A LITTLE HOUSEKEEPING ON MESSAGE BOARD POSTS
1. My tooth is great. The pus pocket above the nerve is not. But thanks to everyone for your concern. I will survive.
2. Loving my Straight Guys #1, #2 and #3, Lawyer John and Scott. You guys bring a certain perspective to the message board that is beautiful to read. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
3. Will not recap any other shows. Thanks…but one is more than enough.
4. According to the message boards, I am “priceless, wicked genius, brilliant, funnier than hysterical, hilarious and someone’s hero.” I’ve made people cry, laugh and pee their pants. It’s a gift.
5. Note to self: Paris has Pringles.
6. Who wants to know if I work for W3?
7. Long live stroller pushing soccer Moms!
8. How to pronounce my name: Lynn-see. Variation of Lindsay or Lindsey. Was once called Lean-key at my 4th grade citizen bee award ceremony. Traumatized forever. That quickly turned into Slinky. Shortened to Slink. To this day dear friend Julie still calls me that.
9. I already have an agent, publicist, manager and errand boy (get me a DP BFF Paul…)
10. Not going to be wearing a pink hard hat on national TV.
11. Who graduated with Chris Harrison?
12. KP from OKC keeping it real on the SOUTH SIDE!
ON WITH THE RECAP!
So I was talking to Chris Harrison the other day and I said, “Chris Harrison. The world wants to know. Why does ABC cut out all your funny lines? We know you are witty…charming…full of laughs. Why would ABC do this to America’s favorite host?” Chris Harrison responds, “It’s the name of the game Slink. It’s the biz. Stick with me kid…and you’ll go far.”
Paul. You’ve been bumped. My new #1 BFF is Chris Harrison. You can be my #2 BFF. Peace homey.
Anyway, Chris Harrison and I were talking about the Women Tell All reunion show taping in February. “Chris Harrison,” I said. “Would it be too much for national TV to wear my pink hart hat on the show while I’m in the audience because you invited me to come watch the uncomfortable moments in person?” Chris Harrison replies, “I think the pink my clash with Red’s hair. Better stick to something less obvious.”
Chris Harrison. Looking out for his BFF. What a classy guy. YOU’RE MY BOY!
There you have it! I’m going to LA.
More about that when I know more about that.
SIMPLE DISCLAIMER
The following information you are about to read is of personal opinion. If this e-mail circulates to friends, family, enemies...that is your business. However, if you or someone in your address book happens to personally know, sort of know, know the brother/cousin of, thought you saw in the grocery store buying tofu or have a nail technician that looks exactly like one of the Bachelorettes on the
show...none of this is personal and I'm sure they are all lovely people.
Website count: 42,388
As I sat on my couch last night with my green marker and printer paper in hand, ready to take notes, one question kept running through my mind.
Why on Earth is the Bachelor coming on an hour later than normal this season? Geez! I’m fighting to just stay awake at the 9:00 hour. How am I supposed to be alert?
But ABC helped me out last night. Within the first six minutes, we had ACTION, DRAMA, TEARS, FAKE SMILES, GASPS and a breakdown from Mowana. That’s what I’m talking about!
Chris Harrison (did I tell you we spoke?) welcomes the girls into the living room. Already, I have something to say. Props to Susan for the Belize t-shirt “shout-out” to Bachelor Bob’s fiancé. Can’t remember her name right now. You better Belize that I don’t care.
Chris Harrison tells the girls that two special guests will be choosing who goes on the two one-on-one dates with McHottie. Who will it be? Susan is nervous. Gee-hand smiles. Nashville smoothes her hair. Student/Stoner Sarah hides her stash. Mowana yawns and the ABC intern punches Red to wake up and pops a Listerine strip in her mouth.
Drum roll please. . .
In walks Bikini Model Jenn and Shiloh (who?).
Cut to McHottie. He is so happy that Jenn and Who? have come back to help him pick the one-on-one dates. He trusts their judgment SO MUCH that he kicks them off and then asks them to help narrow down the possibilities for his future wife. How awesome! How amazing! I totally feel the connection.
Within minutes, claws are out. Jenn is in charge. She is happy to take on the task and puts all bitter feelings aside. There is no way she would ask uncomfortable questions. It’s going to be completely fair and just.
First up…Nashville
Jenn: “Do you see yourself with McHottie?”
Who?: “Yeah…”
Nashville: “Yes I do. I think we are the same.”
We get it Nashville. You are both from Nashville. Newsflash…there is more to a good relationship that geography.
Next…Gee-hand
Jenn: “You seem to play it safe. When are you going to open up and let us see who the real Gee-hand is? Are you hiding something? Do you have a big dark secret? Is there something you aren’t telling the fellow girls since you’ve been living with them for six days?”
Who?” “Yeah…”
G: “I like grapes.”
Bless Gee-hand’s heart.
Then…Student/Stoner Sarah
Jenn: “We are concerned about your age. My birthday is four months before yours, so as an older person, can I please give you some advice? Stop rolling that joint and answer me!”
Who?: “What she said…”
Student/Stoner Sarah: “Anyone have a lighter? Match maybe?”
