So there I was in my kitchen wearing only a string bikini, mixing drinks as usual, when three thoughts occurred to me.
1. The pronunciation of our Bachelor’s last name. Womack. ABC is adamant, almost forceful, with the emphasis on the WOE in Womack. A hard WOE if you will. This is merely an observation.
1. The pronunciation of our Bachelor’s last name. Womack. ABC is adamant, almost forceful, with the emphasis on the WOE in Womack. A hard WOE if you will. This is merely an observation.
2. How cute is our host Chris Harrison? Isn’t he super adorable when he discusses that Brad WOmack will be taking the girls on two group dates? Precious!
3. Breast Cancer Awareness York Peppermint Patties. Complete with a pink center! I suggest you run and buy several bags today. Not only are they tasty, but support a great cause!
SIMPLE DISCLAIMER
SIMPLE DISCLAIMER
The following information you are about to read is of personal opinion. You probably aren’t even reading this because the simple disclaimer has been a part of my recap since the days I emailed this puppy to just a few of my closer friends. HA! Fooled you. You’ve skipped this witty banter and will not know what in the world your friends are talking about when they say, “Did you like the new disclaimer Lincee did?” However, if you or someone on your Facebook page happens to personally know, sort of know, know the brother/cousin of, thought you saw in the grocery store buying spaghetti O’s or have a Pilates instructor that looks exactly like one of the Bachelorettes on the show...none of this is personal and I'm sure they are all lovely people.
Date One
Join me for a day at the races!
Erin
McCarten
Kristy
Mallory
Hillary
Jade
DeAHnna
As the girls reveal little fake horses, binoculars and betting tickets from the big date box, there was really only one thing that kept running through my mind…
Would you wear the big hat?
I know it is a fun tradition and I’m sure those hats are the latest trends on the fashion runway. However, some were literally big enough to shelter four people from a torrential downpour and I don’t know if I would have chosen that moment to try and pull it off. I’m just saying.
Back to the race track.
Brad is in serious mode. He is in this to find a wife and wastes no time in admitting to the camera that he wants good detailed conversations with these ladies. He is interested to see who bets big and who plays it safe, because you can learn a lot from a gambler. You learn when to hold em, when to fold em, when to walk away and when to run. And let’s face it…Brad needs to run, screaming, from some of these women.
The first one-on-one time we see is with Hillary. You remember her. The one I thought was the cute girl-next-door from Philadelphia? Well guess what? She’s the girl-next-door that will stab you in the back with the same knife she keys your car. But we’ll get to that later.
Hill and Brad feed carrots to the horses, laugh, hold hands and discuss surface issues like the weather as he rubs the small of her back. On a scale from one to 10, Hill tells Brad he is an 11.5! She then tells the camera that she will kick anyone in their shins if they mess with her man. I’d be willing to bet she’d scratch your eyes out too. Literally.
I’m not quite sure what ABC is trying to pimp this next moment, but Shaun Phillips of the San Diego Chargers saunters into the luxury box. He gives the girls t-shirts and steps outside to discuss his first impressions with Bradley. He thinks that McCracken is awesome (probably because she was the only one who knew who he was) and he thinks DD is cool.
So then Brad…wait a minute…what? Back up. Who the heck is DD?
After a quick rewind of the DVR, I learn that DD is none other than DAHnna. Guess she created a nickname for herself because we ALL KNOW that she doesn’t like to be called DeANNa.
Where was I?
So then Brad gets a phone call from Michelle. Home girl has gone and “fallen” down the stairs. Luckily, Sheena was there to “find” her laying flat on her back and immediately called and ambulance. The girls were SO CONCERNED that not one of them accompanied her to the hospital. Brad learns that she has a concussion.
McCracken: “She has a concussion and can call you from the hospital?”
Nice. Class act right there. Later, McCracken wonders how Michelle got Brad’s phone number? Feeling that she is losing her psycho death grip, she chooses to snag him away for some alone time. Action must be taken!
And here we are. It’s the moment. You know the one I’m talking about and my blood pressure is rising just typing the words. My brain is swelling from remembering the scene. All of you by now know that I spend half of the show hiding behind a couch pillow, screaming “STOP IT” to the TV while rocking myself back and forth in hopes to comfort my rotting soul.
And this moment was no different.
MC: “I want to make a toast to new beginnings and perfect dates.”
BW: “OK. That sounds great. You know…”
MC interrupting: “Or I could just kiss you.”
Poor Brad isn’t even looking anywhere near her face. His focus is concentrating on his boot, his champagne, the splendor of the grass…I don’t know, but my boy starts talking about how glad he was that they were at the horse races when McCracken lays one on him in mid-sentence.
I’m not one to judge and say that’s not attractive…to interrupt a conversation with a kiss. It can be very exciting! Typically though, there is a moment…a split second moment…where the other person gets it, eyes lock, a flash of a flirty smile, mere millimeters away from each other…and you know they would rather make out than talk. It’s mutual.
This, dear reader, was not that moment.
As I mentioned, Brad has yet to make eye contact with McCracken. It’s unsure if he didn’t hear her, or was choosing to ignore the comment. Regardless, she’s panicking and chooses to go in for the kill because time is running out. He begins to turn towards her when she leans in and lands sort of in the vicinity of where the cheek, meets the end of the nose, meets the corner of the mouth. Brad, freaking out, decides to keep talking. He muffles out something about being glad she is with him. And as I type this, the awkwardness is STILL HAPPENING. He won’t quit babbling. She won’t stop kissing.
