get Tivo. Or DVR. You will not regret it! Nothing is worse than getting home and finding that you've run out of tape and haved missed vital Bachelor scenes!
Does anyone else notice that he calls himself 'Doctor' a lot? Like we need to be reminded.
I made the switch from TiVo to DVR and DVR has WAYWAYWAY more memory. Like omg. TiVo only saved about 10 shows and DVR saves tons...30+ I hate to say but DVR ROCKS over beloved ole' TiVo.
Lincee, still hilarious. loveyougirl. # 1 fan
I literally snorted in my office when you talked about the fart. Maybe if O&G started doing that my husband would actually watch!
Okay, I love the recap, but have never posted a comment before. I was just checking out the ABC website. They have "episode guides" on there. In episode one, as the girls are getting out of the limos, this was the exerpt from Kate. It makes the whole Kate as spy theory very intersting...
"Kate strikes a model's pose outside the limo and then announces, "I'm the girl with the short dress," as she walks over to throw her arms around Andy. His hands linger around her waist as she knowingly says, "We have stuff to talk about," before going inside."
I have to say that your blog is my SECOND favorite site ONLY next to this one. Thought you'd like it too!
http://www.quotesfromtheoffice.com/
I so enjoy your recap each week. I truly think Andy is smokin' hot when his mouth is closed - refraining from talking and kissing. I see the potential.
As for the Spanx - amazingly and utterly embarrassing for Bev!
I happened on this site by accident as apparently my wife had seen it and was in my internet "history" and I decided to read a bit. I haven't even been watching the bachelor this season (or the last 3 i don't think) but i was sucked in. your blog is just hilarious. let's just say 3 hours later, i'm pretty caught up.
for those that missed the Spanx (which as a guy of course i had to google) remember you can watch full episodes on the official abc site. which i am now (un?)fortunately well acquainted with.
Kate... love the theory. Her facial expressions were priceless!
Lincee where are you? I am dying for the recap!!!
Our bachelor went to new heights with the "DOUBLE straw in one cup" date with Tes... quite frankly, I was surprised he didn't drink his wine with a straw on his date with Steph
Does anyone else think Tessa looks like Amy Grant?!
Yes!! I thought she looked like Amy Grant from the first time I saw her!!
It is so tremendously obvious to me that he ends up with Tessa. They seem genuinely in love.
he picks tessa. obvious from the 2nd episode. really, he does pick tessa
When Andy and Tessa are together they are the most natural. Even their kissing looked "right" not uncomfortable. Not to mention she isn't climbing all over him like Bevin.
Bev is CRAZY - O&G dump her PLEASE!!!
And, since when is it 4 hometown dates? Wasn't only 3 in the past seasons or am I smoking something????
Dear Andy, I'm divorced, oops, forgot to let you know that right away. So anyway...
Love, Bevin
P.S.
I now KNOW what I want and where I'm going because I am so experienced and knowledgabe and such
Looking forward to attacking you again,
Bev
P.P.S. And I'm not really 28, I am 34.
XOXO,
Bev
LOL...why use the word Spanx when 'girdle' is sooo much more embarrassing?
BUT I have to say that in my professional opinion, Bevin is not wearing any shapewear. I think that white material squeezing her left thigh is a garter like thingy that is used to secure her wireless microphone. You can see it showing through some of the other gals dresses and outfits in earlier episodes.
did anyone notice he let all the South Carolina gals go? all 3 were from SC.
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