Also…Red
Jenn: “Can you please explain why you are always drunk?”
Who?: “Can you?”
Red: “Hey…I’m young. What else do you expect me to do? (hiccups) Our boyfriend likes to drink…(hiccups) so I’m going to drink. Our boyfriend likes to party. So I’m going to party. (hiccups) Hey…I’m young.”
Who could forget…Susan
Jenn: “So you are an aspiring actress. Actresses just can’t go off and marry doctors. I mean really Susan.”
Who?: “Seriously.”
Susan: “As candidate for this position of the possible fiancé of Dr. McHottie, I would just like to say that I would be the perfect Mrs. Stork. I can cook, clean, recite Shakespeare and make almost all of my marks. I love Young & the Restless and could easily see myself replacing Sharon in upcoming episodes. I have a degree in Drama from the Overland Park Community College and was in two commercials before the age of four. We are perfect for each other. I’d also like to thank ABC for giving me this opportunity to be a part of such a wonderful cast. Thank you. THANK YOU!
And finally…Mowana
Jenn: “I’ve been kicked off. I’m going to go ahead and say it. YOU DON’T BELONG HERE. YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO GET A ROSE. I’M AMAZED YOU’VE MADE IT THIS FAR. TELL ME YOUR SECRET. I’M GOING ON THE AMAZING RACE NEXT WEEK AND NEED SOME TRICKS UP MY SLEEVE. C’MON MO…WHAT ARE YOU REALLY FEELING?”
Who?: (too scared to talk)
Mowana: “Are you trying to intimidate me? Did you rub my lamp? I’ll have you sleeping with the fishes if you don’t BACK OFF Bikini. Listen here, I have intense feelings going on (sniffs) and I’m not sure (rubs eyes) what is going on in my heart (slow tear falls down left cheek) and what is going on in my head.
And then an official melt down. Right here ladies and gentleman. Mowana is crying. Could it be that she does have feelings? Or is this a part of her plot to get the man and claim the trophy? Stay tuned…
One-on-One
Gee-hand
Dr. McHottie decides to take Gee-hand to the Eiffel Tower. Great. We haven’t seen THAT at least two times per episode. Did ABC rent the thing out for a few weeks or something? They are shopping. Bread, wine, cheese. Notice the random baguette guy walking the streets. Oh…there’s another one. Oh…and another. Yes. Holding a baguette makes you officially in the city of Paris. It’s probably some sound stage in Burbank. Poor intern having to run to Central Market or Whole Foods every nine seconds to replace the baguette basket. YOU GO INTERN!
Then McHottie searches for the PERFECT gift to give Gee-hand. What would every woman want to remember their time in Paris? (Yo Stork…how about a rose at the end of this thing?) Nope. McHottie picks an Eiffel Tower necklace and proudly presents it to G at the foot of the Tower. Her reaction? “This is so cute.” (Ouch) “Cool!” (Doh!) “Awesome!” (That’s gotta hurt.)
Unofficial count of how many times the word amazing was used on this date: 27
It is at this point the Gee-hand decides to share with him a big secret that she’s been keeping. She wanted him to know before the girls. It’s really bad so we have to drag it out. Seriously. This is big news. I mean big. So huge that ABC had to tease it 12 times in order for us to finally know that it’s probably not a big deal. But we then questions ourselves thinking, “It can’t be that bad.” Then we play games asking ourselves, “What could it be?” and laugh at what comes to mind.
1. She’s gay.
2. She has an evil twin.
3. She used to be a man.
4. She wants to be a man.
5. She used to weight 800 pounds and was in the Guinness Book of World Records
6. Her stomach is boiling and she needs to find the toilettes
The moment finally comes when G admits that she’s been married before. Guy tricked her into getting a green card.
That’s it? That’s the big surprise? Surely not.
But yes. McHottie has issues with this and admits he never saw himself marrying a divorced woman. But he decides that he can bend all the ABC rules of The Bachelor and NOT give her a rose, but send her back to the house anyway. That way, he can LOOK like he’s a nice guy to give her more time, but really knows that she is on the next flight to USA. What a man!
Group Date
Red, Mowana, Susan, Student/Stoner Sarah
McHottie decides to recreate his own little version of the Tour Day France. Yes, yes. You are reading that correctly. Tour DAY France. Insert joke here.
The girls are in head to toe spandex in array of colors from the upcoming Spring line. They also were forced to wear dork helmets. They bike along, Dr. McHottie screaming, “LOOK! NO HANDS!”
McHottie says that there is NO ROSE on this date. Sighs of relief from the girls. But then he announces a competition. The girl who crosses the finish line first will get alone time with him.
Mowana announces that the game is ON! She is competitive and will win. Which she does. She and Red cross the finish line with high fives from Stork. He is impressed. Ten minutes go by and they’ve had a baguette, wine and some cheese. Susan and Student/Stoner are nowhere to be found. They take a dip in the pool. Still no Susan or Stoner. About 30 minutes later, the girls arrive huffing and puffing. Literally. That was the funniest part of the show.