It is at this point when I go from comfort rocking and muttering of my signature, “Nonononononononono,” behind my couch pillow to a mixture of pacing the living room floor, sitting, standing, pacing, screaming and literally walking into the kitchen away from Satan’s box because I am quite honestly that embarrassed. It was so bad, that I didn’t care there were a few things I probably missed. I race back in the room when I hear Brad talking. And I am so glad I made it in time for him to admit to the camera:
“We shared a kiss…and it wasn’t that good.” He melts into a fit of giggles, which makes me adore him even after that hideous display of affection. Let the record show that I blame McCracken. At this point in the night, I still had hope for Brad’s kissing abilities.
Back to business.
DeAHnna tells Brad she was in a relationship for five years. He commends her for her commitment. She said he cheated and she would never be unfaithful. He praises her honesty as he fastens a flyaway hair behind her ear. She admits that it’s hard to vie for his attention, but she came in with open mind. What you see is what you get. Brad gives her the date rose and tells her he wants to keep her around as long as she wants to be around. See? Guys love a challenge!
Date Two
Let’s get half naked with the hoochie mammas!
Bettina
Stephy
Sheena
Sarah
Katie Couric
Lindsey
Solisa
After a quick bikini fashion show to remind the Date One girls that Brad will be seeing their boobs and butts, the seven girls blow kisses to the camera and head to the coast with Brad in his 1960s “Surfin’ USA” Beach Boys automobile.
Girls are cartwheeling on the beach, playing football, “surfing” and pulling wedgies. A fun time was had by all.
Brad takes his position behind the bar to make everyone drinks. The girls are extremely annoyed that Brad has not taken his shirt off. Lincee is extremely annoyed that Brad has not taken his shirt off.
Finally, Stephy succeeds with the removal of the dark blue fitted tee and confesses to the camera that what is underneath was good…really good. I would have to agree with that statement.
Now that shirts are off, the party can get into full swing. Brad pours a round of shots and Katie Couric toasts the group: “Here’s to the north…here’s to the south…here’s to finding out what he can do with his mouth!”
ABC…America’s family network.
Sarah steals some alone time with Brad. They talk and talk about things they have in common…like they were both once 21…and Brad tells the camera that he loves her disposition. He thinks she is down-to-earth and has a lot of fun talking to her. He gives her the date rose and she cheeses out for him.
Let the record show that I think she will go far, but I don’t think he would pick someone that young. We shall see.
When they return to the party, Solisa, bless her heart, asks Brad to do a body shot. Some salt is sprinkled and licked off her collar bone, tequila is sucked out of her belly button and a lemon is gnawed out of her mouth.
Again…fun for the whole family.
Poor Bettina wants to throw up. Brad is cautious. He’s trying to stay open-mined. “Hey…if you are fun and wild, that’s fine. Just show me the real you.”
So she does. Cut to Solisa sharing her faith with Brad as she lectures him on how important values are to her. Oh…and she is comfortable with her body and there’s nothing to be ashamed of.
Great.
Not to be outdone by Solisa, Stephy decides to belly up to the bar and take a shot off our bachelor. He looked EXTREMELY uncomfortable.
I think I’ll replay this episode at the Ray Family Christmas.
Brad finally finds some one-on-one time with his favorite audience, Katie Couric. He simply can’t NOT laugh and/or smile when he’s with her. They get caught up in a moment and start to make out. It wasn’t bad. I can concur that it was leaps and bounds better than the “other episode” we discussed early.
Meanwhile, back at the Bachelorette pad, Jade and Hillary “find” Katie Couric’s modeling book by jimmying the lock on her suitcase. They quickly spread the word that she is only there to advance her career.
RETURN OF THE HOT TUB! WHOOT!
Although we didn’t spend too much time in the hot tub, I’m quite sure that the ABC intern will provide many more steamy scenes for our viewing pleasure in the future. After toasting to life, love and happiness, Brad asks the group what the craziest thing they’ve ever done. Instead of answering the question, Lindsey tells all the crazy things she has NEVER done. One includes going skinny dipping.
Sister Solisa takes this opportunity to whip off her top and go bounding in the ocean. Bachelorettes gone WILD indeed!
Sadly, no one followed…not even Bradley. Kind of reminded me of the time Will Farrell enthusiastically encouraged the crowd to go streaking in the quad on Old School.
ROSE CEREMONY
First thing on agenda is to check up on Michelle. He’s worried she will feel bad that he’s kicking her off after falling down the stairs.
Bettina wants to have the BIG D conversation but chickens out. Instead she tells him that she can’t imagine anywhere else she’d rather be.
Mallory tells him that if they get together, she will require breakfast in bed and refuses to work for a living.
Katie Couric overhears Hillary and Jade tell the other girls about the modeling book they “happened” upon in Katie Couric’s suitcase. Katie Couric cries in the bathroom to a very bored looking DeAHnna. Her advice? Don’t trust anybody. But Katie Couric is a good person and needs other to accept her. She runs off to make friendship bracelets.
Jade (not a trash talker) advises the Bachelor that some people here want to further their career and to just be aware. She also throws in that she’s not going to flaunt her ta-ta’s...just for good measure.
I’m sure to no one’s surprise, Michelle, Erin and Mallory are out. I still have no clue who Sheena is.
But I’m super excited about next week! Brad activates his wonder twin power and talks Chad into visiting with the girls at the rose ceremony! Can. Not. Wait.
All about the shame, not the fame,
Lincee
Date One
Join me for a day at the races!
Erin
McCarten
Kristy
Mallory
Hillary
Jade
DeAHnna
As the girls reveal little fake horses, binoculars and betting tickets from the big date box, there was really only one thing that kept running through my mind…
Would you wear the big hat?
I know it is a fun tradition and I’m sure those hats are the latest trends on the fashion runway. However, some were literally big enough to shelter four people from a torrential downpour and I don’t know if I would have chosen that moment to try and pull it off. I’m just saying.
Back to the race track.
Brad is in serious mode. He is in this to find a wife and wastes no time in admitting to the camera that he wants good detailed conversations with these ladies. He is interested to see who bets big and who plays it safe, because you can learn a lot from a gambler. You learn when to hold em, when to fold em, when to walk away and when to run. And let’s face it…Brad needs to run, screaming, from some of these women.
The first one-on-one time we see is with Hillary. You remember her. The one I thought was the cute girl-next-door from Philadelphia? Well guess what? She’s the girl-next-door that will stab you in the back with the same knife she keys your car. But we’ll get to that later.
Hill and Brad feed carrots to the horses, laugh, hold hands and discuss surface issues like the weather as he rubs the small of her back. On a scale from one to 10, Hill tells Brad he is an 11.5! She then tells the camera that she will kick anyone in their shins if they mess with her man. I’d be willing to bet she’d scratch your eyes out too. Literally.
I’m not quite sure what ABC is trying to pimp this next moment, but Shaun Phillips of the San Diego Chargers saunters into the luxury box. He gives the girls t-shirts and steps outside to discuss his first impressions with Bradley. He thinks that McCracken is awesome (probably because she was the only one who knew who he was) and he thinks DD is cool.
So then Brad…wait a minute…what? Back up. Who the heck is DD?
After a quick rewind of the DVR, I learn that DD is none other than DAHnna. Guess she created a nickname for herself because we ALL KNOW that she doesn’t like to be called DeANNa.
Where was I?
So then Brad gets a phone call from Michelle. Home girl has gone and “fallen” down the stairs. Luckily, Sheena was there to “find” her laying flat on her back and immediately called and ambulance. The girls were SO CONCERNED that not one of them accompanied her to the hospital. Brad learns that she has a concussion.
McCracken: “She has a concussion and can call you from the hospital?”
Nice. Class act right there. Later, McCracken wonders how Michelle got Brad’s phone number? Feeling that she is losing her psycho death grip, she chooses to snag him away for some alone time. Action must be taken!
And here we are. It’s the moment. You know the one I’m talking about and my blood pressure is rising just typing the words. My brain is swelling from remembering the scene. All of you by now know that I spend half of the show hiding behind a couch pillow, screaming “STOP IT” to the TV while rocking myself back and forth in hopes to comfort my rotting soul.
And this moment was no different.
MC: “I want to make a toast to new beginnings and perfect dates.”
BW: “OK. That sounds great. You know…”
MC interrupting: “Or I could just kiss you.”
Poor Brad isn’t even looking anywhere near her face. His focus is concentrating on his boot, his champagne, the splendor of the grass…I don’t know, but my boy starts talking about how glad he was that they were at the horse races when McCracken lays one on him in mid-sentence.
I’m not one to judge and say that’s not attractive…to interrupt a conversation with a kiss. It can be very exciting! Typically though, there is a moment…a split second moment…where the other person gets it, eyes lock, a flash of a flirty smile, mere millimeters away from each other…and you know they would rather make out than talk. It’s mutual.
This, dear reader, was not that moment.
As I mentioned, Brad has yet to make eye contact with McCracken. It’s unsure if he didn’t hear her, or was choosing to ignore the comment. Regardless, she’s panicking and chooses to go in for the kill because time is running out. He begins to turn towards her when she leans in and lands sort of in the vicinity of where the cheek, meets the end of the nose, meets the corner of the mouth. Brad, freaking out, decides to keep talking. He muffles out something about being glad she is with him. And as I type this, the awkwardness is STILL HAPPENING. He won’t quit babbling. She won’t stop kissing.
It is at this point when I go from comfort rocking and muttering of my signature, “Nonononononononono,” behind my couch pillow to a mixture of pacing the living room floor, sitting, standing, pacing, screaming and literally walking into the kitchen away from Satan’s box because I am quite honestly that embarrassed. It was so bad, that I didn’t care there were a few things I probably missed. I race back in the room when I hear Brad talking. And I am so glad I made it in time for him to admit to the camera:
“We shared a kiss…and it wasn’t that good.” He melts into a fit of giggles, which makes me adore him even after that hideous display of affection. Let the record show that I blame McCracken. At this point in the night, I still had hope for Brad’s kissing abilities.
Back to business.
DeAHnna tells Brad she was in a relationship for five years. He commends her for her commitment. She said he cheated and she would never be unfaithful. He praises her honesty as he fastens a flyaway hair behind her ear. She admits that it’s hard to vie for his attention, but she came in with open mind. What you see is what you get. Brad gives her the date rose and tells her he wants to keep her around as long as she wants to be around. See? Guys love a challenge!
Date Two
Let’s get half naked with the hoochie mammas!
Bettina
Stephy
Sheena
Sarah
Katie Couric
Lindsey
Solisa
After a quick bikini fashion show to remind the Date One girls that Brad will be seeing their boobs and butts, the seven girls blow kisses to the camera and head to the coast with Brad in his 1960s “Surfin’ USA” Beach Boys automobile.
Girls are cartwheeling on the beach, playing football, “surfing” and pulling wedgies. A fun time was had by all.
Brad takes his position behind the bar to make everyone drinks. The girls are extremely annoyed that Brad has not taken his shirt off. Lincee is extremely annoyed that Brad has not taken his shirt off.
Finally, Stephy succeeds with the removal of the dark blue fitted tee and confesses to the camera that what is underneath was good…really good. I would have to agree with that statement.
Now that shirts are off, the party can get into full swing. Brad pours a round of shots and Katie Couric toasts the group: “Here’s to the north…here’s to the south…here’s to finding out what he can do with his mouth!”
ABC…America’s family network.
Sarah steals some alone time with Brad. They talk and talk about things they have in common…like they were both once 21…and Brad tells the camera that he loves her disposition. He thinks she is down-to-earth and has a lot of fun talking to her. He gives her the date rose and she cheeses out for him.
Let the record show that I think she will go far, but I don’t think he would pick someone that young. We shall see.