Since Mo wins the race, they go off to an intimate massage together. McHottie feels they have a connection as he eyes half of her squished boob and her stripper tat the size of Wyoming on her lower back. She playfully asks, “Why did you give me a rose?” He answers, “How could I not give you a rose. I’d be crazy. Are you serious?”
Bow-chica-bow-wow.
Bow-chica-bow-wow
“I need to know who you are,” Dr. McHottie pleads. “But only when you are ready.”
“Oh, I’m ready,” declares Mowana. “You give me the freedom to just be me. And I thank you.”
I had to seriously check to see A.) if I had accidentally switched the channel to Cinemax or B.) wonder if I’m watching a KY Warming Massage Oil Gel commercial. We border-lined soft porn. If you listen closely, you can vaguely here Dave Matthews “Crash” or “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye. I’m not sure.
Meanwhile, our other friends are hanging out in the pool, when they realize, if they hold their breath REALLY LONG they can spy on Mo and Stork by looking through a super secret window at the bottom of the pool. Student/Stoner Sarah is determined to look 18 times. We see her butt bob in and out of the water several times. Red is too busy filling up at the bar and Susan is in the corner trying to memorize her lines for her next date with McHottie.
Second one-on-one date
Nashville
After removing the ginormous Velcro rollers from her hair, McHottie takes Nashville to have their portrait done by some weird Parisian who Nashville claims looks like a mad scientist. The portrait resembles something I did in Mrs. Davis’ 8th grade art class when she taught us how to draw eye balls and noses. Go back to Six Flags dude.
We interrupt this date to take you back to the house. Something is going down. Red, Stoner, Susan and G are all talking smack about Mowana. Luckily, the ABC intern was able to track her down and coax her to put her water bottle on the stairs and listen through the open door at the horrendous accusations be made.
Hi. Dumb girls? It’s me. Lincee. Did none of you learn at a young age…say four or five…when your sister told you to sneak down to the kitchen to get some cookies or Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pies that there should always be a look out? ROOKIE MISTAKE! GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!
The girls talk about how unstable, unhappy, strange, weird, odd, unsocial Mowana is. Red declares that she would vomit if Mo was picked before her.
Hi. Red? It’s me. Lincee. Should you vomit at the rose ceremony, it would be due to the large intake of alcohol. Not your insane jealousy of Mo. Walk it off Red. Walk it off. Can I get some coffee over here?
Mowana enters the room and dares any of the girls to take a walk in her shoes and fur-hooded parka. “PARDEN ME FOR HAVING A HEART” she cries. “YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MY CHARACTER!”
Back to Nashville and Dr. McHottie.
Stork says that he does not have any concerns when it comes to Nashville. He feels good that she is a Kindergarten teacher and she has surpassed all his expectations.
Nice editing ABC. We can all tell that they, according to McHottie, have a “connection.” Sure. Could we see some of that connection one of these days? You can’t trick us. We are way smarter than you think.
In true adolescent fashion, Dr. McHottie says to Nashville, “You have to go home. But take me with you! GOT YOU! HA HA HA.”
It’s a big day for McHottie. He has to send two girls home. He decides to hop on his bike…luckily, he brought a whole duffle bag full of bandanas and he does not have to duplicate the same one he wore on the Tour Day France. He rides over to the girls’ house and knocks on the door.
Everyone, except Mowana, gathers around the table and drink large bottles of water. McHottie takes each girl for some one-on-one time, beginning with Student/Stoner Sarah.
I don’t know what they said because I muted the TV. But I did notice she grabbed his butt as they were going back inside the house.
He takes G aside and tells her he “appreciates” her being honest with him.
Hi. American Airlines? It’s Lincee. We need one ticket back to Chicago.” Thanks for playing. It’s been real.
McHottie soon finds Mowana on the floor in the den writing in her diary. She confides that she had a rough night in the house and that she is the black sheep of the group. The girls were mean to her. Then she pours her psycho heart out to our Bachelor.
“I am forever changed and grateful for you McHottie. I didn’t feel scared the other day (read in a whisper) to just…let…go.”
Choose your favorite Celine Dion hit to play in the background during this pathetic emotional “connection” with Mo and McIdiot-If-He-Picks-Her:
“Near. Far. Wherever you are. I believe that the heart will go on. Once more. You open the door. You are safe in my heart and my heart will go on and on.”
“Cuz I’m your lady. And you are my man. Whenever you reach for me. I’ll do all that I can. We’re headed for something. Somewhere I’ve never been. Sometimes I am frightened but I’m ready to learn. For the power of love.”
“Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Beautiful boy.”
Rose Ceremony
Chris Harrison (great tie dude) comes in and tells the ladies that there will be no pre-party. It is at THIS point that Red’s mouth flies open in shock. Unfortunately, ABC edited the tape to look like she was in shock when Mowana’s name was called for a rose instead of hers.
Dr. McHottie tells each Bachelorette that she is unique and beautiful in her own way. But he is going with his feelings tonight. (Way to go man!) Each has left an impression on his life and he thanks them.