When they return to the party, Solisa, bless her heart, asks Brad to do a body shot. Some salt is sprinkled and licked off her collar bone, tequila is sucked out of her belly button and a lemon is gnawed out of her mouth.
Again…fun for the whole family.
Poor Bettina wants to throw up. Brad is cautious. He’s trying to stay open-mined. “Hey…if you are fun and wild, that’s fine. Just show me the real you.”
So she does. Cut to Solisa sharing her faith with Brad as she lectures him on how important values are to her. Oh…and she is comfortable with her body and there’s nothing to be ashamed of.
Great.
Not to be outdone by Solisa, Stephy decides to belly up to the bar and take a shot off our bachelor. He looked EXTREMELY uncomfortable.
I think I’ll replay this episode at the Ray Family Christmas.
Brad finally finds some one-on-one time with his favorite audience, Katie Couric. He simply can’t NOT laugh and/or smile when he’s with her. They get caught up in a moment and start to make out. It wasn’t bad. I can concur that it was leaps and bounds better than the “other episode” we discussed early.
Meanwhile, back at the Bachelorette pad, Jade and Hillary “find” Katie Couric’s modeling book by jimmying the lock on her suitcase. They quickly spread the word that she is only there to advance her career.
RETURN OF THE HOT TUB! WHOOT!
Although we didn’t spend too much time in the hot tub, I’m quite sure that the ABC intern will provide many more steamy scenes for our viewing pleasure in the future. After toasting to life, love and happiness, Brad asks the group what the craziest thing they’ve ever done. Instead of answering the question, Lindsey tells all the crazy things she has NEVER done. One includes going skinny dipping.
Sister Solisa takes this opportunity to whip off her top and go bounding in the ocean. Bachelorettes gone WILD indeed!
Sadly, no one followed…not even Bradley. Kind of reminded me of the time Will Farrell enthusiastically encouraged the crowd to go streaking in the quad on Old School.
ROSE CEREMONY
First thing on agenda is to check up on Michelle. He’s worried she will feel bad that he’s kicking her off after falling down the stairs.
Bettina wants to have the BIG D conversation but chickens out. Instead she tells him that she can’t imagine anywhere else she’d rather be.
Mallory tells him that if they get together, she will require breakfast in bed and refuses to work for a living.
Katie Couric overhears Hillary and Jade tell the other girls about the modeling book they “happened” upon in Katie Couric’s suitcase. Katie Couric cries in the bathroom to a very bored looking DeAHnna. Her advice? Don’t trust anybody. But Katie Couric is a good person and needs other to accept her. She runs off to make friendship bracelets.
Jade (not a trash talker) advises the Bachelor that some people here want to further their career and to just be aware. She also throws in that she’s not going to flaunt her ta-ta’s...just for good measure.
I’m sure to no one’s surprise, Michelle, Erin and Mallory are out. I still have no clue who Sheena is.
But I’m super excited about next week! Brad activates his wonder twin power and talks Chad into visiting with the girls at the rose ceremony! Can. Not. Wait.
All about the shame, not the fame,
Lincee
117 comments:
Great recap, Lincee!
I love how Jade says she's not here with an agenda of furthering her career...
Check out her old boss has to say on Nashville's local news:
http://www.wkrn.com/nashville/news/nashville-ladies-on-this-seasons-bachelor/119769.htm#top
I just want to know which "Christian" church Solisa goes to? The Church of T&A???
Wow...just- wow. I'm sure Jesus is P-R-O-U-D.
Jade really wasn't there to further her career. She wants to work in for a nonprofit organization helping people. This was somethign for fun.
Thank you for the numerous times you made me laugh out loud reading this recap. I, too, was hiding me head under a pillow several times during the show. Just so hard to hear some of those conversations!
Lincee you caught it all....thanks for the laughs - your recaps make this show so much more fun!!!!
If I were Katie Couric I'd be kickin some Jade a$$ - how dare she just dig through her stuff like that.... Too bad Katie is such a sweetheart - that could have made for a great catfight!
The recap is dead on Lincee - the Old School reference had me rolling, & now I can't get Will Ferrell's naked a$$ out of my head!
hey Jade you are not welcome to post here to defend your self. You are a trouble maker and we are all gald that you are gone soon, peace out you pain.
I loved the Jim Halpert face on all the girls at the race track after butterface called Brad with a concussion.
That was so over-hyped, btw. They barely explained what happened, other than she fell down the stairs. I'm thinking she was after her Bevin moment..and it backfired.
Didn't Kristy get ousted too?
Just an observation - DD or DeAHnna (whatever) has a cool voice - for once - someone isn't squeaky, whining and doesn't sound like they are 12 - nice change! I think she'll go far! Also, I was trying to get a handle on the Katie Couric vs. J.Love Hewitt thing - and it occurred to me that when Jen is laughing and smiling she's definitely Katie, BUT when she's crying and all distressed - she had that 'I'm being haunted - ghost whisperer thing going on.' Have to say - Jade from Nashville is disappointing me - thought she'd show so good southern character - nope - she's showing the really bratty, bitchy side of the south - I can only hope that perhaps she wasn't actually born here - that would make me feel better... I mean who goes through someone's luggage!!! Manners people!!!! RUDE!!!!!!!
Who thinks the twin looks more fraternal identical?? If these brilliant girls cannot tell the difference I will be shocked and amazed. Wait, no I won't. These would be the same girls who couldn't understand why a concussion wouldn't render you speechless; ie "How could she call him??? Doesn't she have a concussion???" Because it is a well known fact that a concussion causes utter and immediate loss of consciousness, right?
Solisa so made a fool out of herself. I'm thinking it was those collagen lips that made her say that stuff about morals and being christian. She just couldn't controll them.
McCarten also made a fool of herself. Who tries to makeout with a guy while he's talking. Embarrasing.
Jade's gonna be TROUBLE!!!!! Fun! Fun!!!
Did anyone else notice at the racetrack that when Brad filled the girls in on Michele's fall that to of them (Kristy and another girl I can't remember) both snickered???? That was right before McCarten jumped in with her totally insensitive remarks.
I, for one, was totally surprised that Brad didn't give Michele a pity rose and keep her around one more week.
Your recap had me rolling! I think I like Katie Couric.... the whole Will Ferrell analogy is right on - I laughed so hard when it happened...great TV. Seriously.
Surprised you didn't mention Brad's one-on-one time with Michelle..."I am old...but, you knew that...and I want to get married and have kids. But not right away. I mean someday, but I have a lot to do for ME right now. School loans. But, I am open." I just wanted her to stop it was so awkward!
I loved that he mentions going into the hot tub (mid-day)--and then cut to a nighttime hot tub scene. I wish, just once, we could see the uncut version of all of this nonsense.
I hope this season picks up...kind of boring last night...really.
Lincee,
First off love the recaps, very funny. I ran into the Bachelor this weekend in Austin. He was being harrassed by many women and was handling it like a true gentleman. He let everyone take pictures even though he was in a hurry. I think he might be as sweet as the drunk girl said he was. : )
Ok ANON 1:45 PM.....If Jade is such a good person why is she looking through other peoples things and acting so judgmental and self righteous? Whatever. It is a special person who works to help others and they are some of the nicest people I have ever met. Most would never turn their noses up at anyone.
Has anyone heard of any spoilers??? Or if this ends in a proposal?
I agree! Michele was totally trying to pull a Bevin! No one actually saw her fall down, or heard a noise... except for her screaming. Last night was kind of boring, I wish I could watch it with Lincee and hear her comments at the same time!
when you walked into the kitchen you missed the BEST part! He wiped off the kiss and she called him out on it!
A few things:
1) When Solisa was talking about her "morals" and "values," Brad was so trying to fish out of her if that meant she was saving herself for marriage. Did she ever actually say?
2)The twin thing would piss me off if I was one of those girls. It's deceitful! But my god will it make for fabulous television.
3)I honestly don't mind Jenni/katie Couric or whatever her name is. Usually when the girls in the house gang up on one particular girl, I usually agree. But Jade ended up looking like the nasty bitch last night.
Thanks Lincee!
So fun reading this after watching the show. After seeing Solisa took her top off I had to rewind to verify that it was her saying that she is a christian with morals and stuff. And the body shot??? What is she thinking? Shock and awe all over the place
Ha! 2:07pm, I too thought such a defensive comment surely came from Jade! Hey Jade 1:45pm - doesn't ABC make y'all sign non-disclosure contracts stating that you won't get involved in anything show related?? Just curious
Great recap, Lincee!
Did anyone else notice Stephy's lisp??? I was so caught off-guard I had to rewind twice. She was talking about how she can't figure out if Brad likes outgoing girls or quiet girls. Her pronunciations of "girls" sounds a bit off and then she adds that she's been "weally aggwessive" today!!!!!!
Seriously??? Did the body shots give her a speech inpediment??? What was up with that?
Wow- last night was just shocking. I am surprised that he kept some of the girls he did and some that he booted.
one thing that I didn't see you point out- but I think it was Jade that said she was complabable? It was like a cross between compatible and competitive? Anyone else catch that.
Shout out to Anon at 2:07- Michelle was a butterface. Bless her heart. I think it was all staged. She WAS conscious- remember she was faking all the moans and crying!
Lincee- you continue to amaze me. Can we all come watch the show with you?
I can't believe no one has mentioned that Solisa looks like Angelina Jolie!
It's the celeb look alike Bachelor...
Michelle totally looks like Barbaro.
WHY am I having such a hard time getting into this WOmack season???? Anybody else feel like that???
NOTE TO SELF: Do not read Lincee's recap when boss is in the office or he'll yell & ask why you're laughing so loud. :)
I would just like to add to the look alikes on the show- there is that one girl (don't know her real name) who looks like a less attractive version of scarlet johansen with dark hair! that's all I think everytime i see her!
Andrea 5:05 i could not agree with you more there is a brunette scarlet johansen on the show!
thanks Lincee for all the insights...i still can't believe i watch the show! my boss is the one that gave me your blog address and i have generously shared with others. keep up the great work!
This is the BEST Bachelor season EVER!! as it always is....How about after she fell down the stairs- the girls that were pointing out that now Brad might only have "14" girls to chose from...You could see her practically smiling - like she had wished that something like that would happen so she could just...get... closer to him.....Wow. This season's girls are priceless.
How out of place was it when after Michelle called Brad to tell him about her fall, one of the girls said "She called you from the hospital?" and another said... "how would she get his number?" DUH. ABC intern, as Lincee's always refers too. How ELSE would be get his number- Of course they wanted her to call him for the drama effect.
Okay, so who saw the bit at the racetrack when Brad was telling all the other girls about Michelle and they were staring with their fake "Oh, No" faces, that the bikini girl from the first night (Mallory??) didn't even look up from flipping through her magazine! At least she wasn't pretending to give a crap!
Everyone has already mentioned these things, but I'm going to mention them again...
1. Solisa...I don't mean to judge or anything, but body shots with a guy you've known for what, 48 hours? and taking your top off don't exactly bring to mind 'Christian morals and values'...maybe I'm just prude
2. I agree with everyone who has said this season is a little boring and/or hard to get into. I feel the same way. To be honest, the only thing that keeps me watching is our dear Lincee and her blogs! :) Someone last blog said they should be paying you a finder's fee, I completely agree.
And UT Jenn, we both had a bad weekend this past weekend :( Here's hoping both our teams play better at the Red River Shootout. BOOMER SOONER! :)
Lincee, great recap!