Student/Stoner Sarah
Susan
Mowana
Red goes up to McHottie and says that “someone is fooling you” and to watch out. Funny that the exact same audio was played over a previous rose ceremony to tease us the commercial before. You are not fooling anyone ABC. We are ON to you and your tricks.
The show ends with an outtake of McHottie asking the women from the Tour Day France if they like French food. Deer in the headlights. What do we say? Do we answer honestly? Is this a trick question?
Stoner replies, “I hate it.”
Susan looks for her mark, smiles at the camera and says she loves French food and is broken-hearted when Stork agrees with Stoner.
As a special treat, he unveils McDonald hamburgers for EVERYONE!
Stoner mews out a, ‘Swwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeetttttt dude.”
Susan refuses because she is watching her figure.
Red doesn’t want to kill her buzz with food and Mo is off in a corner sulking about something irrelevant.
Classic television ladies and gentlemen (all four of you.) Classic.
Count up to 44,931. Simply stunning. You guys rock!
All about the shame, not the fame,
Lincee
About Me
- Lincee
- My older sister taught me at a young age to say the ABCs, so when it was time to learn them in school, I memorized them backwards, and it has been my "stupid human trick" since I was five years old. I can also talk like I’m stuck in a closet.
295 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 295 of 295TYRING TO SET UP A BLOGGER NAME AND IT KEEPS DENYING ALL THAT I GIVE IT. HELP PAUL!!
Anonymous 12:52
As a former kindergarten teacher, I was VERY suspicious when I saw Sarah with her "students". I don't know many schools that would allow that kind of access or "publicity" when minors are involved. The giveaway? They weren't even in a classroom.
I told my husband that I bet those kids are 1) children/nieces/nephews of Sarah's family or friends, or 2) former students whose parents volunteered and signed waivers.
I read somewhere (yes I am now obsessed with the gossip) that the footage of Dr. McHottie wasn't even filmed at Vandy, but was shot at a friend/collegues practice in Colorado---where Dr. McHottie was interviewing. Who knows for sure???
Lincee I am so excited you are going to be on the tell-all show! Hoping this leads to a bright future for you! You deserve it with your talent.
:)
PS
I hope Sarah Nashville wins! How can I not root for a Kindergarten teacher!
How could anyone doubt Lincee? - why would she declare to thousands that she was going to be on National TV and then not be!?!? I have no doubt that we will get a glimpse of Lincee on the ‘Girls Tell All’- I bet this is going to be a record setter for ABC! And as for her being the next Bachelorette…. It is surprising that people out there can even make that suggestion to her since it is their existence that Lincee makes fun of on a weekly basis! My vote is for her to be a host for ET, or maybe we will see her on the Red Carpet one day interviewing people!! (and then making funny comments when they walk off) Go Lincee- U R the Best-est!!! Here is my shout out to Chris H.- Ladies, Travis, this is the final rose tonight. Priceless!
I'm straight, married, 50+ Dad whose daughters put me onto your recaps several seasons back. You are the GREAT ONE, oh, L. I'll admit that I probably don't get ALL your humor, but I do get enough to keep me smiling as I read it. But I've got a very recent concern, Girl. Just keepin it real, I'm sensing some tension from you. Is the pressure too much, I mean 42,000+ hits, the Chris H. phone calls, trip to Hollywood, inquiring minds prying about your marital & dental status, etc. It's alot to face and I understand, but, please, back to yourself. Let the words flow as only you can do. Don't force it.
Not a complaint, only a concern. A tense L is still funnier than most anyone else.
i love reading these posts! how exciting for our lincee to be talked about by CH on the radio this morning. who knows how many people will read now!?
Lincee!
Denver loves you! You have had a loyal following here since the beginning.
Sadly last week, one of your avid readers passed away. Some of my fondest memories with her were discussing your recaps, how you are always right on the money and damn funny! You made us all laugh. Thank you for being part of that bond we all had here in Denver with our friend.
Lincee - will you please answer the hundreds of fans asking about your husband Chris next week? I know you used to always talk about him and just curious if you are still married. We want to know :)
Ditto what anonymous 3:41 said... :)
lincee-
please know that a lot of us respect your privacy. 45,000 is a lot of people to reveal your personal business to. we just love that you share your witty comments with us. as so many people have said before...you make this show so fun to watch!
PEOPLE!!! It is NONE of your business if she is still married or not, I'm sure if she wanted to tell you, she would have answered one of the millions of times you asked! Sorry, just thinking that MAYBE this is something that isn't she needs to share with the whole world.
Sorry, I was flustered, I meant it isn't something she needs to share with the whole world.
AMEN 3:53!!!!
So, I think I need to retract the comment I made last week about how Mowana has the most game out of all the girls...that theory went out the window with the waterworks display, yikes! And did anyone else notice how she became even more unnattractive with her hair pulled back while proclaiming her physical competitiveness...I think she just scared the other girls from winning...I'd be sleepin' with one eye open if I was sharing sleeping quarters with that one...
Good luck on the women tell all special! And be careful :)
ditto anonymous 3:43...it's nobody's business.