Host Chris sure was looking hot in his button-down and jeans.
Speaking of celeb look-alikes...I'm probably dating myself, but does anyone else remember a tv show from the 80s called Matt Houston? I think Brad looks an awful lot like Lee Horsley, the guy that starred in that show (he also played Archie to William Cannon's Nero Wolfe). And yes, I had a crush on him.
Hello to All!
This is for anyone in the Austin area! The Thirsty Nickel, one of Brad's bars, is throwing "The Bachelor Viewing Party" every Monday at 8:30!!! They're having "Guess who doesn't get a Rose" contests and drinking games, such as taking a shot everytime Brad says "Wow, Amazing, and Let's have some fun" Haha Just thought I should get the word out if you happened to live in Austin like we do! ~Margot
P.S. AWESOME Recap Lincee! I really wish you could have seen Brad wipe McCracken's kiss from his lips! PRICELESS!!
Lincee,
I love your commentary and agree with all of it! Can't wait for next week!
Just FYI - Brad does a telephone interview with the local radio station (96.7 - Kiss FM) every Tuesday morning. He's pretty funny. You can listen online.
I have to say my favorite part of the show was when Solisa said... I am just the way GOD made me... yeah... except for the boobs, and lips, and the fake tan!!
This is totally off the subject but may be of some interest to those of you who hung around this summer and blogged about books: they're making Time Traveler's Wife into a movie - its shooting in Canada right now. Rachel McAdams is the heroine. Fantastic book - I can't wait for the movie.
Great recap Lincee!
Did anyone else see Chris Harrison on Chelsea Lately last night? It was seriously the funniest thing ever with Chelsea using clips from the bachelor to show how Chris was in love with Brad.
To me the funniest moment was where he wiped the kiss away. She even commented on him doing it out loud.
I think that Jenny looks like Erin Gray from Silver Spoons. (Some of you may be too young to remember).
http://www.imdb.com/gallery/hh/0001292/HH/0001292/gray.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Gray,%20Erin%20(I)
Who knew that medical emergencies would happen so quickly! YES! And the twin! NEXT WEEK! YES!
Michelle should've saved the Bevin move until she'd had some more quality time with the Bach! Poor girl!
I love Tuesdays again, thanks for the laughs.
Since Lincee mentioned breast cancer... I am walking in a 3 day 60 mile walk. See how you can help!
http://www.the3day.org/dallas07/catherineberry
This is the first time that I have read your blog...I love it! A friend referred me and I'm so glad that she did. I was dying to hear what you said about Solisa. You weren't as harsh as I thought. I went to high school with her and was absolutely shocked at how she flaunted EVERYTHING on TV. I was also shocked that Brad picked her! One with great morals and values shouldn't have to voice it...it should be seen through their actions. Obviously Solisa's are different than everyone else's. Thanks for a great laugh!
Love it Lincee! We discuss your blog more than the actual show in the office. :) Here's to the North!
I don't usually comment on this blog (I just laugh hysterically), but I feel the need, especially regarding The Virgin Solisa:
1) I agree that Solisa has an Angelina Jolie quality (must be the ginormous lips and heaving breasts). If Brad Pitt likes Angelina, our Brad might like this look-a-like, too
2) I went to college in Georgetown, TX (Southwestern) and Williamson County is dry. I don't remember a lot of girls getting body shots down at the local Dairy Queen. But maybe I went on the wrong night.
3) Solisa reminds me Slutanie (aka Stephanie from Dr. Andy's days). Again, must be the heaving breasts. Let's rename her So-loosa. I think that is more appropriate.
4) Bless your heart, Soloosa!Didn't your Christian family ever tell you that Brad aint gonna marry the cow when he can view those udders for free? Cover those puppies up, darlin'
Keep up the good work, Lincee! Love your blog :)
I vowed I wouldn't watch again this season... but then I read your first blog and I had to set the Tivo again.
I agree that I'm not hooked yet, but your blog is keeping me watching. That said... the only ones I could stomach were DD and Jenni. I see them going far. But they haven't teased a proposal or anything... so could this season just end with one big BLAH? I kind of feel like he's totally unimpressed with all the women. I know I am.
OH... and I think there are more boobs hanging out this season than any other. Some of those should be kept under wraps. Thank you for helping me relive the horrible, strange kissing moment at the track. I laughed out loud at your description because I was right there with you!!
I totlly agre with Solisa being the poor man's Angelina....although she also reminded me of that female wrestler, Chyna who was on the Surreal Life or one of those lame celebreality shows...
is that mean?
oh, i love it! two thoughts...
did anyone else notice mallory's extreme thoughtfulness when brad was telling of the stairs incident. she just casually kept reading her magazine while the other girls faked concern. so funny!
also, am i the only one that thinks of michael jackson when i see lindsey's nose?
nashville: i like dd's voice too! funny that someone else noticed it. thanks lincee for the recap... and the editing this season is fabulous. especially solisa doing body shots - cut to solisa talking about her faith - cut to solisa skinny-dipping.
Great recap - LOL!
Why the love for Chris Harrison though?!?! He's such a dud / master of the obvious. He has the easiest job in showbiz esp compared to the ABC intern. "Ladies, Brad, you have one final rose this evening." Thanks, Chris, I can count!
I've been waiting for a season like this since drunk amber rambling about Olive Garden...well done ABC!
i'm very disappointed that in last weeks previews, ABC set us up to believe that a fellow bachelorette pushed her down the stairs...i was looking forward to one of the girls being disqualified, arrested, Chris H interviewing her behind bars. I think the ABC intern needs to call me for some ideas. (i don't want anyone to get hurt though..i'm not a crazy!)
looking forward to next week
Personally my favorite part was when they were at the race track, Brad walked into the room and all the girls were all smiling and then he picked up the rose to give to DeAnna, Jade's face was PRICELESS!