Straight Lawyer John,
Not to worry, friend! All is forgiven. This is your grace period of blogging. But, by the Final Rose Ceremony you better have all of your facts straight!!!
And....Lincee, Hi - it's Amber#1 (since i haven't noticed any other Ambers), your faithful groupie, and I will be a loyal fan whether I know your marital status or not! Keep somethin' for yourself, girl!
PEOPLE, if Lincee wanted to say private she shouldn't have started this blog. Like it or not she is now in the public eye and we are all nosey people and want to know the deal. This is the price of fame! Give it up, married, divorce, what's the deal???
I can not believe how insensitive you people are. She didn't start this blog to dish on her personal life, she did it for fun to share her recaps instead of sending it to 1,000 people at one time in a email every Tuesday!!!
Show a little respect and maybe throw a little bit of couth in there while you're at it -- geez!!!
i think lincee going public was a service to her fans... not for the fame. let's not bring her down with personal crap. who cares! she's so freakin' funny regardless of marrital status.
Oh my gosh...Harold's denim vest! I cracked up with that one. I guess she would have to wear a "wrap" skirt, too!!!!
Chris the Host???? We haven't heard from you this time????
Oops, I mean BFF Chris, not Chris the Host. My goof.
Here's a link to the American Way article about Chris Harrison. (American Airlines inflight magazine)
http://americanwaymag.com/aw/travel/celebrated.asp?archive_date=
I agree that Lincee's private life is none of our business. It amazes me how many rude people continue to ask about her marital status. If you think she started this blog to make herself into a public figure, then you obviously haven't been reading it. She constantly comments that she's surprised how many people are reading. That doesn't sound like someone who is after fame to me. Even if she is famous, everyone deserves their privacy.
Back to the issue at hand... who wins this thing? Spoilers? Gossip? I need to know MORE!!!
My bet is on Stoner Sarah. I think all the sightings of McHottie and Tennessee are red herrings...
Check out www.televisionwithoutpity.com for spoilers. Go to the forums and click on competitive reality...good stuff...
Yes, but how does it REALLY end? Does Travis marry Sarah S in a pink wedding a la Tristen and Ryan... does Moana carry Travis' love child and raise it in a poetry circle... Does Sarah Canada stop smoking for long enough to realize she's on TV... Will Susan find true happiness on a soap opera??? Someone must know!!!!
you know what....mo-wana is totally psyco, but she's the family visit i'm most interested in. i can't wait to see mchottie's face when he's got to deal with the loonies who raised that!
hey that's right! hey bff chris....where are you?!
No...not ALL of us want to know Lincee's marital status. I personally read her blog for the humor of it. What does her being married or not have anything to do with you?..the answer is absolutely nothing! So back off and just enjoy the recaps!
Straight lawyer John,
You are freaking hilarious and I just wanted to say that your wife is very lucky to be with a straight guy that is so funny b/c that is such a rare thing these days. Anyway, if for some reason your marriage to your hot lawyer wife doesn't work out, please let us blog readers know :)
Keep up the great comments, b/c they are almost if not as funny as Lincee's.
-irongirl from Nashville
p.s.Hope your wifey doesn't take that personally, I actually am in a happy relationship with a freaking hot airline pilot :) Who is funny and actually watched the final episode of Trista's show a couple of years ago. He made me promise to never do that to him again :(
5:35
Oops...
To 5:34: your post had me laughing so much I mistyped and then hit enter too soon. Anyhoo-I think there's no way he's giving the final rose to Mowanna, surely not! I'm a former teacher, so I'm rooting for Nashville, but I'm guessing it will come down to Canada and Lucci...and he'll choose Canada because he knows she'll be all about having a good time and doobies...and he won't want the drama that Lucci would bring...Just my opinion!
Lincee-congrats on the shout out in LA! So proud to have been reading your funnies for so long :). Go girl!
I can't wait to see you on the show! let us know what you'll be wearing so we can identify you.
Well, total crap, as I say. Posted huge and the system farted. I will NOT re-write my previous diatribe. But, Straight Guy # ? who has read Hollis...no wonder! Lincee is like Glenda compared to Hollis. But, I think she, Hollis, might take a read...unless she is pretending to be a German interpreter once again.
Short version: So why bash the Lincee fans from way back? Fame or Shame, it is out there. If they are inquiring...so what? If Lincee ignores, so what? Reach, breathe, let it go.
Seriously... Lincee is the ONLY reason why I even watch the Bachelor. There were theories that she was a PR plant by the show to generate more viewers. Lincee is a hilarious genius with a knack for expressing opinions some think of and would never say. And for you skeptics - you're simply just not as clever as Lincee.
A little more info about Lincee...
http://www.levensonpr.com/moore.htmhttp://www.levensonpr.com/moore.htm
Lincee, are you at all in fear of being googled more than Brangelina or Cindy Margolis? It is all in good fun, and I know people are curious about you, but I hope zealous fans and paparazzi don't scare you off of providing some of the best written entertainment this side of Wedding Crashers. All of our experiences and personal lives make us who we are, but your observations and wit stand alone! Rock on and knock em dead at "Tell All".