To Anon 8:54 - don't be hatin on our host Chris!! All the love is because he is such a doll. And he can be very funny. Granted he may have a boring job once the show gets rolling but he's still a cutie!!
I still can't get over the show this week. I watched it twice to make sure I didn't miss anything. I know..I'm a dork. But there was just so much to see! I think my favorite part was when he wiped the kiss off from McKisser and then laughed about how horrible it was. He is too cute. I too think Jenni and DeHAnna will go far. And Soloosa as somone named her - perfect by the way - was way over the top! I had to rewind to make sure it was her talking about her Christian morals and values. Um..yeah...I am sure Mom and Dad are very proud of just how tight she is hanging on to those about now. And Jade...I guess she is going to be the resident biotch. The way she cuts those eyes...pure evil.
I can't wait for next week to see Silly Hillary have her meltdown and to see the twin try to fool the girls. This should be good!
Lincee - great job as usual. You had me on the floor laughing. I wait anxiously every Tuesday for your update and you never disappoint. Wish we could have a viewing party with you!
anonymous 1:25 - thanks for the link. that is so interesting how jade is not there to further her career... but her former coworkers say all she talked about is going to LA and modeling because people tell her she's so pretty. oh barf. girls are on that show for one of two reasons: 1. to get married ASAP because their eggs are rotting... or 2. to be "discovered." lame-o!
i am secretly in love with lincee. okay, not so secretly.
mel
xoxo
I just had a thought..maybe our virgin Christian "Soloosa" thinks she is on "Rock of Love" instead of the Bachelor!
As another member of the Womack clan, I often find myself spelling it WOmack or WHOAmack just so people pronounce it right. Cheers, ABC.
Soloosa. How fitting!! That's awesome!!!
Lincee, sister, I'm so glad to be reading your insight and having you back at it!
Ladies of the blog - maybe you can answer something for me. Why is it when girls get together in groups of 4 or more and when they get excited, they break out into ear drum-piercing screams together? I have never understood this ritual.
All I know is, Solisa is giving both Texas & Christians a bad name, I'm not sure why Brad is keeping her around?!
Does anyone else think DeAHnna was giving WOmack "the eyes"? I might be crazy, but I think I saw them. Watch for it, next time.
I'm excited about WOmack - seems like a decent guy that will call out the ridiculousness of what these girls might do. Looks like it's going to be a good season!
(I'm just now playing catch up because I had to move last week and haven't gotten cable! Also, shout out to the ladies of the delicious bass!)
That dingbat from Texas on the Pizza Prince edition would have been perfect this go-round! And I gotta say, Brad's uncontrolled laughter (and unscripted) is one of the best parts of this series thus far!
Maybe the gals should read this article....
http://msn.chemistry.com/msnarticles/ChemistryofKissing?trackingid=508259&bannerid=2002322>1=10519
To the person who nailed down Jenni to the Silver Spoons chick....oh my gosh, THANK YOU! Everyone was saying Katie Couric or Jennifer Love...but I just knew there was some familiarity there that I could not put my finger on. You got it!! But I still see Katie mixed in there too...
Since everyone is being compared to a celebrity, I have a new observation. Bettina (with the oh so shocking secret of being divorced) is a little Charleze Theron...however, she inherited Charleze's nappy thin blonde hair from the movie Monster. Little obscure, but is anyone nodding along with me?? This will be my only mean post. Sorry Bett...but if you stop running your fingers through it when you're nervous, it may last a bit longer!!!
Michele reminded me so much of Drea de Matteo (Sopranos's Aidreana, the sister on "Joey")....right down to the Jersey accent. She seems pretty sweet and I didn't think butterface at all...have a heart people!!!
wow, I know I'm old, but what's a "butterface" ?
Lovin the recaps Lincee! You are sooo much fun
Whoever noticed the silver spoons/Jenni look a like is right on! Still see some Katie resemblance too.
Two Things Lincee Readers....
1. We do not ever bash our precious "Host Chris."
2. Welcome back Straight Guy #1...where are all the rest of the gang?
Jenni totally looks like Erin Gray. Bettina looks like Charlize? Don't think so...that girl needs a comb though.
Response to 8:28pm:
"Butterface" is a not-very-nice way of saying everything is good lookin' about a lady, but her face. AKA a nice bod.
Hope that explains that. And don't worry, it's not that you are old since you didn't know the expression, you're just a nice person who doesn't say stuff like that about people :)
seriously. a book...write one.
To me, Bettina looks JUST like Olivia Newton John-- circa the "Let's Get Physical" video era-- the limp fine blonde hair is a DEAD ringer for ONJ!
Maybe they should rename this show "Bachelor Party". Drunk girls, topless girls, hot tubs,gambling, bikini beach...
Great recap Lincee!
Could it be ABC editing, or are these girls truly as non-intelligent as they seem????
There was lots to laugh about (roll my eyes at) but for some reason it was also just ho-hum. Couldn't put my finger on what, but it just wasn't that exciting. Maybe next week...however I wish his twin actually looked like him. Guess the smart girls will have an opportunity to stand out!
Host Chris please tell us there will be a WTA this season! I'd love to hear Solisa's explanation of her crazy self.
So, I'll take a leap and say he picks Jenni; however, I'm sure the dark horse will appear soon too. And, I'll make the big prediction that they are no longer together!! HA!
I love this show! And, yes we don't knock Host Chris around here. We love him for his obviousness. SG#1-your insight is always priceless.
Thanks Lincee!!
BFF Jenn
PS Angela-Yes, last week was awful. At least one of us will win this weekend!
HOOK 'EM!!!!!!!!!
I agree that with anon 12:59 - Bettina reminds me of OLJ!!