Looked at the info. on Slink and thought I would tell you that this is her OLD job, not current one. Why is everybody so obsessed with her life? This is about The Bachelor show, not Lincee. She may have to hire a body guard with all the hype.
Old job or current job, it still does show her ties to ABC in some manner . . . I say good on Lincee if she's getting paid for these. She ought to be making some serious dollars for making all of us laugh so much!! Go Lincee!!
Lincee, Just wanted you to know there are fans out here that enjoy whatever you choose to share about yourself....and expect nothing more than that! This is YOUR blog and you can choose to only write on the Bachelor, or add tidbits of yourself. We just love you and your humor! (I'm the BU 'angel' sis that is not yet the stroller pushin' grandma!! :))
Congrats on your upcoming LA trip. Have a blast!! Can't wait to hear your recap of THAT show...and the rest in between.
Hey, when again is the "tell all" show? This will be one that I actually watch!
Thanks for the blog Lincee. I have been reading your stuff since the very beginning, so I know you are not an ABC plant. If you had been a seed to "grow the viewers", then I don't think you would have bashed the show like you did for some of the bachelors/bachelorettes. Also, there were times when you almost forgot to watch the show and missed some of the shows.
Anyway, I am a faithful reader...have been, am still, and will always be (if you still do the recaps)
Cheers!
You people who looked up info on Lincee on the internet are the stalkers.
I have to say thanks to everyone saying that Lincee doesn't need to comment on her personal life - I kept thinking - damn - the girl can read and if she wanted to share she would - get a grip!
As a formerly engaged girl it always amazed (and pissed me off) when people I barely knew said "what happened" - I finally told one - if you were close enough for me to tell then you'd already know.
NUFF said!
Bravo, Bravo, I look forward to each week just to hear your beloved smart a@$ commentary. I live for a fellow smarty, keep up the good work and the code name for Susan of course is Lucci b/c she aspires to be the next Lucci to never win an emmy, except a pity emmy - sad!
I personally think you are all NUTS for asking about her being married. Who cares? Would it really make a darn in the hilarity that you feel each Tuesday reading the recap? NO. Is it your business? NO. And wouldn't common sense tell you - MAYBE just maybe she isn't married anymore so therefore - it's a sore subject and she would just prefer not to open that can of worms with all you nutzo nosey maniacs? Give the possibly now divorced Lincee a break. OR give the still married Lincee some privacy. She's not running for President here NOR does she owe ME or any of you one tid bit more than she wants to give.
today's scoop from the Tennessean:
Sarah better make sure Mom doesn't get her guy
Sarah Stone, the Nashville contestant on ABC's The Bachelor: Paris, grew up in the Jackson, Tenn., area, and her parents chatted with The Jackson Sun.
Vernita and Addison Stone revealed that Sarah's longest relationship is two years, her favorite subject in school was history and she hated math.
Sarah also, by the way, is crazy for burritos and the movie Singing in the Rain.
Even more exciting, Sarah's parents met The Bachelor, Vandy ER doc Travis Stork, during the hometown visit taped in November.
"I talked to him for a very long time. He really puts you at ease when you talk to him," Sarah's dad said. "I felt like I had known him for years after I talked to him for 15 minutes."
Mom likes him, too.
"He is very personable. He seemed very genuine. He is very calm. I like that Sarah has told me that he sincerely cares about people and that he wants to help people," she said.
"That is why he became a doctor. And I think that he has done a good job, too. It doesn't hurt that he's cute."
Does googling someone make you a stalker? If so, I guarantee at least half of you reading this right now (and you know who you are) should be locked up because you're all scary, sketchy, stalkers. Do you feel guilty? I think not. Lincee rocks everyone's face off and no one, to my knowledge, is "stalking" her by googling her. Side note: Is it awesome that Google is now a verb?! Rock on, verbs. Rock on, Bachlor! Rock on, Lincee!!
Can we leave Lincee alone now and go back to the show? Does anyone one else think Travis is a bit boring? We call him Flat Stanley-he has no depth!!
Flat Stanley is the paper man that elementary kids mail out to family and friends and track his adventures.
If bikerach is so faithful to the show, Lincee, etc. then how the heck does he not know what the "Tell All" show is. Get a clue, man.
Maybe it's Dr. Allie G. from Florida who's actually stalking the hilarious Lincee. I wonder what Rotten Eggs has been up to . . . I bet she'll be a hoot on the Women Tell All!!!
http://personals.yahoo.com/us/personals-1089574004-049134
She seems so normal off the show!
I agree with anonymous 3:21- Can we just get back to the show?- FOCUS People! We all love Lincee's humor- it is a given. That is why we read her funny, witty, Bachelor humor! So- let's move on...C'mon! She is going to be on the 'Girls Tell All'!!! How cool is that? We should be focusing on the season of the Best Bachelor EVER (that is a joke, ya know)Anyway- Can't we just all get along?
Here's a fun question I have for the masses reading the blog...to help us "focus" on happy things and stay away from the snarky comments.