Sorry, too much coffee! I meant ONJ!!!
BFF Jenn & Angela
Had to speak up --- Boomer Sooner!
Another one bites the dust.......looks like Charlie & Sarah are over.
http://www.hollywood.com/news/OConnell_Splits_from_Girlfriend/4915939
Yes, another couple bites the dust, but hey - they were together for several years... that's not bad for meeting on a reality tv show. And what's the latest on our Navy doctor cavorting with Miss Iran???? I hear they are shipping him overseas....
I don't even watch the show but I really like your recaps :) I wish you had more pictures though--I don't know what any of these girls look like and don't want to cross-referance!
Love the recaps. Do you guys think the Chargers football player would be the next bachelor? (no idea if he is married or has a girlfriend, just a thought).
I don't think anyone on that show has the right to accuse anyone else of being fame whores. Not one of them -- and this includes the bachelor -- would agree to go on that show without liking the thought of being on a major network tv show. They're all thinking about the possibility of fame and being discovered or what this can do for their businessses, whether they also really hope to find love or not.
I have to be honest and let you know that without these recap I might not even watch this show. As entertaining as the show is (I haven't missed a season yet!) your recap makes it 100 times better! Thanks for the laughs!
Oh, this was so fun. I missed last week. Found you from the Starshine Report.
Will be back.....
Hilarious!!!
I'm voting for Katie Couric!
Thanks Lincee!
okay so maybe this is yesterdays news but did you guys know that Lorenzo started dating Sadie after he dumped Jen?? He and Sadie dated for 7 months and she moved to NY for him. They've since broken up and he says she partied too much. Just thought that was interesting....I loved Sadie!
great job! thanks for mqaking me laugh
really? i thought they weren't allowed to contact the other person after the show was over if they weren't picked? weird!
I'm watching this week's episode right now and all I can say is JADE IS EVIL!!!
the comments from the booted women last night was HILARIOUS!!
Do you wear *your* special parts on the outside too?
ROTFLMBO!!!
Last night was brilliant. Did anyone else notice that they yelled "fire in the hole!" immediately after Soloosa did her lap dance? Crazy amounts of appropriate! Can't wait for Lincee's take!
I'm going through withdrawls...must...get...Lincee-fix...soon...
Oh to hear what she has to say about our resident Christian Morals herself - Solisa. So good at the "Christian" lap dances, and "Christian" booty shakes. Must make the Lord prouder than proud. Why oh why does she have to be from TX??
Side note - I'm an Aggie, but BOOMER SOONER! What a good game last weekend!
Arrrrgh! I'm in recap withdrawl!!
Speak to us, Lincee! Your loyal subjects await...
:)
Lincee,
Hey have you seen fafarazzi.com/bachelor yet? it's a bachelor fantasy game.
We've got a spot to post episode recaps, too, we'd love to have yours on there. I'm already anxious to read about last nights epi!
My fav line... "My special parts are on the outside..."
wow.
Is it just me or does DeAnna remind anyone else of Amber (I think that was her name from last season - she was the one always talking about how mature she is)? They gotta be related right...or did she get some work done and change her name to come back on the show and try again?!?! hmmmm
Oh the Special parts convo was hilarous! And I'm sorry but you can sooooooo tell the difference between the brothers. And good bye Solisa! hahahah yeah a lot in common as you do a lap dance...maybe its he's seen your kind before and that's all you got in common.
I'm sure Lincee will give us great recap fun!
Special parts? On the outside? Priceless!
"Special parts" is code, right?
Lincee, Where are you????????????
i could not believe solisa uttered those words...seriously it was the funniest thing i've ever heard on the bachelor hands down.
Ambigbee- totally noticed the cannon! Laughed out loud!!! I, too am going through recap withdrawal! I wonder how many of us have checked Lincee's site today! It's the only reason I"m watching this season! your faithful bloggers await....
McCracken looks like Sheri Appleby - the girl from Roswell.
I don't know why Jade is still on the show. Why does he like her? Anyone?!
I like the Sheena girl. She is real! Her face was classic! and the patch of blond hair over the ear was so random!
Does anyone think Bettina looks like Heather Locklear from the Melrose Place days?
I'm dying over here...where's Lincee??????
Anyone else think Sheena looked like Elizabeth Shue in Cocktail with her hair curled on the date night?
where is lincee? BTW: thanks "Aggie" for the Boomer Sooner!! Did anyone watch the Cowboys vs. the BIlls last night? Great game!!
where oh where has our lovely Lincee gone...
Oh where oh where can she beeeeee?
it's 4:06, do you know where our recap is? I'm anxiously waiting for Lincee's hilarious recap. What does she have to say about Solisa's...er...special parts? How does she feel about Sheena finally making a name for herself? What is her spin on the ole twin switcheraroo?
OMG! The Cowboys! How did they pull that off!! :) Can't wait to go home and watch the Bach... my boyfriend made me watch football... glad the recap didn't spoil it for me, I can never resist reading Lincee's take first!
PLease climb off the rig and get us our post!!! I'm having withdrawls!
Your job can wait- this is your real job anyway!!
Cowboys game was great, too bad they'll go down on Sunday...
This is so sad. I've checked your blog 20 times today waiting to see what you will say about "I have my special parts on the outside."
I am pathetic. Very very pathetic.
I know, I'm equally as pathetic.
Lincee...shine a little light on all our boring/pathetic Bachelor obsessed lives....
Anon 4:55....you are not alone. I'm just as pathetic as you. I keep leaving the page up and refreshing over and over and over and over. I can't wait to see what she says about Solisa and her special parts.
Okay, seriously? Chad had NO idea that Brad was going to ask him to pose as him? yeah right!
I think Stephy might have gotten a rose for tightrope walking.
OH my, how is it 7:15 pm? You must be overseas?
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