How do the girls afford to quit their jobs and take a couple months off to do the bachelor? The "rotten eggs" doctor eluded to how much money she lost on this experience. If a doctor is freaking about the $$, how do the "financially challenged" handle it?
AND...who has that many cocktail dresses in their wardrobe? Seriously! Do you think ABC supplies their wardrobe and living expenses while on set for the McHottie festival? Or do you have a funnier explanation?
Lincee Rocks!!!
Oooops...I didn't mean to say "to do" the bachelor. Yikes! I meant to "appear" on the bachelor. If they got paid "to do" the bachelor...it would be a whole different show.
3:29 PM
Concerning Bikerach, SHE NOT HE was asking when the "TELL ALL" show is going to be aired, SHE was not asking what it is. Learn how to read. I am a faithful fan of the show and Lincee's, but I as well as others aren't sure when it is going to be on.
Sounds like Bikerach has a little chip on HER shoulder.
Maisey,
I live in Nashville, and have heard that Nashville Sarah borrowed a bunch of dresses from her girlfriends.... But who knows???? That is just what I heard... I am wondering how they all stay so tan, do they have tanning beds over there? And how do they stay so fit? I am guessing they have a gym on the property?
Irongirl
I would imagine they have their own Mystic Tan trailer right there so they just spray 'em down right before they have to go somewhere- Just a guess? and kidding. And yes- they do have a lot of clothes, I can't imagine one Bachelorette saying to another “Here, borrow this great dress, I brought it so I could look really HOT in it, but you wear it so you will” -- Not likely in the I-am-trying-to-win-Dr. McHottie-over-for-myself-world. I wonder if they give them a wadrobe to choose from on the set??
It's not bikerach talking, it is someone else, I just don't like it when people get wrongly talked about when they don't deserve it. I am just defending her, that is all. Don't be so mean! Bikerach is a cool person and she doesn't deserve to be talked about that way.
Good question. I think:
1. The dresses are from ABC wardrobe (from all the soap operas??)
2. The girls get a stipend to cover expense while out of a job if they make it to week three.
3. The have a tanning booth on site
4. They stay thin because they are on a liquid diet--Champagne--ha ha!!
I completely hate blogs...
Until yours. You are fantastic. Thank you for your on-point recaps and witty observations! You are the coolest!
Where is all the kissing and hot-tub make-out sessions?? I want to see kissing, w/o giant tongue action (thanks anyway Sarah). Mr. Winery couldn't stop himself (group date or not). The only kissing with "Flat Stanley" has been with the smitten kitten and it wasn't all that from what I could see and The Stoner on the camping trip. Has he even Grammaw- kissed Tennesse or Mowannna? What's up with that.
I sound like a perv. It isn't that-- it is just I got used to hearing all those weird sounds and it was also one of the reasons my husband would watch with me. "Come on Doc--show us what you got!!"
Great question Maisey-I'm thinking ABC must provide some clothing, we saw the coordinating bike outfits, I'm guessing the same applies to the rose ceremony dresses as well.
Another question-what about hair and makeup? Nashville had her big ole rollers in her hair, but do we think the girls are solely responsible for their hair and face?
If so, someone should have told Moana to keep her hair down and not up in that strange mohawk/rooster style. :)
Oh, and to 5:06-I completely agree-this season's Bachelor is missing a lot of action! Or, ABC is doing some crazy editing-I bet we could count the number of kisses on two hands. I bet Lincee is keeping track for us too. Lincee, let us know in your next recap.
PS-Maisey, I'm lovin the word "snarky". Adding it to my vocabulary now!
Hey, bikerach here again. I didn't mean to start such hostility. I just wanted to know when the show was. I am a fan of Lincee's....not the show. I don't keep up w/the times/dates. I think I read it (tell all show) on this blog when it was, but I did not know when it was posted and did not have time to hunt for it. Work...uggg.
Thanks for backing me up anonymous person you whoever you are.
Why have hostility on this blog when there is already so much hostility in the world?
This should be fun. So, anyone know WHEN the "tell all" will be aired?
Thanks! Have a good weekend all.
Jenn and Maisey,
So funny about whether there is wardrobe or not...I was thinking, did these girls get a memo from the ABC intern insisting they bring their pink Uggs to wear with Hot Pants, because that seems to have been the uniform around the "Chateau" as well...and I am not down with the fact that Chris Harrison is MIA this season. Gone are the days where he sits and has a fireside chat with the lucky but anxiety ridden bachelor. Gone are the steamy hot tub scenes, bubble baths with swim suits on (remember Ryan and Jen? Bless their hearts!: ) In seasons past we had gals laying around the pool working on their tans, skinny dipping, body shots, and cat fights. It is new bachelor...classy...uptown...chic....with craft service servin up piles of cold Royale's with cheese and McFrench Nuggets for everyone...
Who cares, though...We love it as long as Lincee gives us her spin!!
I've been reading your recaps via e-mail since the Firestone days (one of my friends married his first cousin in Ft. Worth and I was a bridesmaid -- so I'v e met Andrew!). You are hilarious and that is an understatement. Your recaps are the only reason I still watch the show. I love the Texas references too -- I miss living in Big D. Keep it up and I too look forward to seeing you on OPRAH, or at least Entertainment Tonight!!
Well, the posts aren't showing up for me, but I do recall reading one where someone had mentioned Average Joe & the dresses the women had to choose from on the first episode(hiding behind my computer I do admit to having watched that show!-shhhh don't tell anyone!)
7:10 anonymous-I bet you're right-the intern must have sent the uggs memo, and all the girls got it! I miss all the stuff that made The Bachelor what it was, I know we all made fun of it, but it was so entertaining to watch! I have found myself yawning this time around...we need a little more DRAMA!
Also, thanks to the person who answered my makeup question! Again, the posts aren't showing up for me, so I don't know who you are, but thanks for the info!
2 more days until the fun starts all over again!
I have been to a women tell all. I lived in LA and went to the Aaron I think that was his name bachelor. I was fun and long bring something to eat. The mini snickers they throw at you won't cut it. I got a t-shirt for being the pregnant one in the crowd. Ask one of the producers if you can ask one of the questions and give a shout out so we will know who you are. Love the recaps.
Put this question up the other day and it posted for a few minutes and then was taken off. I'm confused...anyway, (to rewind to a few episodes back), does anyone remember the camping trip with dr. and stoner? do you think they spent the night together in the woods or they went their own ways. it was just odd editing and it was hard to tell. sorry to go backwards but some of the last posts made me think about it. thanks!
Only one day until the show (yawn...) but only TWO DAYS until the one and only Lincee the great takes to the blog and dishes better than anyone in the free world. 'Nuf said. Are you reading ABC?
love from, Lincee's #1 FAN (and no, I am not Lincee's mother!)
or sister. <3
so bored, watching the superbowl and waiting for Grey's. Lincee, next recap, you've GOT to throw in some comments about the Stones' half-time show. Soooo old, yet they all have so much hair. Dyed? for sure. Extensions? Wigs?!? Can't wait for you to entertain us on Tues. !! :)
When I think you simply can't top your last post, you blow it out of the water! FANTASTIC! Thanks for the Southside shout out! When we start up our own competitive skate team, you get first dibs on "Sweetness"!
Lincee,
Have the inside scoop on who McHottie is actually with ..Do you want to know?
Only one more day of WAITING...until the hilarity and wit of Lincee! YEA!
more love from, Lincee's # 1 fan <3
Lincee you are the funniest person...I would pay to read this because it brings soo much humor into my boring life. (I almost got kicked out of the law library last week while reading your blog) Anyway I don't care if you are married or divorced or worked for ABC you are funny.
Anyway, I don't think there is any chemistry between any of the girls and the doc...I think whoever said he was Flat Stanley is right...I just could never put my finger on that...Anyway can't wait for tonight
mary from dallas.
attn: not a believer...
funny how you act high and mighty yet you take the time to post on lincee's blog. if all she does is write a little blog, why are you wasting your time and ours with your comment? give it up, you're really drunk amber aren't you? and you're writing from your laptop in Olive Garden? very sneaky......
for all the haters out there, sheesh! calm down everyone.
lincee rocks. lincee rocks single. lincee rocks married. lincee rocks straight. lincee rocks gay. it doesnt matter who she's with, what she's doing or what color hat shes wearing, she cracks us up and thats why we're hear.
we love ya girl!
(and i've been following u since 2003! not stalking, haha, just a fan)
oops, i meant, thats why we're here! typo!
mary from dallas
Moana...huh????
Okay,
Umm, wow...there is just so much to discuss I don't even know where to begin. Oh, I know. How about we start with Travis' PINK LIVING ROOM!?!??
It took me halfway into it to realize Lincee wasn't a gay guy...and oh by the way the back tats are called "tramp stamps" down here in Austin
Okay, so I'm stringing some beads at a bead making class the other night and the owner of the shop asks if anyone is watching the Bachelor...I am embarassed to say that I am watching, but I admit to this guilty pleasure - after all, there's only four other women here with us. She then informs me of this great website where this girl has been recapping the show and it's just hilarious.
So here I am, reading through the recaps to get myself caught up. I've been struggling for years since the show first came out - trying to ween myself of this once a week train wreck, and yet I am still hooked, but I now have my husband hooked - which he would kill me for saying - and together, we spend what could be quality time watching these people make fools of themselves on national television.
So far my entertainment has been listening to my husband's reaction to these women and watching the look on his face as the women do really stupid things. He actually stands up and walks away from the television when things get too awkward, but then returns and crunches up his face when he can't stand the embarassment for these people.
That is up until now, my husband has been my entertainment, but I have to say that this tops it all -
Thank you Lincee for making me feel like I have indeed NOT wasted hours of my life being addicted to this show - whatever you do, don't stop!
4 guys? Who are you kidding? I think they love this more than we do. My husband does. He's still waiting to see if Mary marries Byron cause if not, he'll leave me for her! Anyway, it's like the best quality time we ever have since we've had kids. Love reliving it here.
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